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anxiety/depression

rubensolo profile image
29 Replies

Hi everyone,

New to the forum. I have been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was 15 years old but never attempted to control it or seek help. I am now 31 and my anxiety attacks are more constant and recurrent. Right now I am having problems with my throat (sore throat for longer than 2 weeks) and I am thinking I have throat cancer. Google is not my friend, the more I google my symptoms the more I panic. I have started seeing a counsillor last week and I am hoping she can help me control my emotions and attacks. I just wish I could enjoy the summer without any of these worries and depressive moments in my life.

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rubensolo profile image
rubensolo
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29 Replies
stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805

hi im exactly the same but wont go to my gp i think i have a health anxiety always worried somethings wrong with me and i start to panic im now on kalms and they are taking the edge off it now only had this anxiety for just over 1 week xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

Hi Stacey,

Thanks for your reply. It is good to know I am not the only one,just found the forum today and it seems like a good way to seek advice and comments. I have been to my GP and a private hospital, both just had a quick look at my mouth and throat and just said it is nothing serious however the sore throat continues for a long period. I have been given some pills for anxiety but it is not helping much. Even without using google I just keep thinking the worst case scenario. My grandma was diagnosed with cancer when I was 14 and I remember her lying on her bed agonising in the last few days before her death. That is what I picture constantly and I keep telling myself to be positive but it just doesn't help. I feel sorry for my partner since I am constantly on this state of mind and I can't help it at all.

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

it is so stressful my daughter was on a life supprt last year she is only 16 months old me and my hubby had so much stress and worry.my mom got diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago so i worry i have that always thinking bad things people tell u to try and relax but as you know you just carnt xx try kalms tablets im taking them at the moment it takes the edge off the anxiety but still lingers but not as half as bad xxx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

Thanks for the advice. I have tried kalms but it doesn't help. I feel a very dry mouth and constantly thirsty. I am on holidays home alone since my partner is working, morning are very stressful. I just can't find someone to talk to or understands what I am going through. It is also affecting my appetite and sleeping patterns, I just don't feel hungry and if I eat is because I feel noises in my stomach not because I feel the need to. Waking up at 3 or 4am, just walking around the house trying to remain calm. Very stressful, now that I have started seeing a therapist at least I have taken a step forward to try to fix this issue. I am sorry to hear about your daughter, is she ok now?

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

yes she is fine now thankyou she had pheumonia at 3 weeks old.kalms have helped me with panic attacks but i still have the horrible thourghts.what sort of thourghts do you have xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

It is good to hear your daughter is feeling well now. I am very negative on my issues, I think I will die or I am terminally ill. I think about my family and partner like how I would affect them. I am between my computer and bed right now trying to calm myself down but it is difficult, I am trying not to check google and clear my head by playing video games or going jogging but it doesn't help.

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

i feel exactly the same always thinking about my hubby and children and what they would do without me its horrid isnt it i run my own card business and im sat doing cards right now i dont feel a panic coming on but i have silly thourghts and keep checking my heart rate ect xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

Same with me, I wouldn't be able to work during this state. It is not only trigger by health issues but any other concern such as work, family issues, paying taxes, etc. I am on holidays now which is good otherwise I wouldn't be able to do any work. Jogging clears my head but only when I am doing it, walking and listening to music helps a bit as well as watching comedies online/tv.

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

i find if your doing something the thourghts are still lingering in your head alth you know deep dwn that your fine? do you have the same xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

Yes, when I find something that calms me down negative thoughts will pop into my head. I have lost my appetite as well, don't feel hungry at all and constantly thirsty. I wish there was a quick fix but nothing I try helps to permanently fix my concerns.

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

have you been to the gp for medication this is what im trying to avoid because all keep telling myself is i will beat this altho its so hard eventually we all will beat it xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

Yes I have seen my GP and he has given me propranolol which is supposed to help with anxiety. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow morning since I need some sort of peace of mind, I am hoping I get a positive feedback. I don't like taking pills or any medication but it seems nothing else works.

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

im going to give myself a week or so see how i feel then if im still not feeling right i will go the docs are you worse in the day or on the night xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

I am worse when I can't talk to someone, very late at night when I wake up or early morning when my partner is at work. How about you? Apart from kalms have you try something else?

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply torubensolo

i havent tried anything else at the moment i get it more when im on my own im on my own at this very moment but im ok apart from back ache at the top and tight chest xx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply tostacey1805

When you are working at home, have you try having some noise in the background? either tv or radio?

Jetstar profile image
Jetstar

Hi Rubensolo & Stacey1805,

Welcome both of you to Anxiety Support :)

stacey1805 profile image
stacey1805 in reply toJetstar

thankyou jetstar :)

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply toJetstar

Thanks for the greetings.

Hi

Welcome to you both

I no how health anxiety makes us feel , suffered for years with it & it can be a struggle to believe what we have been told

I now have to remember that it would be more than their jobs were worth to tell us everything was ok if it wasnt , its not easy sometimes , but its true

I have suffered so many sore throats , & taken antibiotics thinking I have an infection , which never really worked , because I hadnt , & now i have come to realize its anxiety

It can make us feel physically ill & have all these symptoms

I can relate , to having a fear of cancer & memories from my childhood of loosing a loved one to cancer

At the moment I have a small cyst & have insisted , even though the doctor is not worried that it is more than a cyst that they let the hospital confirm this

I have to tell myself though that things have changed & back when I lost my Aunty , times have moved on & they are a lot more advanced now in what they are looking for & do

Before joining this site I was always on google , was my worse enemy , could always relate to every symptom on there , infact I would come of Google believing I had something I hadnt started to believe I had until I started looking :o

We will always zoom in on the worse case & answer , its part of this illness

Now we have a thing on here we have called "The non Googling Ban " no one has to join it , but along with some others I did , where we support each other & dont go on Google & talk on here instead

Its worked for me & i hope you both might join us ;)

It certainly doesnt frighten you as much talking to others that understand

If you have been to your GP , dont give up by going back & telling them things are no better , you can always see another GP in the same surgery , who might be better than the last one you saw

If you havnt been to speak to your GP , I would strongly suggest its a good idea

I no we fear what they may think , but that is a fear , they see people like us so many times & if your GP is good , they can be a huge support

Meds is not for everyone , but counselling can be really good & even if you have tried it once & feel it hasn't worked , sometimes people on here have found the second , even the third time round it has !

Lovely to welcome you both on here & keep talking

Love

whywhy

xxx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply to

Thanks for your detailed response. It makes feel more comfortable that I am not the only one. I have been to my GP and a private hospital but it has not given me much peace of mind. I am going to a private hospital again tomorrow but again he may just said it is related to my anxiety rather than looking at it further. I just picture the fact that something is wrong with me and I am just trying to get a confirmation from a doctor. My life has literally stopped, rather than enjoying my holidays I am stuck at home feeling sorry for myself and depressing anyone around me.

in reply torubensolo

You certainly are not the only one & wont be the last either , & i say that with sadness , as i no how this can be

Look around the site when you can ,its a shame as I dont think such as me you can see are posts from months , even some years ago as you would be able to read how many of us have suffered & how we learn to cope

Try & remember that these doctors are trained for years , earn good money to care for us , & even though I no its a struggle to believe anxiety can give us all these symptoms , if they say thats what it is , we have to start having faith & slowly , because it is a slow process , start to change our way of thinking

Good luck , let us no how you go on

xxx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply to

That's exactly what my partner mentioned but the irrational part of me things "he didn't do any further tests" "he may missed something" and the negative thoughts keep popping in. I am also afraid that my anxiety may be camouflaging any actual health issues I may have.

in reply torubensolo

Thats how health anxiety works , hun

Its like two sides of our brain battling with each other

The sensible side & the irrational side

We seem when we on at our worse to let the irrational side win , but with time you will learn with the help of everyone to over come this

If you had serious health issues , not even anxiety would mask them , I used to think the same , but its true

xxx

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply to

Just browsing through the forum as you suggested I found your thread regarding your cyst. How are you coping? any advice on how to calm myself down?

in reply torubensolo

Sorry just seen this , still getting used to the new site myself with the changes

Well to be honest I wont lie of course its worrying me , even though I have to keep remembering the GP wasnt going to do anything till I insisted

I have to stop myself from feeling it as you cant see it , but keep touching it will not help , yet I want to ..so I have to concentrate hard not to

I keep myself busy , & distract my mind as much as I can

Talking to others helps as well

Helping others is a good thing as while you are giving advice , you have to put it into practice as well lol

It takes time though to get yourself to change how you think

Have you noticed but under replies it says "Reply to this " if you press on that before you do reply , then now it comes up in peoples email notifications , so when we go into our emails we can see who has asked or answered a question

Maybe you have noticed it , but just in case , as this is all new , thought it would help

xxx

Hi I can't add to whats been said just wanted to say welcome to the site.

Bev x

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo in reply to

Many thanks for the greetings.

rubensolo profile image
rubensolo

Update:

Just met the doctor again today and he performed an endoscopy through my nose. He just found patches of inflation and mucus stuck in my throat but reassure me that is nothing to worry about just an allergy or air pollution causing it. Now after spending all my holiday money on the private hospital I feel a bit more calm and reassured everything is fine. I will continue seeing the counsillor to try to make sure I try to react in a more positive way next time I get an anxiety attack.

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