Vulnerable and weak feeling

[Starrlight]

So it just feels like I need to keep my guard up to protect myself from getting hurt emotionally. I feel really sensitive. I feel guilt or shame which lead to the feeling that there is something wrong with me that someone will notice and call me out on.

Realistically I shouldn’t give anyone permission to make me feel badly. It would be their negativity; their wrong.

As an example I am taking my kids to the doctor today and the doctors there can be extremely rude. One doc would not even refil my sons’ rescue inhaler prescriptions (saying it was poison) so now I am seeing the other doc there to get (hopefully) the prescriptions. My youngest son had a severe attack in which he could not breathe barely at all for about 5 minutes and it was super scary so anything to do with the inhalers, breathing, wheezing, coughing etc gives me such bad anxiety that it feel it in my heart.

So I am having a time worrying about this appointment and hoping I won’t have panic attacks because within the last week they have gotten worse and harder to control.

I want to imagine that the appointment will be more pleasant than the horrors I imagine. So I am trying to believe in myself that I can speak up and take care of myself when I need to. I just can’t wait to get it over with and it is still 4 hours away. I wish it was now so I could get it over with.

[gerrerd]

Worrying about something you have no control over is futile . If you have no control of it you can do nothing about it, so worry is futile. And happiness is accepting what is. Hope this helps Gerrerd.

[Starrlight in reply to gerrerd]

True. Thanks for the reminder. I will try accepting today instead of worrying.

[gerrerd in reply to Starrlight]

Glad It was of help.

[gerrerd in reply to Starrlight]

Just forgive your self and every one that as ever looked on you unkindly. But most of all love yourself. Do this daily Hope this helps Gerrerd.

[Starrlight in reply to gerrerd]

Good idea. Trying. I am sick today so thinking maybe it will be easier to love or at least have compassion for myself. I think it’s easier to forgive others and self but really wanting to have more love in me.

[Vonnah]

Everything will be okay. Just take one day at a time. You will figure things out.

[Starrlight in reply to Vonnah]

(((((Vonnah)))))) perfect timing. Right now one moment at a time heh heh Thank you! Yes trying to keep trusting.

[Vonnah in reply to Starrlight]

Your welcome friend! 💜

[gerrerd]

The greatest gift we can give our selfs, is be willing to love yourself. You are a child of the universe. Be willing. Hope this helps. Gerrerd.

[Starrlight in reply to gerrerd]

It’s easier to love when we are not in pain... but we should always strive for love.