Things can only get better?

It has been very busy on here today which has made me reluctant to put my size thirteens in.

However Bank Holiday was so good on here for me with the fun and the banter that my mood really lifted.Up until 5pm that is.

To give my wife a break from cooking I said to her on Friday "for the next 4 days we will have a take away from Just may have heard of them.......So on Friday evening and Saturday evening and again on Sunday evening we enjoyed our meals.Come Monday evening I order a meal at 5pm because on Tuesday I was due to have a "fasting" blood test which meant I should not eat after 7pm.

I go to the website and order a meal Bang! my bank refuses my debit card transaction.I try again,,,,,,same thing.

Straight on to the bank by phone.At the third attempt I get transferred to Security."Sorry " they say "We thought four transactions to the same company were suspicious so we have temporarily blocked your card,if you are happy with these transactions we will unlock your card"Great says I.Then I look at the clock and it is 7.30pm by now too late for me to order.I had had a light snack at 1pm and that was to be my lot until the nurse called at 9am to do the blood test.

Tuesday morning arrives.The nurse is on time,Fantastic.....NOT........You may have read my previous blogs about nurses calling and being unable to get any blood from me.Now this was the fourth nurse and the 11th attempt to get my blood.She failed after 3 more attempts.

Now I have lost it.....I am raving.......I have lost it big time.i struggle out of bed for the first time in four days and order a taxi to the local hospital.I put a dressing gown over my pyjamas and leave my poor wife and the nurse standing there in amazement.

At the hospital I get my ticket for the blood test,....Number 233......

Number 142 to cubicle 3 says a voice Great ...91 people in front of me.......the place is packed and no seats are available.

By now I have not eaten for 21 hours and I am as weak as a kitten.I lean against the wall my head is spinning I feel sick and a cold sweat is running down my face.

Several nurses walk past and I can see the receptionist giving me a funny look but nothing happens.

Suddenly a little old lady gets off her chair comes over to me and says "You don't look well,would you like my seat"

Now I am 6 feet 3 and weigh 16 stone.Can you imagine how I felt taking that little old ladies seat? But I did take her seat and thanked her profusely.Hooray for little old ladies!!!

Eventually it is my turn to have my blood taken.I explain what has happened to the lady there.She feels my arms.Yes she says I may have to use a different type of needle.Out comes the longest syringe I have ever seen and I feel myself about to faint

Anyway I grit my teeth in goes the needle and out comes the blood all 3 phials of it.At last.I thank her....the ordeal is over.

After 23 hours of fasting £21 lighter in the pocket from taxi fares I arrive back home to my lovely wife who feeds me and puts me back to bed.

And no I still can not ruddy well sleep.

If you have managed to read this then you should be so bored that you'll sleep all night.

And thank you for letting me get it off my chest.No replies needed



12 Replies

  • I know this isnt funny but you do make me laugh the way you describe these things is brilliant and youve cheered me up !! :) :)

  • Glad I cheered you up mimii.

    It's alright for you.I see you was eating spag bog on bank holiday Monday when I was starving!

    BAH !


    xxx :-)


  • I once read a book by Deric Longden. It was called Diana and was about his wife who suffered from a mysterious illness and in the end she died quite young.

    It was a sad subject but written in such a funny way it had me in stitches.

    Your blog is a bit like a short story written by Deric Longden so funny about a serious cheered me up too .Also You say you have trouble sleeping so at least that is two of us.Thanks for the laugh

  • Grogboy

    Bless you , I have read it all & am still awake , you made me laugh if you have read this you should be asleep

    It sounded like a very frustrating day & I feel for you my love

    When one thing after another goes wrong , the anxiety goes up , bet yours did

    Hope you are glad you got it all out & like someone said , yes its serious but you do put a smile on our faces , so thank you for that

    One thing , you missed out what colour you were through out this




  • Hello whywhy perhaps I am learning off you and cookie you both can make me laugh.

    Seriously when that poor nurse failed to get any blood my colour was incandescent with green spots.By the time I got home it was grey with exhaustion.Now I have gone red with embarrassment because some people have actually read my blog.

    I thank you for being one of them

    God bless you



  • No need for the red , course we will read your blog

    Have you asked the doc about all these colours you go :-D

    You are a wonderful member & lots of us are very fond of you , so there is no need for thanks ;-)


  • :-) :-)


  • :-D



  • Yes I have read a book by deric longden Once again it was dealing with a serious subject.

    It was about his elderly mum who had alzheimers but it was written in such a way that my stomach was aching with laughter.

    Grogboy I think you are Deric Longden.If not you should write a book.It could be a best seller.

  • You are too kind olddux

    No I am not deric longden but you have guessed one of my real names!

    Although I probably have a good enough education to be a writer (i got the 12 yards swimming certificate at the age of eighteen),without the spell checker turned on my spilling is absilately atrokus. Thinks allott Grog

  • I have to agree with everyone . I started laughing when you ordered a taxi with your pj on . It takes courage , strength, and some large needles but well done you for getting it done . Keep blogging you have a talent for it .

  • :-)

    i don't know where you get the time to write such nice things.

    Your time should be spent in your coffee house getting everyone's coffee ready.

    By the way mine's a beer capacino. Cheers Grog

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