Can of Worms

Hi and hello again.... I started a new therapy last week.... Dealing with stored trauma in the brain.... The therapy is EMDR.... It deals with people like myself who cannot rid themselves of emotional traumas that have happened in past situations Long story short.. I and people like me.. cannot separate the memory of a traumatic event from the emotions that go along with the trauma. In (normal) Brain function the brain is supposed to separate these two things and discard the unneeded emotional baggage.. But because my Brain is lacking the chemicals to do this properly... I have stored all the crappy feelings in my Brain for decades... So when a new stressful or traumatic event happens I relive (ALL) the trauma from my past... Making any new stressful situation seems totally unmanageable.. When I realized this was really behind my meltdown(s) It sent me into a bit of a downward spiral... Thinking that I have to now deal with the many many issues I have with the physical and mental abuse I suffered as a child and young adult. I can recall every single shi**ty thing that happened to me. Along with the emotional upheavals as well. So this week has been a very sad one for me... Not really being able to ignore the new reality... that I now have to tramp through.. and learn how to discard.. through therapy.. all the hurtful things in my past.. I wanted to share this with you all... Just in case there are others like me who are living with this problem and don't know it...Wishing us all good mental health in the future x steve

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10 Replies

  • Hi Shadow, Oh sounds interesting this therapy. I have stored trauma from a long time ago and no matter how much cbt I have its not going as to this day I always connect things in the present to the past without even knowing I am. I to suffered abuse as a child and it has affected me in many ways x Its knocked my confidence so I am now to scared to leave the house in case i am judged. I really hope this therapy works for you x Donver xx

  • Hi Dover.. Yes the past really can screw up the present especially if we are not aware of the connection therein.. Yes its going to be a tough slog for you and I. Take it slowly. Don't overload yourself too much.... But look into some form of help... you can't stay locked up in the house... I know that feeling... as I can`t wait for nightfall and my comfy bed... have a good day wishing you good mental health... steve

  • Sounds like you are working really hard on your mental health Steve which is very brave. I hope it helps you xxx

  • Hi shadow,

    Sounds a very interesting therapy. Hope things can now start to move forward.

    I recently discovered my trigger a point in my life around 15 years ago where from that day everything changed.

    Every bit of anxiety, fear of losing control, health anxiety and my general mental well being can all be pointed to that point in time.

    once I was told this everything just clicked into place. Why I have done what iv done during the last 15 years all seems to make sense now.

    I just need to build on this to help me cope. Hope your therapy works. Mine definitely has had a positive impact.

  • Hi mmoo.. and thank you for your response... everything I've read and seen about the therapy looks very positive... I'm hoping it will be a breakthrough for me in my recovery...Thanks again and have a great day. steve...

  • Hi Steve,

    I'm not familiar with the type of therapy you are about to embark on. (Unless it's EMDR which uses eye movement to help people with conditions like PTSD process painful memories.) However I really admire your commitment to getting well and I really hope this is the turning point for you.

    Best Wishes,

  • Just noticed it was me who initially misread the initials and you put EMDR in the first place!!!! Sorry about that - I don't know much about it either but do know a former member of this site had had very good results from it. Good luck, Steve.x

  • Hi Steve,

    I have heard of EMDR went to a seminar where it was being demonstrated.

    I do hope you continue with your therapy and it eases your mind. It is quite traumatic trawling back into your past isn't it. Sorry you have had bad times when you were young.

    Eunice xx

  • Hi I have had EMDR therapy and found if helpful... So helpful that after we did the various early stages (talking parts) I understood so much better what was going in in my head that we never got to the eye part! We spent a lot of sessions trying to pin down a single trauma to focus on in the therapy (guess where that led, yes, to a giant list of all the things which have happenef to me!) But actually altho I got frustrated that we weren't doing anything, we actually were. By the time we were formulating a focused sentence ready for the eye movement stage, months had passed and I just felt do much better that I said I didn't need to do the final bit. I have what will probably be my last session next month.

    This approach of acknowledging trauma, even old old trauma, and seeing what it is doing to you in the present, really helped me. Something about the approach seemed to unlock my brain and help me move on. Hard to explain but I really recommend it! I'm not totally anxiety free (think I would have to be a different person for that!) but I can deal better with present day stresses without it bringing back pain from old events.

  • Lets just call you Magic.... Because you have just done something wonderful....I was hoping to take the therapy in the way you have just described... Thank you so much... I know now I can work through this without completely destroying myself...

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