Grief/Anxiety/Depression

Hello,

I'm so glad I found this site. I actually feel like I am not alone with these anxiety attacks that I get. I lost my mother in May of this year. I was what you called a Momma's boy. I was very close to her. Watching her suffer this past year took a toll on me. I started feeling dizzy and lightheaded every time I would go visit her at the hospital. It got so severe that I stopped going to the hospital, because I could not handle the dizziness and lightheadedness that followed. I went to the ER several times and my General Doctor ran tests on me. Everything came back normal. Since than my symptoms have gotten better, but are still there. I usually get anxiety when something happens in my life that is negative. I cannot control it. I try and let it be, though. I have been trying to hold off on going to a psychiatrist, because I didn't want to be put on medication, but it is getting to a point where even though I have accepted it, I now feel depressed. Depressed in the sense that I feel tired, no motivation, fearful, and just not happy as I used to be. I am not sure if this is me grieving my mothers loss or if its a mixture of grieving, anxiety, and now depression. Would you guys recommend going to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, first? I know there are some antidepressant medications (SSRI's) that treat both anxiety and depression. Are these safer and or better than muscle relaxers? I don't want to become addicted to any medication as I know this only alleviates symptoms, but doesn't cure them. What are your thoughts?

8 Replies

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  • Sorry for your loss. I Attend councilling on a weekly basis and it does help. To release emotions. My doctor put me on medication for a short period to help me through a dark time of anxiety sometimes we need to help ourselves

  • Hi sruelas25, I am so sorry about the passing of your mother in May. You sound like you were a good son. It is very difficult to watch someone we love suffer. I went through the same thing before my mother passed. Everytime I went to the hospital, I would get so dizzy and lightheaded that I couldn't handle it anymore and put the burden on my only sister.

    We all grieve in different ways, some take longer than others. I had a difficult time because there were a couple other life altering issues in my life at the same time. So yes, I did see a psychiatrist as well as a therapist. Even though you have accepted where these symptoms are coming from, it may still need to be worked through for a short time. You may be able to get around medication by using therapy of different sorts until you heal from your loss.

    As for your question about meds. Usually SSRIs are less addicting then muscle relaxants. Depending on the length of time you are on them. Doctors now a days usually use them as a respite while therapy is at work. I wish you well. Please let us know what you decide and how you are doing.

  • Hello Agora,

    Thanks for the reply! This makes me feel good knowing that I am not the only one that has gone through this. How long did it take for your symptoms to alleviate? Are you still in therapy/medication? Never thought losing a parent would cause this much emotional pain. I thought I was prepared. Oh, was I wrong! I just want to feel somewhat normal again. Thanks again!

  • sruelas, I am no longer on medication, still touch base with my therapist on occasion. At first it was crying every single day, having therapy every day by phone. Having a good therapist helped me see my way again. I learned coping techniques which have helped me pretty much rid myself of anxiety. I still miss my mom but the pain has gotten softer. I had lost my dad years before that in an accident but somehow got through that with the strength of my mom being there. She picked up the pieces of her life and went on for her family. When she passed away there was this empty hole in my life. Grieve as long as it takes for you. There is no right or wrong. Getting help is never a bad idea, going on meds is up to you and your doctor. I wish you my best in healing and going on with your life. Which is what your mother would have wanted. Take care of yourself.

  • Sorry for your loss, I think you should go see someone , . I think it would do more good then anything. Anxiety is a symptom of something deeper like depression it is not a diagnoses in it self. And when I was given meds I would only take them when I really could not shake the anxiety . Other times I would just have them with me just in case it made me feel safer to know there there if I need them and a lot of times I dident need them because I knew they were there . Guess it was a mind over matter thing for me . So yes pls go see someone and keep taking to people on this sight there amazing people on here that will support you and any troubles you have .. .

  • Thank you so much for the encouragement! This website is great. I love all the feedback. It makes me feel "safe", talking to people that are going or have gone through the same thing. I have my first appointment with the psychiatrist on the 30th of this month. I'll also be making an appointment with a therapist. Do you find that the anxiety is less as time goes by or is this something new to you? My fear of medication is being put on something that will not let me function. I don't want to feel drowsy or spaced out. Thanks again!

  • Well the more you talk about things you need to get out you will find that the anxiety does not happen as often. For me my panic attacks went away . Anxiety I have now and then but it's very mild and it's not with bad thoughts . For me with the meds I only took an anxiety med and it said to take 1 to 2 as needed up to 4 times daily but I only took it maybe in the middle of anxiety attack or to sleep . Other wise they were just with me in case.

  • Awesome! Thanks for the feedback.

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