I need to find myself again

I am struggling with life. I am crying at the slightest criticism waves of panic and anxiety. Mentally and physically beating myself up. I am in remission from cancer and so wish it was terminal and this terrible feeling of hopelessness would end. I can see other people getting on with their lives living enjoying themselves all i see is bleakness and blankness am I alone I feel it when will it end anxiety and fear unbelievable pain.

6 Replies

  • Hello

    It seems you have been going through a really rough time and having cancer & so pleased to hear you are now in remission must have really taken its toll on you

    I think the fact that you are feeling you had wished it was terminal is you crying out for help & support with how you are feeling rather than deep down you really wishing this was true as I have wished so many negative things over the years with anxiety but looking back those negative thoughts was me needing & wanting help but not knowing how or where to get it , but there is so much support now & sounds like you could also be a little depressed which would be totally understandable if you were

    Have you spoken to your Doctor ...if not I would urge you to make an appointment & seek the help you need & if you have spoken to them then go back again & let them know just how bad you are feeling

    I know sometimes if feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel , that life will never be the same again , the anxiety clouds any light that is there till we cannot see it or have any hope but please believe me it will be there & a life will be there to once you start to get back on the path to find it & you will with support

    I hope you get lot's of support from members to let you know you are not alone , that even strangers that have never met do care

    Have you looked at the other communities on HU ?

    There is Action on Depression that may be worth looking at also if you go into Communities by dropping down the arrow that says communities at the top of your page if you put cancer in I am sure there will be a community that will have members that have or are dealing with similar issues that you have & are dealing with , it is worth having a look :-)

    Take Care x

  • Thank you so much for your lovely words of comfort and support it's good to know I am not alone. I will take up your suggestions. Greatly appreciated thank you.

  • After all you've been through its hardly surprising to feel the way you do. A psychotherapist is best from my experience. If you can afford to pay privately it's easy, if not your doctor should put you on a waiting list. I've been diagnosed with PTSD. Like your Ive always helped others whilst struggling inside. Was told I needed to rescue my own "inner child" hope that makes some sense!! xx

  • It makes a great deal of sense. Cannot thank you enough. I need to switch my brain off otherwise I will go mad!

  • Feel free to pm me😀

  • Thank you.

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