Sleep walking

[wantscontrolofmyOWNlife]

Hi haven't been on for a while hope everyone is okay?

I have been up n down alot lately my job getting to me, ill health, the ex a.k.a the enemy and being so in love with someone and without intention i am putting the world on my shoulders onto his. Which makes me constantly worry he'll run as fast as he can in the opposite direction, but he doesn't and I really dont feel like I deserve him and I wonder why he loves me, me being the big train crash of emotions I am :'(. He calls me beautiful when I cry, tells me im strong when im clearly not, he tells me everyday he loves me and I in the midsts of an anxiety attack i just cant handle it!

My anxiety attacks last a minimum of three to four days and I find it so hard to find a reason to smile. But when I do have an anxiety attack that is when I sleep walk. I started with my anxieties on tuesday night. And this morning I woke up in bed fully clothed but feeling fine. The fact that I was fully clothed meant I was up to something last night what though I dont know but it made me realise a pattern. Its always always the last day of an anxiety attack that my night time adventures occur. Does anyone else have these episodes? I know my mind goes into over drive too and I have some wierd wonderful and sometimes frightening dreams. Last night I worked for paddy out of emmerdale in a chip shop and I was serving customers chips in socks and paddy wasnt happy after he climbed up a ladder to climb through the chip shop window and sacked me and made me cry :'(. Needless to say after last night im shattered so I will say goodnight but If anyone does experience anything like the kind of things I do id lovevto hear your stories x

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Hi xx Dont think we have had the pleasure, its Donver and welcome back

Sounds like you have been busy riding the rollercoaster. I don't know your whole anxiety background but it sounds like you have a genuine lovely bloke there. They are hard to find x I was the same when I met my hubby, I was used to violent men as in past relationships and pushed and pushed my hubby trying to make him prove he would snap or hate me, just run away, and he never has x So maybe you should just accept that he is there to love you, and share that weight xx

I never thought of anxiety lasting in periods of time, but maybe this answers the question as to why I feel some days are brilliant and others I wanna crawl away and hide. I cannot help with the sleepwalking as its something I haven't done although my sister does it when she is very stressed. The doctor told her its because the brain needs to make room so acts out the dream if that makes sense.

Oh and you dream I am sorry but it made me chuckle x it seems your imagination knows no bounds when asleep I find I only dream when I'm truly relaxed and then I know they are coming a few nights running x I dream of silly predicaments that make me chuckle myself

Hope you get a good nights sleep xx Donver xx

[wantscontrolofmyOWNlife]

hi donver its been over four months since I was on last, some of my posts will give you an insight into my world. it has been a roller coaster year I left my controlling husband in February which was possibly the hardest and the easiest thing I've ever done. he still maintains he never did anything wrong which he probably believes but even now he tries to find out where I am what I'm doing and who with all the time. he is my biggest cause for anxiety as I think I should be strong enough to tell him where to go, but for the sake of my kids I don't want to cause an argument so I find myself lying which I hate myself for. I honestly think if I had the guts just to say something id be a lot happier person.

my boyfriend though is truly amazing he works away, and last week he did five days work in four days and travelled through the night to see me and when he got here he found a blubbering mess of emotions and he was happy to listen to my ramblings. there's only one other person i have ever let that close to know the real me my best friend i have such a large extended family but everyone else gets locked out non of them have a clue. but i consider myself lucky that i have my amazing bf and my incredibly wonderful best friend. some people go through life never having just one person like that in their lives. my kids are my world they give me purpose, my bf is my rock which i lean on when i feel like the walls and caving in and my best friend is the crazy lady who distracts me from the rubbish for a while. whats not to feel greatful for? if only things never got to me or life wasn't a huge rubbish dump of bin liners and rats

oh and my dreams and my sleep walking.....i could right a book which would probably be a best seller and people would cry laughing at some of the things my mind comes up with. but that's my personality i make people laugh with my true stories and weird dreams its one of my coping mechanisms xxx