This is the first time ive joined a forum about my Anxiety but its driving me crazy and think talking to other sufferers may help me, I Have had wave of anxiety on and off now since I was 12 years old, think it started with the break up of my mum and dad! however over the years it past and seemed to go completely until the passing of my father when I was 16, then it came back for a bit and went again for a good number of years, After I left catering college I started working in restaurants and made my way up to a senior level after a few years, and I was given more work and longer hours, that's when it came back this time and hit me really hard, I had been burning the candle at both ends ( trying to hold down the long hours and also trying to have a social life at the same time) this is when I have the first massive panic attack and thought I was going die, I was about 27 at the time, my boss called me an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital on Xmas day, I just collapsed. I felf like I could not take in enough air and my heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to burst!! they told me they could nothing wrong with me and I had just had a panic attack, the following weeks after I took myself to A&E quite a few times through my panic attack, and for some reason they started to become even worse the morning after going out drinking, I would wake up ok and then at some point it would just hit me like a ton of bricks, However they stopped for a few years and now im 37, I don't now why but for some reason they have come back, and I feel crappy everyday now, I feel like I cant take full breaths and like im gonna stop breathing, I know its all in my head but I just cant shake it off, The doctor has given me Sertraline and told me to take 50g a day and I have been refered for CBT, But im scared to take the Tablets as I have never taken any before and am afraid they might make me worse. im sorry its long winded but I kinda helped typing this, For people who have never suffered this illness it really hard to explain it, Its a living hell. Thanks for reading.