Who do I trust???

[Chubbers]

I have some family members set on the idea that medications are bad for you and doctors are out to harm you! I've tried everything to NOT have to take medication BUT nothing has worked!!! SO....It's medications for me at least for now. I believe natural remedies work for some people but not for me. However I can incorporate a few things like eating better and using some essential oils properly! I guess my point is I feel defeated cause I am taking medication😥. There are people who say I will never be right because of the meds. Then the thought doctors are trying to harm me makes me more anxious!!! They say the Drs are trying to keep us sick and on drugs😥! Are ally I just want to feel better like the sweet caring person I am so I can do good at my new job UGH!!! Sorry so frustrated today!!!

[BettyA]

Chubbers Hi~!

I am sorry you have to go through that with family members. I am sure they 'mean well' but they are not in YOUR shoes. I can see why this could drive you pretty bonkers trying to 'make them happy.'

I myself do as many 'natural' meds/helpers as I can... However, I will NOT be so stubborn as to not take what I KNOW I need to take...and that includes antibiotics...

Do they have to know you take them. I know you should be a 'big girl' and tell them its your life and you will do as you please...BUT.... we also know that sometimes invites bigger problems... So LIE to them. Yes, I actually said that. Let it be like a game to you and not take it too seriously. Its YOUR business. Some people would say 'who cares what they think'.... but we KNOW its more complicated than that.

Sometimes I wish that I wasn't psychologically dependent upon my one .5 Ativan every day...but I figure its all ok...

There are people who can't pop enough pills in their mouths... but what little YOU take is not going to make you a psychological addict!!! We all are different and we just have to live and let live. Wish your family members would see that! I DO NOT believe the Drs are 'trying to harm you'...but drs ARE influenced by Big Pharma to push those drugs and some get paid a lot for it! But you don't have to let THAT effect YOU!

I am spiritual but NOT 'religious'... but with my metaphysical beliefs I believe that "it IS DONE UNTO YOU ACCORDING TO YOUR BELIEFS".... our minds are powerful...This is the reason PLACEDBOS work!!...they are just sugar pills.

So be careful what you choose to believe. I have to remind myself of that! When you take any kind of a med...hold it in your hand and say: "Spirit, bless this (whatever it is) to my highest good...thank you."

Play the game with your family members to the extent that it BENEFITS YOU.... and IF you think the time is right...well then, tell them you will do as you please!!!!... hopefully you are not dependent upon them to the point where you have to live with them and they take care of you, right??? Or you can word things in a nice way... just do NOT LET THEM rule your life... we generally give people PERMISSION to do that....(yup)... I apologize for the length of this... so will end this with GOOD LUCK!!

[Chubbers in reply to BettyA]

I love that you typed so much to me! Makes me feel special 😉! I know the person I am inside is being masked by how horrible I feel. Like I said I'm taking the meds even though they scare me cause nothing has helped me in the past few years. I just wish I didn't feel so horrible today. I know it is day one of the med change I must give it time. I hope it doesn't cause me weight gain again and dry mouth and everything else. I really wish somethin else had worked. Ugh I'm nauseated just want to be ME!!! I know my family cares about me but if they only knew how truly miserable I've been maybe they would understand I dunno!

[allnew2me]

Chubbers ~ you cannot live your life to suit others. You have to do what's right for YOU. If meds are what's right for you in the here and now you go for it. There's way too much science involved for the paranoid theory of drs are trying to keep us sick!

Live your life for you

Personally since having my diagnosis my husband wants me to go to the Dr and see if they will change my medication - I'm taking beta blockers for things like racing heart, they thought I only had anxiety so were just dealing with that. Now they have said depression too he wants me to see if I can get meds for that. I've been ok on just these, I don't want to go down the route of anti depressants if I don't HAVE to.

I will go get help for my depression in med form if I feel I need to but the withdrawal from them scares me so much I don't want them right now. I'm much better than I was a few weeks ago so that's progress to me. I have to be weaned from the beta blockers which was a big thing to me before I took the first but I'll deal with that when I'm strong enough to. He's not pressuring me to go and get changed or anything like that but has Saud about it and if I had a cut he'd take me to get it sorted, if I was ill (aside) from this he'd take me to get it sorted so I think he's thinking of this as the same. You have something wrong why are you not seeing the Dr to get something to sort it. He doesn't understand all this just as I didn't before getting a massive visit from anxiety.

My point after waffling on is that I'm dealing with this as I want to so it's (as much as possible) in my control. This is my treatment I want to be the one to decide what happens in my time not because a piece of paper has turned up saying I have something else wrong. I'm still the same as I was before I opened the envelope I didn't suddenly get worse

'Don't base your decision on the opinions of those who don't want to see you grow' - Yvonne Pierre

Xx

[Chubbers in reply to allnew2me]

Well I'm back on antidepressants and nog thrilled about it but literally NOTHING else was helping. I do feel defeated. And yes beta blockers is what I'm on for heart pslpitations and blood pressure. I tried so much to not have to take these meds. I hate anxiety and depression but also hate feeling of meds😥

[allnew2me in reply to Chubbers]

If that works for you then so be it. It is noones business but yours. For me the thought scares me BUT I know that option is there and believe me if I need them I WILL be going to get them. I will not end up where I was a month ago again no way no how! If they are my saviour then so be it just like right now they could be your saviour.

It is you taking them and it us you dealing with all this no one else. What difference does it make to anyone else's life how you do it? Xx

[Chubbers in reply to allnew2me]

Yeah true I just remember the horrible withdrawals I had before but I guess if I don't take them it's cry every single day and I don't want my boyfriend to have to deal with me this way. He is so patient with me and kind and good to me. Right now I'm not used to these meds so I feel sick I just hate it I hope it goes away cause I start new job next week. Who would have thought anxiety and depression and pain could turn life so upside down sideways!??

[allnew2me]

It turns it round and round and inside out in so many ways it's truly hard to believe unless you experience it.

You have your answer in your reply there about what to do.

The side effects aren't forever, total crap while you have them but won't last. Keep as you are. Some of the sick feeling may he down to your anxiety being at a high too xx

[Chubbers in reply to allnew2me]

Thanks I'm in desperate need of reassurance right now 😞

[allnew2me in reply to Chubbers]

No one can decide this for you and those who have been trying are WRONG to do so this is about you. Given that you are taking them go for it and carry on. They need time to help properly as you know. If say 10 ish weeks after starting (giving 6-8 to get in your system) then you feel no different see your Dr and see what he/she suggests.

Just don't be influenced by what others may think or say to you. Do what's right for you and follow your heart.

For what its worth I think you're doing the right thing for you from what you've said so far xx

[Chubbers in reply to allnew2me]

Thank you! Sometimes I just don't know who I am anymore this has affected me so badly! I had a friend jump in front of a train almost a year ago now😥 I don't want to get to that point!!!

[allnew2me in reply to Chubbers]

Oh hun that's horrific, I truly feel for you. What a place they must have been in.

Anxiety hit me from what appeared at the time from nowhere. I was sat New yrs eve fine and then I wasn't. I spent the next 7 days getting worse till I saw the dr I was sure they were gonna section me I scared myself even on the outside without considering what was going on inside I was such a mess with no clue what was happening I thought I'd gone mad or having a breakdown and was sure I was gonna be locked up. I told the Dr that evening I'm not having suicidal thoughts but I'd rather be dead than carry on another minute feeling like this. Told the lady who did my assessment the same thing. That was a scary place to be in and I'd rather not be here than go there again. I've never understood mental health problems or how people could kill themselves but after experiencing that darkness which probably isn't as bad as many get I can understand why and I refuse to get worse because of that. It keeps me trying to push forward and dig out of this.

It's a lonely scary world that our heads live in, really no picnic and withno light shining the way out of it, it's hard.

You'll find your way to deal with this and youllove forward and be stronger for it, just don't give in or bow down to others xx

[Agora1]

You know in your heart that doctors aren't out to harm you. Their oath is to provide no harm as well as to cure you, if possible. They reach for meds when their hands are tied. They want you to feel better. Sometimes it takes both medical doctors as well as therapists to get you through a crisis or at least to level it out. Family and friends may mean well but unless they have experienced the same thing, they haven't the foggiest.

Even people who say "oh I'm anxious too" don't know the difference between anxious

and anxiety disorder. Trust your doctor but also be your own advocate in your health.

Good Luck with your new job. P.S. It's okay to feel frustrated, it helps us move forward.