Just a rant to be honest. It's so annoying, so frustrating. I can barely sleep, I forget to eat, my body hurts all over from the all-day tension, I feel faint and sick (and have fainted/vomited in the past) from exhaustion, I'm a bright woman and when the anxiety is under control I'm successful, but I can't think straight.
I have GAD but not the 'worrying' type. Rather than ruminative worry, my mind is constantly active with what I would describe as 'compulsive' daydreams. By that I mean I live in a fantasy world (a happy one) for the vast majority of the day. I slip into it automatically and don't notice I'm in a vivid fantasy land until hours after it started, when I find myself pacing up and down my flat acting out whatever is in my head. Why this stresses me out so much, I don't know. If anything, the daydreams make me smile. They are happy dreams. I'm guessing that I daydream to avoid whatever is stressing me out. But apparently I'm also avoiding awareness of what is stressing me out. I know it's up to me and I'm continuing to do what I can to make it manageable, but frankly just needed to let off steam.
I would just like a day when my muscles doesn't hurt, and when I don't feel like I'm fighting the urgent need for sleep. I'm so incredibly exhausted. I'm just complaining, to be honest. I know I just need to get back on track. It's not always this bad.