This post I am writing about my experience of trying to be myself!!
We all have one feeling in common and that is we all miss our oldself!!
We all always think that I miss old myself and I want to be old me,
but let me tell you one thing clearly that you cannot be old yourself again because life and time they are like flowing river and they dont go back they always march forward!!
Even when i was in my initial four years I always imagine about being me but that is not the solution.
Please make sure you read this line again that is not the solution again, I am no doctor but that is not the solution that will give you peace and that is not the solution you are searching for!!
This problem makes you feel like your old self is there but you cant just access it,
It is like your old self is covered with layer of dust,
When you always think about be1ing old your self every time you think that before this problem i used to behave this way and I am not behaving that way, I should try to behave like old me but just give it some space to your new me and let the new life accept you and also accept the new you!!
By trying to be old you , you are still in past and that is what you should avoid!!
By doing this you are at peace with new you and in other scenario when you crave to be old self you feel somewhat hatred for present yourself, though you do not know this but you are doing this unknowingly!!
By accepting your new you , who is deep in anxiety and feels like worthless you will be feeling better and when you stop hating your current situation you will feel relaxed because you will be in fully present though that present will be painful but that pain will slowly decrease!!
By being in present you will be in acceptance and that is the first step to recovery!!
When you will be out of this problem you will be getting better than old you!!
This you will understand when you will be your way on recovery, though I am not on my clear way of recovery,But this problem changed my personality totally!!
I am more social now and more compassionate!!!
And so many changes in my life It is like I understand life better than before.
Before this problem I used to be geek and book worm and books were my only friends but because of this problem I am not able to read properly so I had to get out of my room and I had to meet so many people!!
I learnt my way around people , initially it was difficult but now it feels good!!
in my 12th before this problem I used to know only some limited guys only and I was so shy with girls also!!
But this all changed slowly when I tried to get mixed with people,
With this problem it was difficult but slowly I managed and now I am very good with girls , I have so many friends who are girls though I do not have girlfriend and I dont want one until I think I am feeling better,
but still I am trying to make my way with my good old friends books and as I wanted to go to IIT before this problem , I still have that goal and for that i am trying to read slowly!!
Hope this will give you glimpse of your future when you will be out of this hell!!
As always you come out of problem more powerful, patient and wise!!
Same will happen with this!!
Whatever I am writing is really hard to digest but it is really helpful!!