I can't talk to anyone

[SadieAmelia]

I am one of the biggest introverts on this planet, I swear. It started when I was in elementary school. I remember being terrified of every adult and kid in my grade, and that fear just grew bigger and bigger, and now I'm an adult who can't talk to anyone. It's so frustrating because I want to be someone who people can converse with. It's not like I hate everyone and don't want to talk to people; I am just so terrified. It's gotten to the point where I genuinely have no friends and I'm starting to struggle with talking to my own family members, even the family members I feel safest with, because some aren't the greatest who I should feel safe talking to but I'm just so in my head about saying the perfect thing and reading their body language to see if my presence is bothering them. I hate how ridiculously hard it has gotten for me to talk to people. Part of me truly believes it is because I am an idiot who has nothing important to say and should not speak because I am lesser than anyone I am talking to and I don't want them to see that I am a phony, if that makes sense. The sad thing is I have a lot of interesting thoughts and opinions but when you put me in front of someone and they ask me anything about anything, I am so stuck in a state of fear that I freeze and all I can push out is some one-word response. Idk, I was having a hard time talking with people today and just put all of the pressure on myself and it just put me in a dark place. I am sick and tired of not being able to speak to people but I don't know what to do or how to help myself here. I have been stuck in this for more than 10 years of my life. It's easier to post on here than anything else because I can still feel invisible and safe; there is no pressure. But out in the world i'm screwed.

[Kainan]

Hi! I think the fact that you just introduced yourself on here is a great way to reach out. And that could be something you can do more and more, putting yourself out there little by little making yourself available. I find that when talking to others, a good strategy you can use is to just listen to what they're saying and if you can, show that you're interested. Follow up questions are great and open-ended ones work as well. Let them talk. And if it shifts back to you, you'll have some context to work with since you've been listening to them speak all along. I like it because like you mentioned you feel the pressure to talk and this shifts it to the other person, so you can of course choose to speak up as you feel comfortable as you're following up with questions and learning more about the other person. And of course, some people will just talk forever, so you just got to listen

[hypercat54]

Hi and welcome to the site. I don't think its so much being an introvert but that you suffer from social anxiety.

It sounds like you can't overcome this on your own which is often the case when we have issues,so I recommend you try therapy.

Don't be put off by the talking bit as you can write down how you feel and give it to them.

Its encouraging that you state a positive - that you have interesting thoughts etc. so work with that.

Meanwhile stay with us and keep posting. This is a safe place and we will support you all the way.

[Dolphin14]

Hi SadieAmelia

This sounds deeper than being an introvert and even more than social anxiety.

I'm not a therapist but when you say you can't talk to your family it seems there is more going on here. You said you don't feel safe. If you can't talk at home for safety reasons it sets the stage for how you face the outside world.

You are not less than anyone. You have a wonderful outlook on who you are, you are " interesting thoughts and opinions" I love that you say this.

You are young and if this has been going on for 10 years my thought is it started at home. I could be way off base and I apologize if that's not the case.

You are here now. Your voice matters, your thoughts and opinions matter.

We are here to support you

🐬

[designguy]

Sounds like you may be suffering from childhood trauma/c-ptsd, mine started in middle school from being bullied and also growing up in a emotional/physical abusive household and being punished and shamed for any attempt to stand up for myself or be proud of myself. The bullying led me to developing social anxiety. It sounds like you are also suffering from low-self-worth and an inability to validate your self which is common with people suffering from childhood trauma/c-ptsd.

What helped me was finding a therapist that specifically treated trauma/c-ptsd and working with him, he used emdr as part of the therapy which was very helpful in my healing.

If any of this fits for you, you can find a lot of good information on youtube about healing childhood trauma/c-ptsd and also on healing low-self-worth. I particularly like the youtube of Dr. Berni Sewell and did her Break Free program.

[Nairobi7]

hey, you got this and you are not alone. Being here is a good place to start being apart of a community that cares for you and your well being. You are perfect the way you are and there are plenty of people who would benefit from interacting with you. Start small when out in the public even if it’s just a smile, then saying hey, working your way to a simple compliment. In time you will get there. Keep me posted on your progress. You got this!