Horrible recurring thoughts

[AnxiousGal]

Well I've been feeling this way for about 1 1/2 months. I wake up anxious and I have thoughts creep in my head that won't go away and it doesn't help at all. These thoughts just stay in my head and won't leave. I was on antidepressants but my counselor recently took me off of them. I just wish I can feel and be my old self again the thoughts are disgusting and I will NEVER act on them! NEVER! But the thoughts just remain in my head and makes sick to my stomach and makes me want to hurt myself because I'm thinking of them. I feel like a horrible person.

[AntoniaSaysHello]

Speak to your doctor.

Sounds like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.) might be suitable, speak to your doctor.

If you find that the therapist doesn't work for you, ask your doctor if you can see another.

[AntoniaSaysHello]

Part of C.B.T. that I had, is the idea of accepting your thoughts instead of pushing them away or regretting them. If you do this then the thought becomes less of a threat. As you say the thought is something you will never act upon, bearing this in mind its is ok to accept the negative thought without fear that you may act apon it.

The brain is highly creative and everyone thinks good and bad things (shocking things too), it's normal.. but it's when you are compelled to actually act upon these thoughts, which is when you need help.

Try it. You might find the idea of accepting the thought horrible at first, I did, I cringed during the process but I suggest practicing.

It works for me.

Bear in mind that I am not a medical professional, we are all different and I have a milder anxiety.

[AnxiousGal in reply to AntoniaSaysHello]

It's so hard to accept these thoughts. I'm trying to stop these thoughts. They are so horrible. I have a counselor and she told me to fight them. I'm going to tell her more about my thoughts because it's just overwhelming me to the point were I think I'm a horrible and disgusting person. I seriously get sick to my stomach every time I think about it. I can't even say what I'm thinking out loud. I can't even write it out because it's so horrible. I feel so horrible!

[AntoniaSaysHello]

From what you have said - you are not a horrible person, remind yourself of this - its mental illness.

[AnxiousGal in reply to AntoniaSaysHello]

But the thoughts are horrible. I feel like hurting myself every time I think about it.

[AntoniaSaysHello]

Are the horrible thoughts things like murder or rape? Seeing people that mean a lot to you in a tragic or shocking situation and perhaps one that you have initiated?

Wanting to hurt yourself is not healthy, also you are not alone there are many others - let your counsellor know.

[AnxiousGal in reply to AntoniaSaysHello]

The thoughts are horrible sexual thoughts that I will never do. But my mind has been obsessing over this and I get sick to my stomach every time this thought pops in my head I feel disgusting and horrible. I've told my counselor about this but I really didn't get into detail because I'm afraid of what she will say.

[AntoniaSaysHello]

I can appreciate this :-). I tried to indicate the thoughts to the therapist without actually detailing them as i was also afraid. She guessed what the thoughts might be and said that they are common in mental illness and she was so casual about it that I almost felt stupid for not just coming out with them (it took me a couple of sessions to pluck up the courage).

My therapist told me that nothing I could say would shock her - she has heard all sorts. I recommend that you feel free to tell her anything and then she will be more informed to help you. You know it's something you will never act on and you should allow yourself to be reassured and self assured by this :-). Do not miss this opportunity to tell her, it will just make things worse for you in the long run. Feel the relief and be treated.

[AnxiousGal in reply to AntoniaSaysHello]

May I ask what was the thoughts?

[kathm]

I was told by a therapist that thoughts cannot hurt you and it doesnt make you a bad person if a thought comes into your head. I was advised that the more you accept and acknowledge the thought the less scary it becomes, whereas the more you fight it the more power it has. My anxiety symptoms are mainly in my mind and I have the most bizarre thoughts which are to do with thinking and feeling trapped etc. Hope you feel better soon, im struggling at the moment and have been referred for CBT x

[nena]

Agree with the two answers above. By confronting and speaking about them, you accept they exist, but are only thoughts and therefore will not become reality. You should talk about them when you are ready. It will probably be a relief when you finally speak about them. Good luck

[AntoniaSaysHello]

Incest; Coming home to find loves ones mutilated and hung by the neck; stabbing people.

All upsetting and frustrating.

I questioned whether I was an psychopath at one point, but I knew that I'm a good person and often help to resolve people's problems. I enjoy taking care of loved ones helping them achieve or get better (I love removing splintters!!).. it was completely opposite to my character and it turned out to be OCD.

OCD finds the worst possible outcome and threatens you with it.

Kathm is virtually quoting the therapist I had! Good stuff!

[Foggyandconfused in reply to AntoniaSaysHello]

This reply really helped me, thanks Antoniasayshello