Newbie so bear with me- is this anxiety? - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

46,153 members46,606 posts

Newbie so bear with me- is this anxiety?


So I feel so under pressure to be everything to everybody- perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect employee, perfect daughter and have a nice house, nice car etc. etc I feel weak and like I have failed if I don't continually improve all aspects of my life. II never sit still and always strive to be better- is this anxiety? I am constantly tired and have regular dizzy spells. What do you think?

10 Replies


It sounds like you want to much, want to be perfect, want the perfect house car etc. now that sure will cause anxiety/ depression, wipe us out etc

Expecting ourselves to be perfect is also, a sure fire way of getting us anxious depressed etc.

Slow down, say I know its not perfect but its good enough, sit down care for yourself, be kind to yourself, give yourself a cuddle, none of us are perfect and our partners still love us, it really is ok to be normal.

Lessen our wants, know they cause unhappiness, lessen our desires, they wont make us happy, dont judge ourselves or others, we are all just struggling to get on in life, make do with what we got, and be thankfull for what we have, its just another way of looking at things, and it make us happier.

Wish you well




i hi. same as baylian, you most slow down ,you nearly give me a heart attack reading it,you will certainly get anxiety if you don't, please be happy with what you have achieved in life, you don't have to achieve perfection in everything you do to have a happy life. just take a moment in your busy life to chill out and relax, could get rid of your anxiety as well.take care.xx

Sounds like anxiety to me, perfectionism has a big part to play, thinking we are failing when the biggest judge is us.

I feel in such a catch 22. I know that it's me who is piling the pressure to be all things to all men but if I do try and stop I get anxious because everyone has come to expect me to be on top of everything all the time. I know I am really fortunate to have the life I have and that's why I work so hard to make it perfect. I am not keen on medication but was wondering if some psychologist help is worth trying. Thanks for your responses so far- I can't really talk to any friends or family about it as I don't think they would know what to do as I am put up this in control persona. The best analogy I can think of is the swan who looks so calm and collected to everyone looking but underneath the water my legs are flapping like crazy to stay afloat!

Hidden in reply to august1982

I'm the same august,

What I've done recently is just start leaving little things at first, and ask gently if one of the family could just help out, saying maybe " could you just do that for me love "

Wouldn't it be lovely if you could give me a hand today :-)

If they say its your job.............then your being used, taken for a ride, and that wont help you at all.

No use moaning either, just smile get that swan out of the river, lift one leg, head under your wing and go to sleep, and see how they manage. Deep breath let it out slowly. :-)

I'd say some CBT off the doctor would be a good start, its available on the NHS free too.

wishing you every success



agora in reply to Hidden

Baylien, great post, but CBT is not available on the NHS in every County of the UK and has never been offered to me in Surrey.

I feel exactly the same as you and I have anxiety and I am going to CBT and it does help. You realise that you put too much pressure on yourself and that's a good start. I am not on meds either and I have severe anxiety as I want to tackle the problem and not mask it. Don't know if im doing the right thing but I am hoping I am. Good luck with trying to be less perfect and believe me even if you put a little less pressure on yourself it does make you feel much better.

Good luck and hope you feel better soon x x x

Thank you so much for all your responses. I am going on holiday in 2 weeks and going to see if that helps me and if I still feel the same after that then I think I am going to go to the Dr's for a referral.


Sounds like this:

You may find that going on holiday helps, but then your symptoms come back soon after you're back. I speak from experience.

You may also like...