Ever since I understood that I was just having an anxiety attack caused by stress and being tired (and not having a heart attack or a stroke) things are much better and controlable. I can have that inner conversation and pretty much sort myself out...
But today during a business lunch I totally lost it. It might have been the food, it might have been the fact that I am a bit tired today, it might be because I am trying not to smoke and hadn't had one the whole day, it might have been because I had to pay extra attention to what the person was saying (he was from a different part of town), anyway at one point I really needed water, my head got really warm, my legs got numb, my heart was beating fast and my hands were shaking like a leaf. In summary it was a roller coaster ride like no other.
The good thing was that I didn't think that I was going to die, cause I know I am not sick, just thought I might faint. Which is very different from previous attacks and a step forward. The bad thing is that I just couldn't really finish my meal which was so delicious, such a shame. I pulled through the meal and was very happy, almost elated when I finally managed to get out of the restaurant.
For some reason drinking water helps, and eating fruit as well, and I did have a smoke but on my e-ciggie which is not as bad as the real thing. And off course sharing the experience on this blog also helps a lot, more than anything I must add. So if you are new to the blog, that's my tip for today: write your experience, pour it all out, it might do you some good.
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Little victories making way for the big ones 
Am I Just Me?
That was a big one
