feeling very distressed and knowone to talk to

[kylie1986]

hi im new to this site, iv been in bed for 3 days now with a cold and vomiting, loss of weight prob half a stone in 2 weeks and feel there is something very wrong with me. iv had HA before but not this bad. everything hurts, my jaw my neck my glands. i constantly feel lumps everywhere and panic. i have horrible thoughts of the doctors twlling me i have only a few mo ths to live. im so scared! everyone keeps telling there is nothing wrong but how do they know. even the doctors just look at me and tell me im just anxious. what if they are missing something! i know i sound crazy, im driving myself mad but im convinced i have cancer. im so alone everyone thinks im nuts. but why am i throwing up and got pains! i also get terrible burning in my stomach.

[Hidden]

Hello

Try and break all this down

So you say you feel lumps

We all have lumps in our bodies but are they actually swollen or is your anxiety contributing to believing these lumps are a lot bigger than just normal ?

We all fear or most would fear that is we are feeling so ill that a Doctor is going to tell us our time is up , I know I have had those thoughts but then I have to turn them round and ask myself but why ? how many people feel really ill yet there time is not up so why should mine be , can I not just feel ill like thousands of other people do ?

Others telling us everything is ok ....chances are we have asked their opinion but once they give it because we have anxiety we don't believe them yet we still keep asking , why do we not believe them when they are usually friends of family we are asking because the anxiety we are feeling feeds of negative thoughts so we rule out any positives that are told us which we have to try and practice believing the positives rather than the negative which our minds have got so used to thinking

Have you been to the Doctors with this how you are suffering now , been sick believe it or not can happen when we have severe anxiety but also you could have a virus which if you have not been to the Doctors with this latest episode I would get an appointment to make sure you don't have a virus and by that I don't mean a life threatening one just the usual one's that go round from time to time

Your stomach will hurt if you are been sick regular and burn because if you are not eating you will be bringing a lot of bile up which has acid and burns , could you try and eat something maybe , something small but to help keep a lining on your stomach

No matter what though it is all well and good if the Doctors say this is anxiety but you need to be asking what more can they offer to help , if medication is something you are already taking then it could be it is not working and needs changing , if you are not taking any it could be something you could discuss with your Doctor and if medication is not for you then there are so many therapies on offer now which your Doctor should and I would ask what kinds they have that they could refer you for even if you have had therapy before it sometimes needs several attempts as well as different therapies suite different people it can be about finding the right one for you and that can mean trying more than one therapy out sometimes

I hope you start to feel better soon , if you could eat a little , maybe take a nice bath and sit in the room rather than in bed it might help to take a step to feeling a little bit better , I always relate other than sleeping if I am in bed in the day to illness so if you could get downstairs in another room it may help -)

Take Care x

[kylie1986 in reply to Hidden]

thank you so much for your reply. yes i constantly look for lumps. the past few days i have been bunged up with a cold and have what i hope are swollen lymph nodes in my nexk which are tender , one is near my windpipe which i didnt even k ow there were any there so automatically im assuming its something bad. im vomiting but have no diareah which the internet says isnt a virus if you dont have diareah. says it could be blockage of the intestines . again could it be a tumour blocking it. i read so many stories of young people dying of cancer that i believe im going to get everything. i know how mad i sound i do! i just cant help but think these thoughts. i keep wishing someone whould lock me in a nut house and do tests just so id have reassurance. bet you never heard anyone say that? thats how bad i feel. im terrified im going to leave my family and boyfriend. my grandad died few months back and said when he would get out of hospital he would go on picnics etc.. but never got the chance. im scared this will happen to me. im sorry im going on. i need so much help im scared what will happen if i dont

[dizzychar in reply to kylie1986]

😩 I no exactly how you feel, I feel this way and I constantly check for lumps and bumps. I'm obsessed with my neck at the minute 😢 I prod and poke at it all the time, I feel sick with worry! It's so scary, I can't get it out of my head.

If you've been sick then your body will feel weak and it does tend to make our anxiety worse, I was the same when I had sickness bug.

Are you having any therapy? X

[kylie1986 in reply to dizzychar]

well when the decide to send for me 😞. i must have been to the doctors 8 times in tears and they just keep handing me a peice of paper to contact a councellor. finally they said they would refer me and send a letter with an appointment but its been two weeks and still nothing. i know to other people health anxiety is nothing, attention seeking, all in the head but when you are going theough it , its life changing. iv never felt so bad! i hope you are ok? i have such a lumpy neck its unreal. im the same tho, forever poking.

[dizzychar in reply to kylie1986]

That's awful 😩 Give them a ring and chase them up.I'm having cbt therapy soon, I was on a waiting list but they've got me an appointment next week.

We're not attention seeking though, it's a genuine fear and it's awful, a lot of people don't understand what it's like, and there lucky not to feel that way.

I always think I can feel lumps and bumps I even prod my partner to see if his feels same, even though I no his will feel totally different.

I'm ok, having a bad day today though, finding it really hard to to think about things X x

[kylie1986 in reply to dizzychar]

yeah me to still sat in bed cant seem to get up. i constantly prob my boyfrind too but i am on the larger side i have fat everywhere and he doesnt so he always feels smooth with no lumps. my sister always says im attention seeking , i tell her yes of course i love feeling this way i dont want to go and have fun and enjoy my day. winds me right up. hopefully we getter better soon. im sure cbt will help you feel better. x

[Hidden in reply to kylie1986]

Hello

You are not crazy and you are not going on you are feeling really anxious and getting it all out can be a good thing how we are feeling

Please for your own sake keep away from Google , it is your own worse enemy and no matter what it says it is not a Doctor that can examine you so it always spits out the worse scenario and unless my Doctor has been useless all these years which I don't feel she has been she has diagnosed me in the past of having a virus without having both and I think you may need to hear that from your own Doctor so maybe think about that appointment

Sounds like loosing your Granddad may have triggered this of with you which is very common when we loose a loved one but I presume your Granddad was a good age where as you are young so please try not to make comparisons

I really do think that you are not crazy or if you are them most of us on here must be but some therapy would really help you

When I was young I started with Health Anxiety after loosing a Uncle

Back then you did not talk about it like we do now they would have maybe locked us up and thrown the key away and I wish there had been the help there is now because I could have saved myself so many years of pain as I would have took all the help I could have got , don't make that mistake like I did when there is the help on offer now , go and ask and take it so you can start enjoying your life which you will do once you get support x

[kylie1986 in reply to Hidden]

thank you. i know i need to stay off the internet. everything always comes back to cancer. yes i think my gradad prob did trigger it this time. i was fine for a few years before he died. im waiting my appointment for councelling so sooner that comes the better. thank you for your advice its nice to be able to talk to someone x

[Hidden in reply to kylie1986]

I understand because I lost my Dad last year to cancer and I am suffering with indigestion issues and those thoughts keep trying to take me over to but I have to keep pushing them back out because as the Doctor said to me you are not your Dad

I hope that appointment comes soon because I really think it will benefit you

Come and chat anytime , sometimes it just helps to get it all out and help us to start thinking rational again x

[kylie1986 in reply to Hidden]

im sorry for the loss of your dad. tha k you for taking the time to talk to me. sometimes i dont think im ever gunna get better. i mean today iv thought about 4 different cancers i could have . its never ending. i want it to stop x

[dizzychar]

I say the exact same thing. I hope it will help, I've had it in the past and it is good, I don't think il ever be better 😢

I'm larger too, I really want to join slimming world but I don't want to go to the group.

Is your boyfriend supportive? X

[kylie1986 in reply to dizzychar]

he is in a way but not in ither ways. he listens to me but when i go on for more than i should or i mention going on the internet he huffs and sighs like he is fed up. but i can talk to him about it i just feel like im doing his head in. he has been through health anxiety before so he thinks he k ows whats best , where as i think you k ow how it feels so just please support me with my feeli gs. is yours supportive? x

[dizzychar]

He can be but he gets frustrated sometimes. I ask loads of questions when I'm panicking. I think sometimes he gets sick of going over things.i fidget and can't sit sometimes, so when he's telling me to relax and I don't listen, he doesn't see point in saying anything because I don't always listen x