Help me yesterday

I am a 45 year old female with a master's degree and am a certified Grant Writer and fundraiser.

I have been misdiagnosed for over 10 yrs and finally got a big piece of the puzzle that answers alot, but can not find any help in South Dakota. I have been given prescriptions after prescriptions for 10 years and I only have 1 kidney and adrenal gland. There were so many prescriptions that my system now does not metabolize most prescriptions and the ones it does, is a challenge to figure out.

I have no support and actually just the opposite. I grew up in a alcoholic abusive, neglectful, etc family and when I became ill as an adult and the doctors were not trying to get to the root of the problem, my family and daughter they enmeshed into it, started threatening me and abusing me in many ways. They have made me homeless about 5 times and I currently am staying in a motel that takes $800 of my disability check and the rest goes to car insurance. The family knows this and uses that as a tactic to abuse me.

I am actually scared for the first time in my life, even after all I have been through in my childhood including being dragged down 4 flights of stairs and beat with a hammer, my birth mom and dad and brother all tried to choke me to death. They also threatened that they have dirty legal connections that will do whatever they want them to do to me. And they have tried many things.

I must be a horrible person right? Well I am the only one that is not an alcoholic, abusive, gambler, etc. I don't have a clue why they want to hurt me so badly.

I was finally diagnosed with complex ptsd and am an adult child of alcoholics and abusive family. However there is no help in South Dakota and I have researched for so long that it actually triggers things when I try to find information and help. I have no one else that is helping me find a place to heal.

The big part I am scared of right now is my depression has set in again after being 10 plus years without it. And I know I need to find the right help for treatment and away from my family. When I am weak, due to the complexity of my complex ptsd, that is when they get me. So I isolate or try to hide.

Oh I didn't tell you they are millionaires! Figures and get away with many things including illegal and according to the American Disabilities Act, what they have and are doing to me is abuse and they can get in a lot of trouble. But my main focus and goal is to move where I can get the help I need to heal first. I also have seizures, mostly because of stress. I do have a service dog thank goodness. I don't know what or where I would be otherwise, but I don't feel I am giving him what he deserves.

Sorry a lot of information, and that is only a small portion of all of it.

So a big question is how do I get the help I need to heal for my ptsd? Also how do I go about building a healthy diverse network? I need to talk on the phone sometimes, I don't do a lot on a computer because yhey are always hacking in. But I need to find a safe place, where there is supprt of different things and I have run out of idea's.

Can anyone help me?

6 Replies

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  • Hello

    I am so sorry to read your post what a lot you have been through and still going through

    You do need help & as we are all from different parts of the world which is so fantastic how we can be yet come on the internet and try & give support to each other I do not know how the system works where you are but I could only suggest is there any chance you could move where you could get the support you truly deserve

    There are all different kinds of Communities on Heath Unlocked and you can be a member on more than one Community , I have added a link that will take you to a Community for ptsd that might be helpful and you could get some advise as well as on here to

    Take Care x

    healthunlocked.com/healmypt...

  • Thank you very much. Yes I need to move to heal. And I need to very very soon, before I have no hope left. I will check out what you suggested. I really do need support, I can't do this al8ne anymore. I just don't know where to go and just doing the research I have done today has hit so many triggers. Isn't there health advocates, advocates of any kind to help (I thought especially being on disability there was), or a mentor, peer support, someone who truly cares and understands that I can talk to? I am locked in this small motel room that takes $800 of my 913 disability check and the rest goes to car insurance, so I am not able to see my chiropractor that does Accupuncture and is in charge of my supplements that I cant afford. I don't want others to feel sorry for me, think I am saying poor me and I do not want to play a victim role. I think I have been in a survivor mode surviving so long that I hurt so much and it is difficult for me to research now.

    I am sorry I know I must seem so needy and I don't want to come across like that. I am just so exhausted, I have no clue how to say anything anymore.

  • Hello

    Have you any charities where you are that could help ?

    I think from what you are saying your Health care system is very different from in the UK and I feel pretty hopeless with what to suggest but if you could talk to someone there has to be some kind of support or charities that help people that are vulnerable ?

    We may not always have the answers on here but we are good at listening so if you ever feel you want to vent how you feel this is somewhere where you can and it may just help in a small way

    Sorry I have no more suggestions I hope someone will see your post and have more knowledge on this x

  • Hello UNIQUE

    It can be a problem for us in the UK to discuss the American Health system. All I can suggest is you need to try and live a new life, possibly in a new area where your family does not know how to find you. Personally I would imagine if you could do that life may become more sweet for you and your four legged friend.

    We moved away from a very nasty family and now we live a new life where it would be able to find us. It has given us a new more intense life where we do not worry if we could be found. I am sixty five and like you I have a Border Collie who looks after the both of us.

    Do you have mental health day centres where you live, somewhere where you can mix and feel free to experience mixt company. and new activities. That is all I can really suggest. If you can plan a new area to make a secret move to. It is easier than many think in the UK so it must be possible is the USA

    You are an educated lady who if given a chance could start again and turn your back on a life that is so burdensome

    Of course if you are in fear of your family members why do you not have words with the Police to get them of your back. In the UK we have stiff laws that can be enforced if people are causing you harm and worry, you have that right to a peaceful live without the hassle of nast people, family or not.

    We are here to chat if you need to, try to plan ahead, the only thing stopping you is yourself, possible job and fear of the unknown.

    I was over sixty when we disapeared

    BOB

  • Oh I forgot to mention that the health care system here is decades behind and it is only about prescriptions

  • With regard to the abuse - you might want to approach the police.

    With regard to your PTSD you might want to contact NAMI to point you in the direction of help in your area: nami.org

    Hope this helps

    Doug

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