Just venting no obligation to respond but if you can I need help

[Lifesearching]

I’m just typing because I want to be heard, but can’t get the support I need from therapy. I had so many unanswered messages and it almost felt like this woman tried to mess with my emotions on purpose (the old therapist). By being here in the support group I refuse to go back to her therapy office because I know she’s praying my life goes to shit without her around anymore and I crawl back for her help.

I just don’t know who to trust anymore. My career life is changing for the positive and I’m so grateful, but I’m weary that some people close to me aren’t completely in my corner or happy for me at all. I’m honestly worried they would take opportunities to either sabotage me or betray in some way to set me back to another rock bottom.

I don’t feel my discernment is strong enough on my own to figure out who is fake around me because I love these people so much and they gained my trust. However Im aware some people can wear a mask. I can’t take the stress and seriously considering cutting everybody off. I know they say you attract wha you think and feel, but I can ignore the challenges of life too and I’m struggling a lot.

[Hidden]

Life throws alot of things at us, most is bad with a few good things. You call your job a career and you can afford therapy. These are good things, your smart/intelligent and you can afford an expensive thing....

Therapy and therapists are not under your full control. What would therapy be if you controlled it? And what kind of therapy do you want or maybe need? Emotions can/will come out (we're those stupid human things) so sometimes you/we need to let emotions out, but how and why is under your/our control.

Have you talked to this therapist about what you want or need for therapy? And what is her answer?

Who are you typing about in your post? Co-workers, bosses, friends&family?

As a bottom note.... i am not a the-rapist or a smart human so help is not something i try to or can do. So answer my questions if you want to. I am also new to this healthunlocked thing so i'm trying to learn it so another reply from me will be slow and maybe up to a day...

[Lifesearching in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for responding 🙏🏽

[Existing in reply to Hidden]

I like that you tried, and you don't sound stupid, so I'm not sure why you described yourself as "not a smart person". There are so many different ways of looking and thinking about things that are beyond just test taking. Be nice to yourself. You sound nice. 🤗

[blackcat64013]

Hi,Reading between your lines, I think there are two main questions to consider:

1. How are you handling the experiences of your illness?

2. How are you handling this experience of therapy?🤔

The illness factor is more than just about coping day to day. It includes how our thoughts and feelings are impacted by "faulty" thinking giving rise to the diagnosis.

Therapy sessions by nature, look at our thought processes which drive the emotions and feelings plus decision making.

I agree with the previous comments that before you leave the therapist, a conversation about style of therapy and its effects on you might get you both back on the same page.

Hiccups in the therapeutic relationship are not uncommon and if possible, problems need to be sorted.

You may expect the same situation to occur with a new therapist.

[Lifesearching in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you so much for responding 🙏🏽

[Hidden]

Hi. Give yourself some credit! Apparently you are aware & continue moving forward. I don't have a lot to offer only encouraging words. Young lady you got this. Do not let your emotions take over your logical self.

Our thoughts create our reality.

Sending you hugs via the Internet

[Lifesearching in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much🥺💞🙏🏽🌸it’s not been easy

[Existing]

Hi, I do have some professional background in this field, but am here struggling with my own mental health issues too, so I'm not trying to offer more than my opinion here. I relate to the trust and other things you mentioned . But your comments about your therapist, and wishing you bad will, that doesn't sound reasonable to me. And as I read further, I'm wondering if anyone has ever mentioned 'borderline personality disorder' to you, or if you've ever looked into 'dialectic behavioral therapy' (DBT). They might be worth looking into.

[Lifesearching in reply to Existing]

I’m not sure, I have a lot of emotional baggage and lingering issues from my past but thank you for responding..I used to have a lot of anger so idk if it’s bipolar to be honest