Anxiety about health getting bad

[Vanscotland]

Hi,it's 3 30 am and had 3 to 4 hours sleep,not good ,had a problem back in sep went to gp not easy to do as scared,got medication but has not worked ,scared to go back incase it's cancer I've got,trying to pluck up the courage to go today,not easy ,I feel the panic starting to well up every time I think about it,I am so scared of dying which I know is stupid as we all are going to but I just want someone to help me ,I'm lying here crying as I can't cope with the anxiety,not sleeping panic attacks,feeling of dread,headache,I just want to enjoy life which I have not done for a long long time,it's so sad,my mind is on full alert all the time waiting for some symptom to appear and worry me

[carol1221]

Hi Van Scotland, i know how you feel. I have had anxiety and depression from the age of 19. I am now 62. I have been thinking I am dying on and off all those years. It is a horrible feeling. I worry about every symptom I get thinking the worst. I think you should go to your GP again for reassurance that you haven't got cancer and it's only the anxiety. It's not stupid about being scared about dying I think everyone is . I am so like you when you say your mind is on full alert all of the time. You feel as if you are having a brain storm your mind is working so much over time. That's what causes the headaches. I feel as if my neck is going to snap at times because I am so tense. You are not alone so go to your GP and get help. Take care Carol x

[Vanscotland in reply to carol1221]

Thank you it's reasuring to know I'm not the only one ,our gps are extremely busy so I'm awa to stand for an hour before it opens to try and get an appointment,it's the only way we can get one so fingers crossed,my stomach is in knots thinking about it ,so scared,but thank you again it's comforting to know ,it's not easy as you know aswell ,take care x

[Flowerpower_nafas in reply to Vanscotland]

I am the same, understand what you are going through. I'm 68, always worriespd about my health but now over the top with worry after a total thyroidectomy 11 months ago. The recovery has been traumatic and I now have serious anxiety & panic attacks. All about my health. Every symptom scares me. I've been a successful person, got 6 grandchildren but can now barely cope. A worse thing is internal shaking n trembling at night. I wake up with it. I'm on beta blockers for anxiety which help a bit and on sleeping tablets. My life revolves around taking pills to keep me either alive or able to cope a little bit. I find it terrifying. You are not the only one. Take care x Hope you get it sorted & find an answer.

[Vanscotland in reply to Flowerpower_nafas]

Hi, thanks for taking the time to reply and yes I got appointment and got different cream but my mind still has doubts ,this dammed health anxiety ,and I do feel for you it's not nice going through this,now my mind will start thinking did she look right what happens if she missed something I came off my anxiety pills 5 months ago maybe not a good idea ,and until you go through it you don't know how it feels,thinking of you,have you tried therapy ? I was for 11 months helped but it's came back and hit me like a brick wall xx

[kristal]

Am 24 have 3 year old an a 9 month the anxiety just started on my sec baby on Oct is really scary I get numbness and really feel heavy my head and pain alot of dizziness am always a fraid I may have cancer or tumor I just started crying cuz am scare dying and thinking about my lil baby's but is all on my head is the stress cuz I notice only get it went really stressed out or really mad getting better I haven't take no pills jet they gave me some but is like I will take thme if really is bad that I can't control my self

[Vanscotland in reply to kristal]

Hi, I know how you feel that is my biggest fear cancer ,so scared ,I make my self I'll,I just wish they could find a cure for this as it's driving ma and my family insane,as I said been to doctor but the doubts are coming back what happens if she wrong or missed something ,I got different cream but I got reassurance and starting not to believe it ,o God lock me up now lol ,it might be good to take pills for a while as they can help but have you tried therapy ? It helped me cope better but starting to go down the wrong path again ,thinking of you ,take care xx

[ilsonbunny]

Oh bless you. I have suffered panic attacks for nearly 35 yrs. Mainly health anxiety so I know exactly how you feel. Ever twitch every ache or pain is magnified . Its because we are scanning all the time . My fear is heart attack so any palpitating or missed beat is felt like a truck hitting me . I am 63 yr old female. i am off to the gym today. Its through my Gp as a .health referral. I have been before. Really helps. Its us who create the panic and anxiety and only us who can cure it. I have had C B T in the past and that has helped tremendously. You Dont say which part of the world you are from. I have made a self referral to Derbyshire mental health Uk and am waiting to start a mindfullness 12 week course. All free of charge

[Vanscotland in reply to ilsonbunny]

Hi,yes I have had cbt and trauma counselling and was in therapy for 11 months ,that was a 18 months ago,starting to get back in to bad habits,I used to go to gym but house is my haven at the moment ,I'm from North scotland ,and I'm 48 and have done mindfulness as well but as I say it's came back just as bad as it was,that's good you have found ways to control your anxiety,but I find the problem is keeping it under control,I did get doctor today but now my mind is like what if she wrong what if she missed something ,round round ,it goes,thank you for the reply take care xx

[Carmel67 in reply to Vanscotland]

Just read this. This is exactly me. Every thought you have I've had. I'm even 48. My mother's maiden name is Scottish (I'm I'm the U.S.). Maybe we are kindred spirits.

[Vanscotland in reply to Carmel67]

It sounds like we are,we have the same hang ups ,it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling like this

[Hidden]

Firstly, I can relate to you very much. Secondly you lust pluck up courage and go and see your Dr. You are describing Health Anxiety completely. Headaches, fast heart rate, not sleeping, scared of the unknown. Please go and see you Dr and explain how you feel he will not judge you, he will have see all this before. I am now on my 6 weeks of medication, and I went to see my Dr with similar symptoms. I am now feeling a lot better. People on here will not judge you either we know what you are going through. You are building up adrenaline and this causes all sorts of problems around your nervous system.

[Vanscotland in reply to Hidden]

Hi ,ats good you are feeling better,I have had this for 4 years and had therapy etc it never goes away you just learn to live with it,I went to gp today,she said nothing serious and changed my cream,but now I'm thinking what if she is wrong what if she missed something ,so going reassured me for all off minutes you must think I'm off my head lol,just with it would stop,I was on pills for 3 years and came off them 6 months ago maybe not such a good idea ,just feel like I should be able to cope without pills ,thank you for your comments ,hope you keep feeling better,it's nice to know I'm not the only one take care xx

[Flowerpower_nafas]

Thanks for getting back to me. Yes mine is just like yours, fear of cancer. Liver & stomach. Got to face an endoscopy which I hate. Blood tests are all normal but doesn't convince me. I have done CBT through Thrive programme by Rob Kelly. That was good at the time but too expensive £80 per session & you need at least 8. It did work though. I still have the book so going through it on my own with my husband. I've just downloaded a book called 'A Life At Last'. Reading it now. Seems very good I am going to follow it through.

It was the effect of my op that set me back as they got it so wrong. I was in for two weeks and had hypocalcaemia 4 times. Terrified me. Also don't convert the thyroid meds very well. Diagnosed with Hypoparathyroidism. It's not easy to deal with on a daily basis. Freaks me out, all the symptoms, some very similar to acute anxiety which is one of the side effects of it. Blasted hormones!

Keep in touch xx

[Hidden]

Hello

I do not know what the condition you were suffering from and what your GP though you had. All I can say is He would not send you home if you had the possibility of having cancer. If you go back to the Surgery He will try and put your mind at rest.

Do not worry, see your GP and He will try and put your mind at rest, your condition you suffer from sometimes make you feel over sensitized to your bodies feelings

All the best

BOB

[Hidden]

Hello

I do not know what the condition you were suffering from and what your GP though you had. All I can say is He would not send you home if you had the possibility of having cancer. If you go back to the Surgery He will try and put your mind at rest.

Do not worry, see your GP and He will try and put your mind at rest, your condition you suffer from sometimes make you feel over sensitized to your bodies feelings

All the best

BOB

[FoggyMoggy]

Hi, I really understanding what you're saying. I have terrible fear of health problems and fear of dying (and not mad even though we are all going to die, we don't want it to happen prematurely!) I fear cancer (it's in the family) although I've known many friends survive it and also fear heart attacks, like someone above posted, even though have had it checked and said all is OK, there is that creeping doubt. The night before last I called 111 (I've only ever called them once, when they were NHS Direct so proves how long ago that was). I was getting these pains in throat, back of shoulder and at front. Looked on my tablet and hoping it was acid reflux or indigestion but when you start looking online it is fatal (sorry for that word) and so I got alarmed and when phoned 111 just hoping for reassurance but no. I had about 4 phone calls from different people at intervals and when it had passed off I just wanted to go to sleep as I had lost so much sleep but they were all for me coming in to the local hospital to get checked out. I couldn't even have walked downstairs I was so tired let alone get up to go to hopistal for check up. Last doctor was reassuring and said he didn't think it was cardiac, so huge relief.

But I will say at 55, I am less anxious about illness than in my teens, 20s and 30s. The more anxious I feel generally, the more I feel anxious about my health. I did find that anti-depressants helped me (Paroxetine). The anxiety still there but less all-encompassing. I had dropped from 10 mg, to 5 mg to nothing and wondering if stopped taking (after gradual withdrawal) triggered the reason the other night, so started taking 5 mg again!

Blessings X

[Vanscotland in reply to FoggyMoggy]

Thank you ,it has been so reasuring that I am not the only one ,not that I would wish this on my worst enemy ,I know what you mean about looking on the Internet I try and stay away from it as if you look up something it will allways come up with cancer at some point,sorry to hear you had a rough time a couple of nights ago,it's just the cancer thing I'm worried about ,a lot of family members have had it and my 7 year old nephew died from it ,I think that had a big impact on me with what went on at that time ,it was CITALOPRAM I was on and I decided to come off them as wanted to be strong and not live the rest of my life on pills,not as strong as I thought ,beginning to crumble here ,I just wish it would clear up and go away so I can get some peace ,thinking of you ,take care xx

[FoggyMoggy in reply to Vanscotland]

You are definitely not the only one, although it can feel lonely and desolate when you are going through a bad panic or anxiety attack related to illness (or anything). Very sorry to hear about your nephew, I'm not surprised it had a big impact, especially with one so young. I lost my dad to cancer and other cousins and my uncle. The trauma of it could have triggered this fear in you. I remember when I was barely 30, a friend of mine who was in her thirties had a stroke and it triggered terrible anxiety in me (she survived that and breast cancer though she did sadly die in her mid-fifties) . Also when my sister had a dodgy smear, same thing. I worried constantly and looking for books for reassurance just made it worse (though sometimes they can reassure, that's why we look at them!)

Yes, i decided to try and come off my antidepressants as have been on them for six years (I resisted going on them in the first place) and I've put on sooo much weight. But after the incident the other night I've chickened out again

I don't know if you ever try anything to help you sleep. From my own experience this helps as long as you only do it occasionally/sometimes so as not to build up a tolerance to the drug.

Hope you find a more relaxed state of mind soon or something that will be a distraction, something you enjoy to get absorbed in. That helps me, but everyone has different ways of coping.

Blessings x

[Hidden in reply to FoggyMoggy]

I have read through all the posts, and I have a very bad anxiety disorder to the point I feel as if I can't go on feeling like I do.i have been on tablets years ago, and have all the counselling, and even a day hospital, for a year which helped at the time, I have come to the conclusion, that if I fine a new symtom, I go to the doctor and ask him what it is, and then I put my trust in the doctor, and try and forget about it till the next symtom or ailment. Yes I am very embarrassed keep going to the doctor, but I have come to the conclusion, that if the is the way I am and need support , thst is the way it is. I have a tablet phobia due to all the stuff I was on years ago. I find listening to doctor claire weekes on cassette and reading her books helps me after all these years a magic cure is not going to happen , so I rely on the books and tapes to get me through. Sometimes my anxiety is so bad I cannot walk properly and feel dizzy, but in the book it says accept jelly legs and anything your body does to you,I was in the supermarket and felt as weak as anything and felt my heart racing as I had a bad panic attack yesterday morning, and was worried about shopping , but I did it with racing heart and panic feeling I am very tired now, and wonder if I should have gone out at all.

[FoggyMoggy in reply to Hidden]

Kudos to you, Daffodil, for doing it. I'm not a great supporter of 'the feel the fear and do it anyway' school. That can make you feel a failure if you have to escape and back out and for me can reinforce the panics etc. I don't think you (ie people) should beat themselves up if they have to leave/escape when feeling awful. I actually find it empowering to leave and in control - never thought of it like that before until writing it just now but if I stick in a situation that's causing me so much anxiety it reinforces the feeling of trapped, powerlessness and lack of control. It's against all the advice of text books but you have to do what's best for you. Years ago I used to be able to go to London, then I developed a phobia and thought I'd never have been able to go again. If I'd have followed 'feel the fear and do it anyway' going when already in a state it would have reinforced it, but instead I went with a fellow agoraphobic and trusted family member, who promised to back out of I needed to. I decided to go when I was more relaxed, so that when I was in London it was fine.

[Vanscotland in reply to FoggyMoggy]

Thank you,it has lifted me a wee bit knowing I'm not the only one ,I hope you fell better soon ,what did you try for sleeping it seems to be missing as I'm shattered with not sleeping well at all

[Vanscotland in reply to FoggyMoggy]

Hi,thanks for your support ,I was wondering what you used to get some sleep as I'm shattered ,and can't sleep for worrying,I put on weight with mine as well but have now lost it now ,hope you feel better soon,it's an awful thing Health anxiety take care xx

[FoggyMoggy in reply to Vanscotland]

I sometimes take half a Zopiclone. I hate the taste but it tends to give me a deeper sleep. I occasionally take a Diazepam but my GP only prescribes me them because she knows I won;t take them all the time (they would cease to work). I also occasionally take half a Kirklands' Sleep tablet (from internet) - obviously not all at once! Also I get migraines and headaches quite a lot and the meds I take for that can make me sleepy. Hope you find something that helps anyway. xx

[Vanscotland in reply to FoggyMoggy]

Thank you xx

[mistybrooke84]

Sweetie, you're not alone. From time to time, my health anxiety keeps me from sleeping. It's frustrating, scary and further fuels the anxiety. I've conquered this before but have had a relapse the last few months & have really gone through it health anxiety wise. I've made myself go to the doctor even though I've been terrified of it too. Everytime I discover there is nothing wrong with me--even after losing 20 pounds. Yes, anxiety has been so rough to the point of I feared eating for allergic reactions or food poisoning. So stupid, I know. On Christmas Day, I found myself the same way you are now--crying and wanting to be back to my old self. I didn't like how that dark valley felt and have been fighting it since. You sound like a very competent and intelligent person! Which means, you will be able to climb your way out of this! I'm dealing with the same thing you are---always on the lookout for some symptom and worrying over it. It's a bad pattern of thinking that CAN be retrained. It starts with relying on your faith big time and discovering your self confidence again and rebuilding that.

[Vanscotland in reply to mistybrooke84]

O thanks honey,you sound just like me,I could have wrote that post,I just can't seem to dig my self out,now I'm not sure if I actually feel what I have or my mind playing tricks on me as anxiety so high,and I think you are right about the self confidence as I don't have any ,I have just let this take over,I'm glad you are starting to feel better,it's not a nice thing to go through,as you well know,I just hope I start to feel better soon,you speak sensible words,take care,and hopefully we will both come through the other side xx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Vanscotland]

I'm so glad you were able to relate and that my words gave you any inkling of hope. I've felt the same way these last few months--feeling unable to dig yourself out. From my experience, you run to get back on medicine & it backfires on you with some form of nasty side effects or it just doesn't agree with you. It's also confusing to decipher what's real symptoms versus the anxiety symptoms. But from when I conquered this before, once you start to face your fears, you start to conquer them--just try not to overwhelm yourself in facing them all at once lol. That can cause slide backs. But also working really hard on changing your thinking patterns. You can't stop a negative thought always but you can choose a positive thoughts to wash over the negative. Sure, the negative may still be there but so is the positive. Slowly but surely, you start climbing out of the hole. That helps to build your self esteem. Think about it--if you had enough confidence in yourself to sleep at night, you would sleep like a baby most nights. If you can gain enough confidence to do the normal things on life again one by one, you eventually can do them enjoyably again as you relearn self esteem. Never rely on others to feed your self esteem. Dig down deep & learn to find that yourself. Just some things I'm learning right now lol. yes, we will clb out of this and make it through! xx

[Vanscotland in reply to mistybrooke84]

Thanks ,I think you would be great at counciling ,you have a way will words ,and I will have to start to try and think positive ,and help my self ,and hopefully we will come out the other side xx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Vanscotland]

Aww, thank you! You know, some of my friends have said the same thing lol. It's encouraging to me. It takes practice but work at it. It's easier to cave in to the negative thoughts than the positive thoughts. Kinda ironic, eh? Because you would think it would be the opposite! xx

[Vanscotland in reply to mistybrooke84]

O how true ,I just wish there was a switch to switch the negative side off lol ,o my you just have to laugh sometimes xx

[mistybrooke84 in reply to Vanscotland]

I know....an off switch to anxiety would be SWEET! Lol.

[Vanscotland in reply to mistybrooke84]

Either that or brain transplant ! Lol xx

[ciley]

about fear, had it all life,find also not good at self defence, win for yourself is all you can do, find something positive~~