I'm afraid I'm going to have to moan

Since Sunday my ever so supportive husband has not spoken to me and slept downstairs. This is all because he didn't get the hint I didn't want to go out because I was worried about having a panic attack and I couldn't be bothered. He decided to shout at me to shut your f........ Mouth. Well today I plucked up courage to ask him if he was sleeping upstairs tonight, he said he didn't know and now was not the time to discuss things, I said fine. Even though it really is not fine, my anxieties have been near the ceiling, I've been too scared to go out, too scared to eat much ( frightened of choking). Everything is making me anxious. The only positive thing to come out of this is I'm recognising why I'm having these feelings!

Does anyone know where I can get some information for my husband to look at to make him understand? Xxxx

7 Replies

  • Hi Winter

    Some men will never understand , or women if they dont suffer

    You could ask him to look on here

    To be honest in this heat , I would let him sleep downstairs , you will be cooler without someone elses body next to you lol

    I wouldnt even keep asking him either , sorry if I have this wrong but when you talk about your hubby , he sounds like he needs to grow up a bit with all his sulking !

    If you stop fussing as much when he is , he might realise he isnt getting to you & stop all this ,,,,sorry if I am out of line there , it just frustrates me to no how you are suffering & knowing someone who should be supporting you is adding to it

    You are slowly getting there though , I see small changes in you & this is little steps & you are starting to take them


  • Hi Whywhy,

    He never asks me how my day has been, so I don't tell him! I've had to take another propanalol to help me today. I've just cancelled the blind man (kitchen blinds)! He rang to say he would be here in 15mins, my body went noooooooo. So hopefully he is coming on Friday. Xxx

  • O Winter

    I really do think he is one of these men looking for attention

    Do you mind me asking if he is a bit of a controller as from what you say he is coming across that way ...if so its best to ignore

    Expect nothing from him & then you wont be disappointed , I no this is easier said than done , but if you work on it , you can get to think that way

    Dont worry about the blinds , I would feel the same , aim for Friday & think how lovely they will look when they are up

    If you are still taking the recommended dose of propanalol dont beat yourself up , if they are helping you through

    I would concentrate on getting me well at the moment & when you have , because you will , you may have to address your husband

    Like I said , you are doing really well


  • I think he try's to control but doesn't really know how to do it! I think I will try what you said and expect nothing from him and see how it goes!

    It's really hard work trying to get better when there is some one trying to scupper you all the way! Pushing me all the time.

    Anyway I've got a banging headache, I'm going to drink some more water and try to calm down xxxxxxxx

  • Winter get him Dr Claire Weeks book, that says a lot. I really hope you are ok Winter, try not to get put Down or Back. I am thinking of you, as I have family just like your husband. And as whywhy said they do not understand, Lets hope your husband never has anxiety, if he does he may not be lucky enough to get your help.



  • {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

  • Hi winter

    I'm so sorry things are rough for you right now. Last year I was really ill and like you my husband was so unsupportive and downright rude. There's no excuse for him swearing at you. From my own experience I think my husband didn't know what to do or how to cope when I wasn't functioning and taking care of everything. Things came to a head one evening with a horrible comment from him and I stood up to him and gave him some info to read from "mind" which explains depression/anxiety/panics etc and i said he had to stop acting like a child, grow up and help me... It took time but he did finally "get it" and things have improved. I don't know your full circumstances but my advice would be to concentrate on "you" and getting well and let him sulk or whatever else he wishes to do. Dr Claire weeks self help for your nerves is a good book and she explains that if someone says pull yourself together its like saying go cure yourself and if we could cure ourself we would have done it already. She says ask the person "ok so how do I cure myself?" I got through it with the help of a good doctor, this site and dr Claire weeks book. Take care hun and remember "you" are the most important person right now... Focus on getting well again love eve x

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