Don't like this

Thanks, I no what you mean, I just can't seem to help myself, I saw an iapt worker just over a week ago and I'm waiting for a call to see what therapy il be having (will probably be cbt) it's so scary being like this. I spend most of my day moping about the aches and pains, it's horrible X

I spoke to someone at IAPT on 8th January which was a Friday, she Saud they'd call back Mon ortues and I thought nooo I can'tgo in like this for a few more days I neeeeeeeeeed help. They called that same evening and I was Like yes! Assessment time (ihad misunderstood my next contact was my assessment) she booked me in ffor assessment, asked if I wanted face to face it telephone I asked which was quicker so she checked. Face to face was last week if Feb or phone was 1st Feb so I opted for phone. Dreading how I was going to get through 3 weeks Like that. 1 week to go and somehow I'm still here counting down. I looked at private therapists as I really didn't want to wait, then had it pointed out to me if I go in there to be treated for anxiety without a full assessment then I could only be dealing with half the problem there could be something else with it. Being pig headed for a few days I knew best I wanted treatment NOW I felt totally crazy and unable to function or do anything. I did let this sink in and it worried me that if I did have another skeleton lurking in me that it was going to be a waste of time and would be back and I cannot face the thought of ever being that bad again.

I've got 3 boys ranging from 2 to almost 12. They give me enough to worry about so I Can't see how I have time to be anxious either but it's always there I can feel it sat in me like a lion waiting to pounce. It sure has a way of letting us know that its not far and hasn't gone anywhere.

How much longer if the 2 weeks do you have left to wait? Xx

In the height of it which was when I first knew something waswrong a few weeks ago I didn't go out, stayed curled up on the sofa with a blanket, I was cold, tired, shaking and totally consumed by anxiety. I then had to go out when the kids went to school I had derealisation going on so it was all like a daydream. I'm still doing school runs and occassionally go to a friend's or my sisters for a little while it helps as a distraction and to pass time although it doesn't distract me completely.

Fingers crossed Friday is your day and it doesn't take long to be seen and get the ball rolling for you.

The waiting game is driving me mad and it feels like it's been months since I first spoke to them. Time is going by so slowly it's horrible xx