Will it ever end!!!!!!!!

All day I've been feeling depressed and I feel like nothing is real, I hate this feeling! I didn't sleep well last night, so I tried to sleep better tonight, with no hope. 3 hours have gone by and nope I still feel empty and not tired at all. My mind just won't stop! It won't stop obsessing over my heart stopping and me dying!!! Its been 9 freakin months! And I'm literally sick of it! I think my mind won't stop worrying about my heart stopping until it actually does. My heart is always racing and fluttering out of my chest. I'll check my pulse and when I do, I feel my heart pause then beat hardly, that is probably the scariest feeling and what cause all of this obssesive thinking. Why, why can't I think of anything else, why is sooo dificult to just STOP! I'm just so angry and sad and tired of it all...just had to vent. 😧😤😥😢😭

8 Replies

  • Dude last night I went to bed around 12 and at 4:20 I was awake!!

    And after that I dont know I had good sleep not that deep but I had and now I am here at office, working!!

    The thing we do when we cant sleep is that we start worrying!!

    What we think before going to sleep is will I get good sleep or not today!

    that thought consumes your mind so much and you are so obsessed with that thought!!1

    Our sleep process is natural, Normal people dont say themselves to sleep, They do not try to control their thoughts!!

    And you will argue that they dont feel like the way we are feeling!!

    Right but when you have so many thoughts go out in open where you can feel breeze, or cold wind with open sky above your head , have so much of water!!

    When I was initial stage of my anxiety and insomania i felt the way you are feeling, but if you will always so obssessed with your thoughts of sleep and you will always in waiting for your sleep train to come, It wont come!!

    I hope this helps, you can ask more calrification if you want!!

  • Hey thanks, I guess you're right. We aren't robots and can't just tell ourselves to sleep. After venting though, I felt much better and I don't care if I get some sleep or not. I'll drift off eventually I suppose. Thanks for your reply it means alot to me.

  • Initially It will be hard not to worry but you can learn slowly!!1

    And dont take pills , because once your sleep is dependent on pills it would be always dependent on pills!!

    and dont be too hard on yourself,

    that why I am thinking this and that!1

    they are thoughts you are not suppoesd to controle them!!

    We cant as you already said we are not robots!!

    We can just let pass them through our minds like wave !!!

    And this all things you will learn slowly !!

    Only if you dont take pills!!

  • Im not currently taking medicarion, I fear itll only make it worse. I'll drink tea instead, and sometimes it helps. My thoughts feel like more than wave, they are more like tornados! 😜

  • For everybody it is like tornados initially but those tornados will become wave and then like still water(not totally still that never happens even if you are normal!!)

    This all you will learn slowly!!

  • And not taking medication is good decision!!Keep it up!!

  • Try to find a tea that has lavender in it that's really good for anxiety and relaxation

  • Hello, just saw your post.

    I know what you are talking about....really. I have had heart palpitations, skipped beats, fluttering, like it's stuck in a weird pattern......for over 20 years. I do understand. I went to a Cardiologist 15 years ago and was told I had MVP....a benign but irritating heart issue. Mitral Valve Prolapse is not uncommon and men can have it but it's more women who do. A lot of people never have a symptom from it, others do. I'm one of the lucky ones! You should get it checked by a heart doctor. Tests are not painful or hurt at all. It might ease your mind and it's probably anxiety. I still get palpitations and fluttering occasionally...I do take medication which helps. I am struggling with a tightness in the throat feeling. I've had that off and on for years. Like a lump in the throat constant. I'm going next week for an upper endoscopy and praying it's nothing bad and they can help me.

    Life can be scary but we have to do what we can and find ways to ease the anxiety. Sleepless nights are a common daily thing for me...that's not good because our bodies have no time to relax and heal.

    A good read is Hope and Help for Nervous Suffering by Claire Weekes....you will see all your symptoms. I have the audio version.

    Hope this helps some. Take care.


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