What is my next step forward?

I have had a spell 4-6 weeks where I felt that I was really moving forward with my anxiety and panic attacks. I was at the stage where I was for most of the time did not even noticing anxiety. I was planning activities that would take me out of my comfort zone such as trips that would mean that I would have to stay away from home. During this recent period I have done really well at my job and have been assigned very important work by my boss.

I have over the last few days been on a downward spiral due to the fact that I have felt ill with a cold. I have felt very anxious and panicky especially during the early evening between 6pm -8.30pm. During these periods I have broken down into tears and become terrified that my wife will leave me. I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for just over a year and since that time I have had periods when I seemed to be getting better and then seem to fall on my face.

I did a post earlier this week and had some very kind replies. A suggestion was that I should have Acceptance of the situation. I thought that I understood this but am not so sure now. I would welcome any help.

11 Replies

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  • Hi Moley, First of all I can sympathise with how you feel. I personally do find my anxiety gets so much worse when I am fighting a virus off. In fact bad anxiety symptoms warn me if I am getting some sort of physical illness. I think the roller coaster is just part of the whole sad sorry illness that we are afflicted with. I do wish you well and good luck with the cold! xxxx

  • Thanks very much. Your kind thoughts are most appreciated.

  • Hi moley64. Yes, acceptance is not easy. I have said this in recent blogs, but it can be done. It takes courage and perseverance. Acceptance is not "putting up with". It means that you do not add more fear to any fearful symptom or situation. Dr. Weekes in her books calls this "adding second fear". As soon as you feel any sort of fear accept it as part of your illness, go along with it, DO NOT FIGHT IT, just observe it dispassionately, without comment like, Oh dear! it's back again what am I to do this time? Will I ever get rid of it? This adds fear to fear and thus prolongs the attack. We have to slow down those awful little glands ( although useful in certain circumstances) that keep sending adrenalin into our bodies as a result of THE WAY WE THINK! They are useful in helping us from walking under a bus but we misuse them by frightening ourselves with worry about symptoms that can do us no real harm. I assume you have been given the OK by your doctor. A cold with the symptoms it brings will accentuate "nerves", but accept even this. The first part of your blog means that you are testing yourself to see if you can move away to difficult situations. Do not test yourself. Just do it and ACCEPT how you feel while doing it. In regard to your wife. I think I said before that given an explanation of what causes nervous illness most people understand. Will she look at the blogs? I can understand how others feel as I would not want to live with ME when I have a bout of "nerves"!! Good luck in your new endeavours. You will win through if you just ACCEPT. jonathan.

  • Second reply. I was really touched by your blog. I do not know why but for some reason it made be feel particularly anxious and then very panicky. I could feel the adrenalin really start to pump round. I know what you said really make sense but at the same time seems difficult to do.

    In the world outside of anxiety I would consider that I was a fairly intelligent guy. However I feel that I am struggling to get mind focused in a way that is helpful to dealing with anxiety and panic attacks.

    Just over a year ago I had a trauma which was the start of me suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. Out of the blue to me my wife said that she was thinking of leaving me. I had the following day a complete melt down of panic and anxiety. An ambulance was called and I was taken to A&E. My relationship with my wife is very good and she has been very supportive over the last year or so. However and I find this hard to admit to myself is that part of me blames her for the suffering that I have had from anxiety and panic attacks. Did you have a trauma or trigger event that caused you anxiety?

  • Hi jonathan I think that a hard part of dealing with anxiety is the feeling of being alone. An invisible condition that most people do not understand. I am really glad that you responded to my blog.

  • Great thread folks,godd luck & good health to you all. This affliction is a real bummer

    Cheers for now

  • Thanks.

  • Hi moley I dread colds I'm not so bad during the cold the aftermath I used to get the most anxiety I put it down to fighting the cold or flu takes it out of you and you get anxious Jonathan says it if you face anxiety or a panic attack and not do anything but acknowledge the feelings and understand its the adrenaline charging around that are giving you these sensations I found out a while back after two trips to AnE for what turned out to be a panic attacks because I tried to fight them and by doing this they got worse. Notice the sensations coming and accept them I know it's hard but it does help if you do nothing next time will be easier don't expect it to disappear overnight but every time you accept it it weakens the affects the fear of it coming back every night is what's starting it off just feel it coming and say hello your back are you and carry on with what you were doing I know that's the hard bit but you will feel better when the sensations have passed and you didn't pay as much attention to it as usual the next time will get easier all the best hope it gets easier for you like it did for me Mel

  • Hi Melgil thanks for your post. I will work on my reaction to colds which seems to trigger a lot of anxiety and panic. Thanks very much.

  • You should all try a thing called "Binaural Beats", these computer generated sound files are said to massage your brain and produce all sorts of effects, and are excellent for stress/ depression/ anxiety disorders. A binaural beat is created by playing a different tone in each ear through headphones, and the interference pattern between the slightly differing frequencies creates the illusion of a beat. It's completely safe and scientifically proven - google it!!

    If you search the Internet for "binaural beats" you'll quickly find there's a whole industry built on the idea that listening to binaural beats can produce all kinds of desired effects in your brain. It can alter your mood, help you follow a diet or stop smoking, get you pumped up for a competition, calm you down, put you to sleep, enhance your memory, act as an aphrodisiac, cure headaches, and even balance your chakras;-)

  • Thanks will give this a try.

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