I've been feeling really stressed out lately due to issues I've been having with my stomach. Once my stress level goes up, my anxiety kicks in full force and I get MAJOR derealization/depersonalization (dr/dp). It feels like nothing is real, I can't feel my body, I feel completely detatched as if I'm living in my own bubble. My worst fear is "going crazy "(or losing touch with reality) and when my dr/dp kick in, this fear is at the front of my focus. I obsess about it 24/7. I'm having constant panic attacks thinking, "this is it. it's happening, i've lost it." It's the scariest feeling in the world and the most difficult to explain. I have been feeling dp/dr for about 10 months now without any relief. There are periods where it is not as strong and there are periods where I feel that I can't survive it's so bad. Right now, it's 4am and I am currently freaking out. It interferes with my sleep and messes me up every night. I've been going to sleep at 4am and waking up at 1 30pm (sleep schedule very messed up). I can not handle the thought of going crazy. I freak out at the word I fear it so much. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared right now. Doctors keep telling me people who are "crazy" don't know they are and that I shouldn't worry because I'm questioning it which is a good thing (proved its anxiety) but it feels so real that I'm convinced all the time. I've been to emerg over this fear, I've suffered countless panic attacks and the dp/dr just won't lift. I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing feels real, I feel confused all the time, my memory is terrible, I can't focus at all, and I feel like my brain is just going to stop working. I can't take this anymore. Plus, I'm only 16. I'm afraid this will somehow mess my brain up for the rest of my life even though I'm being told, "it's just anxiety" by every doctor and family member.
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