Annoying myself

Monday is here and my mood has been ok for the most part today. My stomach and chest still feels like they've been tied in knots and after last nights crap sleep I'm really tired which doesn't help things.

Still feeling a bit down on myself this whole thing hasn't done wonders for my confidence which has never been great. It just feels like whenever I find something in my life that makes me happy something happens to ruin it. I'm trying to think and be positive, but it's hard when nothing seems to be going right for me at the mo.

I know there are a lot worse things in life than what's caused me to feel this way, but this is consuming me right now and I can't seem to get past it. If anything in the last few days it gotten worse.

Think it seems to be the topic today as others seen to be feeling the sane way, but I'm starting to get on my own nerves now. I just can't snap out of it. I try to occupy my self with things I used to enjoy, but it doesn't help and I'm left feeling lost.

I don't know anymore if I honest. Just glad I found this site as it a good place to come and vent and the people on here are so supportive. Just hope I'm not annoying anyone as much as I'm annoying myself.

30 tomorrow

Hope everyone is having a better Monday.

[Hidden]

Hi Will

As you say, I think we all feel like that at the min...... I feel like Im repeating the same crap....

Its hard and I still think youre doing great , even though it dont feel like that to you.....

Just try take it day by day, its all youy can do at the min...

luv Ker xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah that's what I'm trying to do.

You doing ok today?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

not really but trying to be positive.... ive got too much time on my hands at the min, thats my prob.... but not in a fit state to get full time work....

trying really hard to motivate myself to create a hat,,,, but its not working

Ex text last night and said, I hope we both can be happy..... so i was childish and said, you just got in from dating?? stupid I know but I feel so hurt...... I said I really dont like you right now, so I think its best you dont text.....

Its crap Will but unfortunately, we've go thorugh these stages!!

xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Same as me then.

Yeah I can imagen that's hard that your stick between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Just give yourself some time I'm sure the motivation will come.

Sorry to hear that. Think it's best that you both just give each other space. I know that's rich coming from me, but that's why I'm doing my upmost not to text mine and I'm sort of glad she isn't texting me.

Yeah it proper sucks.

Hope you mood improves

[Hidden]

Hi Will

Keep smiling & say Hi

Happy Birthday for tomorrow

I wont ask you what you are hoping for

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Couldn't really manage it today was either on site or driving to a job and I work with blokes think they might of got a bit worried if I did it to them.

Yeah think we know what I'd like the wally that I am.

It the euro millions draw tomorrow. So that would be nice too lol

How's your day been

[BriarRose in reply to Hidden]

Take care, Will - hope you have more luck with the Euro millions than I ever have! I have so little luck with lottery, I'm half afraid to check my tickets in case it says I owe Camelot £5m LOL!

Hope you manage to enjoy your birthday!

Love

Rose

xxxx

[Hidden in reply to BriarRose]

Can relate to that , something would happen like that to me as well

xxxx

[BriarRose in reply to Hidden]

ROFL!!!! xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

O no , not blokes , that's not a good idea , unless you fancy a change

If you win tomorrow , are you sharing ? I will even smile at you if you did

No you are not a wally

My day has been the normal well what ever normal is

xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Nah I like my women to much

Yeah I'm sure I could throw a few quid around. Maybe I could take you lot out on the town lol. Yay a smile

Well maybe a little bit of a wally

Have you enjoyed your normal day?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

OK got that you like women

You could take us round town , one slight problem with me though is I don't leave the house & no you cant come here , I don't let people in ...so you are going to have to think again my little willy

Yes I have enjoyed my normal day , thank you

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

We could go to a pub with wifi and set up a Skype chat with you so it would be like you was there. How does that sound?

Oi less of the little hahahahahahahahaha

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

little Willie , brill idea , that sounds perfect

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

See I've thought of everything. You could be in the pub with us while at home ironing hehe

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sounding even better now

You are so thoughtful little willie

xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's me thoughtful willie. That's what my ex said to as she broke up with me hahaha

What's whywhy up to this evening.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

lol you are always asking me what I am up to

Just had a migraine , flashing lights , like been at a disco or what I remember of them

Now the headache , which can last 3 days

So not that good , little thoughtful will

I have noticed you are getting a little harem of women on here now

xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Just like making conversation and also like to know your doing ok.

Sorry to hear that sending you get well thoughts and of course a get well hug (((((((((((get well hug))))))))))

That's me thoughtful to a fault some might say.

Yeah never had this much luck with the ladies hahaha.

I'm in bed now with a bit of game of thrones. Lets see if some sex and violence will lighten the mood lol

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the hug

Stop pulling yourself down , you just have been picking the wrong ones , it will change

Not sure if sex & violence would do it for me but if it helps you well ...

xxxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Your welcome

Yeah looks that way sadly thought I'd found the right one.

Didn't really help. So watching arrow instead.

Gonna say night. Hope your headache doesn't linger.

[Hidden]

Happy Birthday tomoz

On my 30th, I was driving to work it was a sunny day, and suddenly I burst into tears lol, I felt like your feeling , I had lost what I thought was my soul mate girlfriend, was run down, disillusioned with my job, the whole world, I gave up.

Took me 6 years to get over her, funny I saw her the other day for the first time in 23 years. God, what did I see in her, she had none of the traits I so love in my now wife.

She was a user, she didn't love me.

Whenever we get anxious, whatever, we sit............... look DEEPLY into it, see it without all the preconcieved ideas our minds add to reality, the needing, the wanting, see it for what it is, its a beautiful thing, and will save you 23 yrs of suffering too.

There's someone special out there for you, open your heart, lessen your needs, wants, and take the first step, it really is wonderfull, all of it, see it with a new born babies eyes, its all ok.

Crank the volume up................ and Hit the link, hope its your type of music

youtube.com/watch?v=S63YRJp...(Not working as expected?)

B

xxx

[Cookster99]

Hi there you,

It must be that Monday feeling, same shit, different week lol, try to do it a day at a time but it's not working. Bit like myself lol

Unlike anne, I've managed to make a hat. It's a brown paper bag hat, I may paint it pink and see if it cheers me up

I always get depressed around my B Day, always makes me think of how little I've achieved. Well that's enough of me being miserable and unhelpful

I hope your mood picks up soon mate xxx Cookie xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Well that cheered me up............. Im easily pleased really!!

I may pinch your idea!!

xx

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

Lol, it's got a patent, you'll owe me mega bucks

My OH is really good at knitting and crochet, I wish I had the patience, hence the paper bag hat, u never know, it may catch on xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

you just never know.............x

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

If you lived where I do, believe me you'd see worse lol, cottage industry Anne, u go get the bags lol and I'll paint them, tucked safely away in my nest

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

I've got a hat similar its made out of tin foil it protects me from the aliens

Always enjoyed bdays up until this one I'm just thinking about what I've lost and what I had planned for this year and its all been taken from me.

How is my lesbi friend cookie?

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

Your lesbian mucker is lying in bed eating peanut butter from a jar with her finger. nom nom.

Do you wear a paper hat over the tin foil hat to trick them, I would

Try and have a good day tomorrow mate, I know it will be upsetting but I'm sure things happen for a reason. I wish you all the best xxx

I've just wiped my finger on the duvet, what a minger, it's covered in fag ash too lol xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Mmmm peanut butter crunchy or smooth?

Nope I got a hat with goofy ears I look well cool in it.

I will try will be workin so that helps keep my brain busy for a few hours apparently mum and niece have arranged a surprise for me so got that to look forward to

Oh no will you get in trouble with the OH?

[Cookster99]

Crunchy of course., washed down with apple soda stream.

Ohhhh a surprise, that's something for you to look forward to. Lucky you x

In trouble for the duvet, nah, I'll change it and Hoover quick before she comes home, make it look like I've done something today instead of laying in bed watching documenrty on you tube lol xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Oooh you do know how to push the boat out

Yeah not sure if I should e excited or affraid

I've got visions of you leaving it to the last five mins an running around hoovering and and changing the sheets lol.

Maybe you should get whywhy round she might iron the pillow cases for you or something hahaha

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

Lol, I think whywhy would iron out my creases, never mind the pillowcase lol. I don't iron bedding, or much else.

Your right about the timing ill do it half hour before so I'm not all red and flustered or she may think I've been doing more than housework

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Nope you've lost me what else would you be doing? Keep telling you lot I'm sweet and innocent hahaha

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

I keep peanut butter by my bed and eat it with my fingers, who knows what else I'd be doing lol

You bring out the pervert in me :-@ lol xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

What sweet innocent me don't know why that is? x-)

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

My creases are so sharp , you have to be careful not to cut yourself

And of course I iron bedding , before anyone asks

XXX

[Hidden]

Hi Will sorry you feel bad today, so do I, in fact think a lot of us do by the sound of it...thinking of you, hope you feel better soon...

I too am sick of myself, going on , hopefully it don't last forever

Sue xx

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

I think we all need a holiday, we've burnt ourselves out with worry and stress. It goes for a while and seems to come back with a vengeance.

I need a holiday from myself, I wish they made a pill to induce a coma, I'd test that one out xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

I really need a holiday might go as annoy my brother in Dubai

Or maybe something like what they do in the film total reacall. Have you seen it if not it will mean bugger all lol

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

How cool would that be, getting away without leaving the house. Ive seen the one with arnie, not the new one. There are certain remakes I won't watch out of principle. That being I'm old and stuck in my ways lol xxx

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Yep just connect up to a machine and your on a beach surround by bikini clad women

Tried watching the new one twice and fell asleep both times sort of sayd how good it is really lol.

I want to see the evil dead remake do love the original though

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

I see the evil dead every morning when I look in the mirror.

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Hey don't be so harsh on yourself I bet it's not that bad

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

I meant when my OH is standing behind me lol what u got planned for tonight then will? X

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

Tut tut I'll tell on you lol.

Not a lot just had dinner then I'm thinking early night with a bit of TV. What about you?

[Cookster99 in reply to Hidden]

The same only minus the dinner, filled myself up with peanut butter lol

I'll wish you a goodnight and happy birthday for tomorrow. I better go and change duvet lol. Enjoy your evening xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah seems to be about today the ba mood thing. Hopefully I will think I'm gonna have a crap few weeks if I'm honest.

I'm sure it won't I'm sure we will all be on here one day saying how awesome we all feel

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I do hope so Will, for all of us...I actually do believe we will one day..

Surely you can only feel so bad for so long and things have to change I'm hoping for us all

sue

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

They will I've got to believe that or I'll go mad hahahahaha

[wendypartridge]

i can relate to your feelings and to the the sadness in your blog.. have you read 'peace for your nerves 'by dr Claire weeks ' it may help.. brilliant tool to use on your road to recovery. I used to really love listening to music.. now i look at my cd player with resentment ..(as if it's the cd players fault hahah). I hope you feel better soon..