Dating with anxiety

[sav_11]

How can I not freak out and overthink about the littlest of things when it comes to my relationship. I’ll go through these states where I feel almost manic and I can’t get out of the spirals of feeling like I’m a burden for needing so much assurance. I just worry one day I’ll get to the day where my need for reassurance is too much and that my boyfriend will give up. I don’t wanna be too demanding or too much of a hassle and I can’t stop the feeling that my need to feel secure and reassured is too much. How do I get out of it?

[Hidden]

Hello

Only you can do this and I know we are insecure because of what we deal with with our anxiety but that insecurity can eventually push people away so we need to work on it

From your post it seems like all the reassurance you get you need more but there is only so much people can give us so we have to learn from it to come from within

Tell yourself your BF is with you so why if he does not want to be he is free to go ?

Obviously he does want to be with you

Relationships are difficult and they do not come with a guarantee no matter how long you have been with someone things can still happen so we have to learn to accept and love ourselves and then we are ready for a relationship as we are prepared

You could maybe benefit with some kind of counselling to help you to accept all this

But each day when he is with you , contacting you and so on tell yourself that is all the reassurance you need

I remember when I met my husband as now 27 years ago and I was insecure wondering why he would want to be with me as well as worrying , waiting for him to go and someone said to me

Why not enjoy what you have now and if he does go then you know he was not the person you thought he was so you have lost nothing , it made sense to me and that is what I started to tell myself

Take Care x

[sav_11 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, it’s been hard but it helps to have this community to talk to ❤️

[Anij3443]

Have you considered using a meditation app? It can assist in concentration and focus as well as can possibly give you tools to help handle anxiety. My fave is the Insight App. Its nothing hokey or strange or too out there. I enjoy the guided meditations but even just putting on nature sounds or light music and taking slow, deep breaths can help me.

I think the best place to begin is with a therapist. What is your therapist saying?

[sav_11 in reply to Anij3443]

I’m waiting to get back with my therapist at school since I leave in a few weeks but it’s hard to wait for those weeks to pass.

[Artee]

Wish I could tell you how to get rid of this but my wife has been this way since I met her 46 years ago. Is the steak cooked enough ? Did I disturb you ? Do I look fat in this ? She has absolutey no confidence in herself which stems from way back, but it doesn't stop me loving her. Stop worrying and enjoy the relationship.

[sav_11 in reply to Artee]

Thank you!