I'm stuck in an infinite circle

since September I have been getting worse and worse, I now have a panic attack at least every other day, and when I'm not having one, I just feel numb and cold. Nothing matters to me any more and in this last 8 months I have been too scared to tell anyone what's happening. Its so hard to tell people but at the same time its so hard to keep it to myself, I have tried to tell people but always fail, the words reach the back of my mouth and then just lock there, this usually makes me think how stupid I am for trying. Im scared of what people will think, im scared of myself, im scared of being in public, im scared of life. Ive been trying so hard to go and do things, and meet people but last time i did that i broke down in the middle of a crowd. All i want is to know that someone knows and understands, and wont judge me, this is why I came here

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15 Replies

  • Hi and welcome,you've come to the right place to get some help and advice.We all suffer in one way or another,everyone on this site understands how hard it can be,and nobody will ever judge you.

    Have you seen you gp,to maybe arrange some counselling.

    Hope you get the help you need xxx

  • thanks, how exactly can i organize to go see my gp or get a counsellor, because i don't want anyone else to know

  • Only know how it worked for me.Went to see my doctor,who obviously knows I have anxiety and panic attacks.I told her that I thought some counselling might help me.It was a self referral system,so I rang the number she gave me to arrange an assessment.I was accepted and had my first session last week.It was one on one,not group therapy.So I think your first step is going to see your doctor and try explaining how you feel x

  • Hello,

    Talking to people about how you feel is very difficult I know, ,but by posting on this forum , you have just started on that road !, ,, well done to you !,

    keep talking and you will find lots of very helpful hints from the members of the forum .

    They do not judge, and it also helps them to know they are helping you.

    Most people on the site suffer from the same kind of panic attacks you are experiencing.

    There is nothing to be scared of ! , others here know that feeling.

    I agree with lowtongirl, I think its time for you to speak to your GP.

    Keep posting, you will see theres many more like yourself.

    Ive just been on to you tube ,and found a series of clips from TED+.

    They are all about the different kinds of depression we all suffer ,,,,As many as 1 in 4 of us.

    So your not alone !

    Check out the you tube vids, one or two are from ruby wax the comedienne ,who is a depressive herself.

    I do hope this helps ?.



  • thanks, it means a lot to know someone listens, i will definitely watch those videos because they help me out. It's nice to hear advice from someone who has felt the same, because the fact that they are getting better gives me hope

  • Hello T well ok since September... Can you identify what happened then to start you down this path.... Some of the other posts on this site say the same thing..... Where something happens and the anxiety and panic starts... It could have been something that was building for a while and then it hits due to a trauma of some kind.... Most of us on this site have suffered from one form of anxiety for many years.... some more severe than others... In my case my issues started as a child.... I have been studying CBT therapy for a week or so and have identified a lot of symptoms that relate to my negative image of myself...Keeping your problems to yourself is not the best way to handle them.. Most therapy is verbal ... So you really have to talk it out with someone.... Better to talk to a therapist as they have the educational background to tell you what is wrong... But keep posting on this site if you are comfortable doing so... .As lowtongirl says were here to help... and there are a lot of us on here who have different symptoms attached to our anxiety . steve

  • its strange, i don't know of anything that specifically happened, one of the reasons this has upset me is because i used to have panic attacks and get bullied a lot about 2 years ago but i got a fresh start and came out of it, i thought it was over and wouldn't happen again and i wouldn't let myself believe it was happening again until around January because it's terrifying to know exactly whats coming and how crappy it's gonna feel

  • My heart goes out to you. At first I was so scarred I had to tell everyone. I've slowly started to with draw and not tell anyone when I have a panic attack. I still tell my GP and my therapist. I had to find people i trust or else I would go crazy. Good luck on this Journey.

  • thanks, it means a lot, and i hope you're doing ok

  • Hi and welcome, we all do understand what you are going through.

    I do agree with everyone, you need to see your GP and explain how you feel, if you feel your words get stuck write it down and hand it to the GP when you go in. They can help you and from there the GP can refer you to other things that could help you. Have a look on line at Anxiety Uk and MIND they both explain lots of things about anxiety and the different anxieties people have. Also how they can intermingle into each other. I for one certainly have a mix of different anxieties! I wind myself up sometimes!

    Please do go and see your GP

    Take care and let us know how it goes xx

  • Thanks, it's just that im so scared to go see my GP because i am worried about people finding out

  • I'm seeing my doctor about my awful panic attacks Tuesday and I'm terrified. I've seen countless professionals over the last few years. Had periods of recovery in which life's been good,then terrible times I've needed to be watched in case I overdosed. But I've learnt who I can trust and will help me. At one time like you I had no one. Please don't suffer on your own. Make that doctors appointment if you can.

  • ok, ill try my best, i actually brought up the courage to tell my friend last night, it was around midnight and i couldn't stop shaking so i told him about everything over twitter DMs and he was so nice about it, he didn't seem mad or start treating me different, he was just nice and wanted me to calm down. I wasn't expecting his reaction to be so normal, he calmed me down and i managed to get some sleep. I don't get to see him that much because he lives far away so i cant talk in person but its nice knowing that someone knows and will be there. Im still not perfect, im not saying im cured but until im able to tell anyone else, its good for me and was a big step. Also everyone on here has made me feel way more accepted so thanks everyone for that

  • That's good news. Just chatting will take away some of that inner tension. Keep us informed on how your doing.

  • i will, thanks for listening to me :)

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