Feeling Let Down And Abandoned!

I have for 4 years had challenges with panic attacks and anxiety. I cannot think of a feeling that I have had that is as bad as a panic attack.

I have over the last 4 years felt that I have gradually managed to cope better with panic attacks and anxiety. I was when I was really poorly assessed by the Crisis Team at a local hospital. Over the last 4 years I have constantly lived with the threat that my wife was going to leave me. It was either directly stated or implied. My wife on Wednesday told me that she has found somewhere else to live and will be moving shortly. I felt devasted by this but at the same time not surprise. It was like someone ill dying. You are shocked by the death but not surprised.

I had a spell of 5 months when I was working full time and during this period my wife seemed happy to remain with me. Due to work related anxiety I had to leave the job at the end of January. During the last couple of months at the job I was physically sick before going to work most days. I pushed myself to the end of my strength. From when I left that job my wife was actively looking to leave me whilst to my face was saying that she understood and that she was going to stay with me!!

When I met my wife 10 years ago I worked for a prestigious firm as a solicitor. I had good physical and mental health and a reasonable wage coming. I feel that my wife has abandoned me because of the issues that I have had over the last few years with anxiety and panic attacks. Like all ill health you do not ask for it. I am writing this post to tell you my story and perhaps give a warning that partners can turn their back on you when you have anxiety.

Very best wishes :)


6 Replies

  • Ahhhh I feel for you, hope things get better

  • I am sure that they will. I think that the coming days may be a bit tough. Very best wishes :)

  • Hello

    I can totally empathize with how you must be feeling & reading your post it really does sound from what you say that while the going was good then everything was fine but as soon as you have had problems then things went downhill & you have every right to feel as you do , when we get married the vows we take say "In sickness & in health " seems that your wife should have eliminated the sickness bit , I feel angry for you !

    But please don't believe that this is always the case there are so many people that have really supportive partners that are there for them through the good & and bad times & as much as you must e feeling hurt I think I would in a way try & turn it round & maybe say to myself well I could have put another 10 years or more into this marriage to get ill & if this is the way she is she would have most likely left me then so she has done me a favor letting me see the real person she is as this gives me time to get well & I know you won't or possibly want this at the moment but there is every chance there is someone out there that deserves you more , not for what you have but just because you are who you are & most with anxiety are very sensitive , caring , loving people

    As one chapter closes in life another one opens & we can steer the next one to read however we choose with what we have at that moment , I am wishing the next chapter in your life brings you health , love & happiness x

  • Thanks that is very much appreciated. I am looking to move onto the next chapter :)

  • Hi , I think is just got too much for her as not everybody understands and can relate to our situation or she is just not that person you thought she was. I think this is very unfair thing to do but not everyone is like that , my partner of 11 years helped me so much . I feel like I can talk to him about my anxiety and panic attack and he understand or at least he makes me feel like he does. Support in your partner means so much and if she is not ready to stay throught this hard patch hey maybe she is not the person for you . Remember this isn't the end if the word , think about yourself first and I hope you will find someone who will stick around .

  • Thanks very much for your kind thoughts. I will look to move on on a day to day basis :)

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