Is crying sometimes healthy? I've not cried for months and I've had ALOT of stress added to my anxiety that has made me very susceptible to that lump in the throat, closing up throat, you know, that feeling of needing to cry but it gets exaggerated. I've refused to cry. But today, some very stressful things ensued when my father in law tried to force me to face a huge fear of mine--one that can and will be conquered but needs to be done in small steps--not jumping from A to Z by the snap of the fingers. He kept me in that uncomfortable zone against my wishes, thinking it was helping me and then told me some very hurtful things that have triggered the whole anxiety response to begin with. Some deeply personal stuff. When I finally got back home, I started crying--I couldn't control it any longer. And I've been crying off and on for a few hours. I stop for a few hours and my husband mentions it again and it triggers me to cry some more. It's like all my anguish is coming out in tears now. Like I've kept it pent up for months. I just don't want it to harm me or make me sick. My chest is kinda right now from all the upsetness and I'm very tense but I'm thinking all that crying will help alleviate my "throat closing" problem since it only came around when I was emotionally bothered or upset. In fact, I've not had that lump in the throat feeling SINCE I've been crying lol. Sure, my throat feels tense and a little sore but that sensation I've had for a few weeks is gone. Any of you ever experienced this? I do think I discovered my main root of what caused my anxiety this year to begin with--family rejection. I didn't realize I've been hurting for this long!! Like, wow, I'm hurt! When people you love dearly and have been around your whole life keep telling you how worthless you are, I guess eventually it can make your self confidence plummet. I remember being told that for the last time nearly a year ago & I broke down crying (I rarely cry) & never felt the same since. Hypochondria began to kick in and whenever the subject of my family came up, I had to avoid it. I was told today my grandmother said some terribly untrue things about me to everyone in my hometown and then went to my then fiancé's family and told them I was not of high enough quality for their son, I have problems and I'm trouble. I've spent my whole life trying to win their love and acceptance by being an overachiever and only this year I have crashed. Could I be on to something here? How do I let this go? I love them SO much but I can't make them love me. I can't be hurt anymore.
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