Why do I bother

Why do I bother

Evening guys for those of you that keep up with my blogs will know I was meant to be going out tonight. Well sadly I've been let down and it's proper peed me off. We have had this planned for over a week and I've been waiting about all day for my friend to text with the details and when I finally here from him I get can't make it tonight maybe tomorrow. Well shows how much he listens as we have other plans for tomorrow. I really don't know why I bother sometimes I go out of my way to always stick to arrangements and try to keep everyone happy. Why is it people always seem to leave me waiting. So I'm now stuck in doors tonight in a shocking mood feeling like a proper idiot as I've actually been looking forwards to this today. Why I've been left waiting till 20:00 to be told this I don't know.

Oh well shouldn't really be surprise the way my life's been going this last few months. Really starting to loose the will to continue caring. It just feels like because I'm actually I nice guy who will do anything for the people I consider friends and that I'm fairly easy going and don't usually let things bother me that people just seem to mess me about and treat me like an idiot.

Although I've been having a giggle on here today (read muffins blog) I've been struggling with all the stuff with my ex and I was hoping tonight would distract me for a few hours. Now all I've got is the night to be stuck with my thoughts this should be fun.

Hope everyones Saturday night is going better than mine.

25 Replies

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  • Sorry to hear that you've been let down. That's never good. :( Hopefully the muffin fun will continue into the evening or perhaps watch your favourite film or read a book? Try to have some fun.

    Best wishes.

  • Yeah that's my plan just gonna chill with a film.

  • Good. Enjoy your film. :)

  • Awww Will

    Bless ya. Know how you feel. Was gona see my mate today, she let me down at the last min. Same as you with the why bother caring. Dont feel like i can rely or trust anyone. Seem to take advantage of my good nature, and now i just wana switch off from my feelings, and shout "screw you" to everyone.

    Air your thoughts on here. We can have a moan about the whole world:-) x

  • That's was the fury thing I wanted to do was just shout screw you to everyone. You hit the nail on the head there.

    It's annoying ain't it when you feel constantly taken advantage of. What did you end up doing with your day?

  • I ended up going shopping................exciting i know. Just reading about you saying about analysing everything.............thats part of the norm. I do the same. My ex was treat like crap from his previous ex's. I have treat him right but got the brunt of everything. That is what i find difficult to come to terms with.x

  • Did you get anything nice?

    The thing I've struggled with is that everything seemed fine then one day bam it was over and I'm still not sure what went wrong. And I'm still do madly in love with her it hurts. Just struggling to move on from her think its going to take me a very long time to do just that

  • Nah just got food..................its not easy is it. This guy was my first love, we lost contact for 20 odd years, and then hey presto he contacts me. Helped him with everything. Its a case of taking it day by day, until you can start walking in bigger steps. No-one can tell you how to go about things......................just be there for you. I have been reading up on things today. I do believe he is just overwhelmed and pushing me away.................but that doesnt help me and i dont deserve it. It will take as long as it takes for you. Dont be alone dealing it with tho. We are here for you. x

  • Thank you I'm trying to keep a brave face on things, but I have days like today were its hard. Honestly think she was my first love think that's what's making it hard. There's a small part of me that thinks she's pushed me away because certain things weren't easy between us and it was a very intense and overwhelming relationship. I'm probably wrong will probably never know.

  • It doesnt matter whether things are not easy. To me a relationship is where you work at things, and do your damn hardest to sort things. Nothing is easy.

  • Yeah I know as I said I'm probably wrong about things. Just hoping I suppose or stupid one of the two lol.

    Hope your doing ok.

  • Its easy to say dont analyse, but we do..............i am ok, just keep doing a little of my analysing:-) x

  • Yeah it's advise I'd give someone the same advise if it was me. As you easier said than done.

    Yeah it's hard not to ain't it. You doing much else with your evening?

  • O willie /spotted Dick ;-)

    I am sorry you have been let down & I can feel your disappointment

    I don't no why people are like this either or feel its ok to leave it till the last minute

    May be you are right , its because we are to nice , but you no what I cant be any other & neither do I want to & I think you should continue been nice , just don't let people take advantage (which can be hard but comes with practice)

    I have so many times , said I am not going to be this way that way , I will start not been there , I wont help , but its my nature , yes I get hurt , but I am me

    As life has gone on though I have people around me now that love me & the reason they do is because I am like I am , they don't use me , or let me down , they love me un conditionally , you to will eventually get all this as well , its just crap when you feel you have been s--t on from a great height "

    So ok you have drawn the short straw then , & are stuck with us :-o

    Could be worse , not sure how , let me think about that :-D

    love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • It just annoys me if I make plan an cant make it I let people know ASAP and then feel guilty for not being able to make it. If I'd even told earlier in the day of have the humo, but I'd of understood. I didn't cook dinner because I thought I was going out so had to order a tale away and didn't enjoy it. Now I in a bad mood and my head is doing what it does and analysing my entire relationship with my ex. So not only am I angry I'm now on the emotional roller coaster.

    Yeah could be worse I could har syphalis lol.

    How's your evening going how was the other will?

  • O dear , we are a upset Willy tonight , but I no how you feel , I have been there

    Don't be analysing you ex , will just make you feel worse & when we do , we get it all wrong

    I am saving my other Will till later ;-)

    My guilty pleasure :-/

    xxx

  • Yeah think it's a culmination of this week it being the weekend which is alway tough and being let down tonight. I try not to, but my brain doesn't like to listen. I think you know how that feels.

    You'll make me jealous thought unwashed your guilty pleasure hahaha.

    How was your daughter?

  • Well sorry , but it really is , that's why I am saving it for as long as I can ;-)

    Was lovely having my daughter round both my girls understand me , I am lucky , we always have a laugh

    I went from it been an all girl house & talking girly things all day to now there are more males

    :-o

    Now its football all the time , so I do enjoy it when they visit

    The eldest one has a very full on job , plus a daughter & she lives futhur away , I love them both as much but the eldest has my personality & we laugh at the same things , I miss her , but at the end of the month she is coming over to see me

    Infact she said she would come because my son is going away with the GF for his BD , so she knew I would be fretting :-o

    What are you doing watching a film ?

    You have tomorrow & that's family , so you should have a good time :-)

    XXXX

  • Really happy for you that you enjoyed today with your daughter :-)

    I'm used to being surrounded by women was always the only boy lol

    Watching a tv show called revolution you heard of it?

    Yeah hopefully will try not to miss a certain someone while I'm out probably won't succeed though. Sorry I'm being a bit of a sap tonight :)

  • Sorry Will

    Its took me a while , but I had to give in I waited all night & then POW , I have watched my guilty secret , was worth it ;-)

    So I will reply now :-D

    No not heard of the revolution , I think we may be in to different programes :-/

    no you are not a sap , you are disappointed & you have every right to be , I would to

    I do hope its going to be a better day for you tomorrow

    xxxxxxxxx

  • Glad you enjoyed your guilty pleasure.

    Yeah looks that way. Its not a bad show.

    Yeah same here. This is making me reconsider drinking though not sure if me feeling like this and drink will work lol.

  • I am glad I enjoyed it to :-D

    Hope Will Is in cheerful mood today

    I have everything crossed for you ;-)

    xxx

  • Thanks whywhy/moist vanilla sponge. Not really still not feeling great woke up still feeling down. So I've stayed in bed watching tv.

    Keep everything crossed though for my mood to improve.

    You ok?

  • I know exactly how you feel Willrich. I to make friends and arrangements a priority in my life but most of my friends don't seem to feel the same.

    I have a friend who I go to bingo with every Monday. But she is now making excuses not to go. I said, half jokingly, that she must be bored with my company! She said don't be daft I'm not. But for the last 3 weeks she has either had her grandkids, had sky man coming to fix her tv or had visitors. I seem to be bottom on her list of priorities. As I live on my own I rely a lot on the company of friends. When they let me down I feel disappointed and lonely and annoyed. You are not alone!

    Bev x

  • Thanks muffin. Think my friends letting me down was just the final straw I'm not bothered he couldn't make it. It's just I was looking forward to a distraction. I'm just having a hard time tonight that's all. Finding it hard to think about anything other than my ex. Oh well should try and sleep I'll speak to my muffin commander and the rest of the minions tomorrow. Night

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