Depressed very badly

[jonnylongton]

Hello everybody I haven't posted for a long time as I haven't been well I have been in hospital quite a lot of the time but just lately I have found myself in a deep deep depression and I feel like a very dark place I have no one to talk to I don't have no close family I don't have no friends I am basically housebound so I cannot get out can somebody please help me I am more or less stuck in my bedroom all the time because of my disability it is making me feel like taking my life I don't want to but I don't see what choice I have everything is driving me completely mad I just need to get out of this can somebody please suggest something I would really really appreciate it many kind wishes and love sent to all

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

Sometime I use youtube(just google and search for any topic) or Netflix to help me through the day! Keep trying to make friends here and I would love to be one! Yes get the support and care and love of everyone and make sure you talk it out. Talking is best as gets us emotional support that we need. Private message me anytime you want

[jonnylongton in reply to LazyXrayEyes2255]

Thank you so very much LazyXrayEyes you are so kind I really appreciate your post your kind words and your offer of begin a friend, I will take you up on that. I seriously don't have no one to talk to so it would really really nice to talk to you I won't ever make any crude comments or anything like that that's not me I will try and send a private message a little bit later as I am in pain now and also I've got to try and make a phone call but thank you so very very much you don't know how much this has made me happy And how much 3appreciate your kindness

[Piggybank2641]

Hello there...I just joined onto this site minutes ago. I'm in a very similar situation.

Alone and isolated from people. No family here. I have am uncle in NYC 86 years old who has been my lifeline these last few years. I recently lost 2 dear friends of 40+ years due directly to the severe physical and mental health issues I've suffered since 2020. I too have really no one to talk to regularly. Everyone is dealing with their own problems. And the problems of the world especially here in the U.S. are having toll on the few people I speak with. I have 2 friends that I've known since we were 14 yrs old. One lives in NY the other in California. I live in Florida We speak and text every couple of weeks. Friend in California lost everything the owned in the Palisades fire. I'm on meds and seeing a phycologist on Zoom weekly for the last few months. I'm home and alone everyday. I have a beautiful cat which I got back in 2020. She's my everything now. All I got.

[jonnylongton in reply to Piggybank2641]

Hello piggy bank I am so sorry to hear of your situation I do hope you find some kind of help here and get some new friends and maybe get the help what you may not already know of some of the knowledgeable people on here. I'm a little bit I'm not very good with words at the moment because my head is all over the place but Id gladly be your friend as I have none I am home alone everyday I do have one dog and five cats who I love but because of my disability now and being in hospital for 10 weeks I can't hardly get out the bedroom so I don't get to hardly see them it breaks my heart but I wish you all the best and if you do want to message me please do so take care

[Piggybank2641 in reply to jonnylongton]

Morning...sorry to hear about such a lengthy hospital stay. What reason were you hospitalized? How is your recovery going? Thankfully you have someone to take care of your family of pets. 5 cats wow! I know they bring you comfort and joy. My Tiger is my everything. I anything should happen to me right now I have absolutely no one to take care of her. That's one worry I have all the time. Worry...that's a tough thing to control. I go from one worry to another daily. It consumes me at times. There is so much to worry about. Some days are easier to keep it at bay. I listen to lots of meditative tapes on YouTube. Self hypnosis and positive thinking stuff. I try to avoid the news!! I used to watch it all the time. Now I can't. It literally makes me feel ill and frightened. So I'm also isolated from the outside world too. Heading to hospital for a cat scan of throat. I've been sick for nearly a year and a half. Been ti 5 specialists and still no definitve diagnosis. Severe symptom of constant mucus. Spewing unimaginable amounts everyday. Been healthy all my life. 2024 was the worst year for my health. And in Nivember I got hit by a car!! Oh my.

[jonnylongton in reply to Piggybank2641]

Wow you have been through so much oh my goodness I can't believe how strong you are to keep going as you do. As for worry I think I I'm the worlds worst worrier I worry if the most my minute thing is not done. I too don't listen or watch the news not because I am scared I just know there is so much bad going on in the world it would make me even more depressed to watch the news years ago there was totally different there was always something at the end of the news what they put on to me you smile now it's just grief all the time. I also worry about my animals even though I know if anything happened they would be looked after I still think if I died I would be guilty of leaving them and not looking after them how silly is that and I wouldn't about that. Your health problems are ones which I have not heard of before but I can only imagine what you must be going through having constant mucus coming up it must be absolutely awful I don't know how I would go with that I have enough if I have a little bit of rubbish on my chest so I don't know what I would do if I was in your position as I say you're a very strong lady. I was hospitalised by a thing called "Discitis" It is horrendous It is unbearable pain basically it is an infection what goes on your spine and it is undetected at first by MRIs or CT scans and you can get misdiagnosed I called an ambulance to every times because I was in absolute agony and with the most horrendous spasms and all they said was it's just wear and tear on your discs, I pleaded with them and I said it's not wear and tear and they wouldn't listen eventually I got taken into hospital and countless scans And eventually it showed up and they diagnosed me with it that was when they upped my pain medication, thought I would be getting a bit better by now because I am still on antibiotics but I aren't I have the physio out and he tells me to do an exercises and I push myself and still I get no respite okay it is not as bad as when I was in hospital but it is bad I also have another bad illness which is called myasthenia gravis you probably have heard of it Its muscle wasting disease, Which of course has a knock on effect because where my discs or I have lost all my muscle around them I've lost all the muscles in my legs my arms I have basically lost 29 kg in 12 months and there is no way you can build it back up It has a uncurable illness I also have a broken back and fractured spine where I fell so be told it goes on around where I have the discitis

I have heard of the meditation and the mindfulness programs and I keep telling myself get on YouTube but I keep failing even though I know it will do me good I can't get around to doing it.

One question I would like to ask please you said I could private message you I would do but I don't know how to do it I have never done it before and I can't see an option where it says private message. Also I think were those being in different time zones you might not get mine until the next day or vice versa So if you could put me right on there that would really help please.

I will leave it there for now but I do Hope you have a lovely day as best as you possibly can and I'll be thinking of you and I wish you all the best send all my best wishes and pray you have a little bit of respite and I look forward to hearing from you that as if you were still like to, that's another one of my bad things Always wondering whether somebody will get back in touch because I've been let down by so many professionals I just feel like people say oh I'll ring you and never get the right and never get the calls So I apologise it's just I suppose lack of confidence as well

Take care ❤️