I have been feeling really gd lately and things haven't seemed to overwhelming!!! I did have this thing where I didn't won't to go away to far ! I didn't mind going out but just not far away or to places I hadn't been to befor ! Now this feeling is starting to go and im even thinking of places to go with the kids that we haven't been to before! I'm no were as bad as I was with all the worring about anything and everything :/!!! Its nice that sometimes I can sit and think how much better I am now to this time last yeah where I was just understanding what all this anxiety was all about and didn't understand why I was feeling like this when all was well in my life ! But by talking about things which isn't something I use to do I now relies considering im only just 30 and have gone through sum bad things like the loss of a gd friend one month through an illnesse then of my best friend a month later ! Finding out i was expecting just for my ex to do a runner ! We did get bk togeather and had 1 more little one but wasn't a nice relationship! My uncle which was sudden a year later then few years later my grandad then my nan then a gd friend again through illness and dealing with being in a abusive relationship which ended up with me and my kids living in a refuge for a long time ! Then bringing up my kids up on my own ! All this since i was 23 I was so low and didn't like to go out on my own and worrying about any little thing I had ! Where as now I just don't really think about it if im not well im not well doesn't mean I have something bad :/ ! and just felt like everything was a struggle and I think if I didn't have my kids to get up to and take care of every day it would of taken me so much longer to get better because I was in a bit of a crapy place but my kids helped me so much because they needed me and still do so I have to get better and better to be there for them! I know I still have a bit to go till I feel my real self but I now can see why all this started! im finally getting there not going to lie feeling real gd # positive! X
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