Hi haven't been on for a while hope everyone is okay?
I have been up n down alot lately my job getting to me, ill health, the ex a.k.a the enemy and being so in love with someone and without intention i am putting the world on my shoulders onto his. Which makes me constantly worry he'll run as fast as he can in the opposite direction, but he doesn't and I really dont feel like I deserve him and I wonder why he loves me, me being the big train crash of emotions I am :'(. He calls me beautiful when I cry, tells me im strong when im clearly not, he tells me everyday he loves me and I in the midsts of an anxiety attack i just cant handle it!
My anxiety attacks last a minimum of three to four days and I find it so hard to find a reason to smile. But when I do have an anxiety attack that is when I sleep walk. I started with my anxieties on tuesday night. And this morning I woke up in bed fully clothed but feeling fine. The fact that I was fully clothed meant I was up to something last night what though I dont know but it made me realise a pattern. Its always always the last day of an anxiety attack that my night time adventures occur. Does anyone else have these episodes? I know my mind goes into over drive too and I have some wierd wonderful and sometimes frightening dreams. Last night I worked for paddy out of emmerdale in a chip shop and I was serving customers chips in socks and paddy wasnt happy after he climbed up a ladder to climb through the chip shop window and sacked me and made me cry :'(. Needless to say after last night im shattered so I will say goodnight but If anyone does experience anything like the kind of things I do id lovevto hear your stories x