Took monday off work after a crappy weekend and psyched myself up to go to the doctor. Got up early and took the bus but when I got there the surgery was closed for holidays! Yeah, maybe I should have phoned first but I don't like using the phone - at least I got some fresh air Went home, cried and shouted at the furniture because I was mad at my GP for not being there when I needed him - how dare he take 1 week holiday in the year! Sat for ages staring at the phone with sweaty palms and churning stomach, willing myself to dial a few numbers, phoned (hurrah!) around 3 other surgeries close to us - THEY WERE ALL SHUT!! Reached one other, tried it 5 times in 40 minutes and only got engaged tone. Was upset and frustrated. Then my husband came home from work. I told him all about it and we had a great talk and I told him all about my worries and fears. I cried a lot. He was brilliant and hugged me and said I should have talked to him sooner and I only have to ask if I need his help with anything. So now it's thursday and the set back on monday has put me off going to the doc, like it was a sign or something. Sounds a bit silly, I know, but I want to be 'brave and strong' and do this without meds. Aaarrrgh! Have I just chickened out or am I just not ready?
Anyway hope you are all well xxx
Sorry for the novel, just don't have anyone to talk to.