Depressed don't know where to tu

[davidlayte69]

hello my name is David I don't have anybody to turn to I'm recently single I broke up with my partner I lost my home my job I have started to slide into depression in also starting to have suicidal thoughts I feel like I have nobody to talk to about this all my emotion is bottled up I don't want to be alive without my soulmate I feel like its me against the world and the stress is unbearable so I don't know what to do or who to turn to I need help I would be extremely grateful if somebody took a second to read this and help please thank you

[kaslje1150]

hi David please what can I do to help x

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

I don't really know to be honest it just would be great to talk to someone I feel so alone and nobody wants to know about how I'm feeling I tried to end my life last night but I couldn't do it I just feel like a lost cause to be honest

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

I know this is such an isolating and crushing feeling. I am here right now to talk about how you are feeling. The first time I tried to kill myself no one knew and I felt no one cared. I hope it at least helps you to know that a total stranger does care...it is sometime easier to turn to strangers to talk out overwhelming emotions

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

thank you you don't know how much it means just to talk to someone even my friends don't want to know and I feel ashamed to tell my parents how I feel

[bigMac77 in reply to davidlayte69]

Hi david my girlfriend left me and took the children in march this year ive been on a downward spiral ever since. Not to mention she isn't letting me see the kids now either. I cant seem to get any peice of mind ive no one either bud not a single friend in sight. One brother who just thinks ive to forget about my 13yr relationship and move on. If only it was so simple id of done it already to stop the pain. I spend most of my days now contemplating suicide and the urge just gets stronger the more i seem to not find help at all from anywhere. Anyhow i just wanted to let you know your not alone in feeling the way you do. For me no help is for coming and i aint sure i can hang on much longer. Hope this finds you safe and well.

[kaslje1150]

What is going through your head right now, how are you feeling compared to last night

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

my brain won't stop racing I've hardly slept a wink I just don't want to be alone

[Trip22 in reply to davidlayte69]

You are never alone. There are others that care for you. You may just not realize it.

[davidlayte69]

how do you deal with this?

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

Try to just focus on getting through one day at a time

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

Sometimes it's really hard and you just physically/mentally can't and I think that's okay. I try to keep myself as occupied as possible until I get so physically exhausted that I have no choice but to fall asleep (usually by watching random videos on YouTube to pass time)

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

I know it is hard and someone just saying "get help" is the least helpful thing in the world..for me I did not have a choice - I was found after an episode/attempt and admitted so my friends and parents found out then. It was an awful experience and part of my life but I admit that I did feel a little less alone once they knew. Just the fact that they knew validated it for me

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

Everything is ALWAYS worse at night. Focus on just getting through the night to the next morning

[davidlayte69]

I have been doing that but my head refuses to let me rest I just feel like I'm a complete failure to everyone

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

Have you ever tried writing? It doesn't have to be like religious journaling (have tried and failed multiple times myself).. but when it's really really bad sometimes I just write down everything that's going through my head even he really nasty thoughts about myself and I get as aggressive as I want sometimes tearing giant holes in the paper as I write. In order to write it down you force yourself to kind of think about every word at a time and it can feel like you're just getting all it out

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

no I haven't tried that

[Hidden in reply to davidlayte69]

I have felt the same way most of my life but I decided to become a born again Christian and started prayer and meditation. Trust me Jesus makes u feel sooo much better. Almost all of my physical pain is now gone and I have never been to therapy or been on meds. I have high anxiety, depression, and social anxiety and it really helps. Also write it in a journal and talk to a friend. Not everyone will understand you but someone will! Don’t worry and god bless you!

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

You can destroy what you've written after which also feels satisfying for me sometimes

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

I went for a walk yesterday I. Lost this page and I couldn't find it I was annoyed and upset I thought I had lost my help from all you helpful great people

[davidlayte69]

I am going to try get some help because I just don't want to feel like this

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

That is honestly incredibly brave of you okay?

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

That is an amazing first step. Medicine does help. Professional therapy can help

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

The fact that you say this proves you are NOT a failure.

[kaslje1150 in reply to davidlayte69]

There are also a ton of mental health organizations online that help with finding resources wherever you may live because figuring it all out on your can seem daunting

[kaslje1150]

I think the truth is, there's nothing myself or anyone else could say that would make you fee better. But you can take some sort of sense of belonging I guess, from knowing that there are others out there going through similar things. When I read things like this online I feel for and care about the person even though I have never met them. I know of the feelings that you're describing, and I truly to empathize with you

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

the thing is my ex partner was my everything and to not have that stability is horrendous I just have a big black hole inside of me where once was happiness

[gogogirl in reply to davidlayte69]

Remember , I know nothing we can say can change things but sometimes realizing that there are others for whom everything is not always "perfect" can help you feel like there are others. I will bet that you can find a peer support group as well especially if you are in a city. Try contacting NAMI and RLC organizations. You mentioned that you lost your job aYd your home which is dreadful as it compounds the break up . I will send my feeling across the miles. You sound like a younger person, and it may not look like it today but you can come out stronger. Also the fact that you reached out shows that you already have a sense of that.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

Just to add: and I have gone through personal issues too and I am an old person: Sometimes volunteering can also distract one. It does not have to be full time as you'll be looking for work but it can also give you a sense of purpose. Senior centers, soup kitchens, shelters, schools, environmental- whatever your interest is. Maybe habitat for humanity as it is something physical ? Also, I hope you can find a doctor also maybe through community health?

[regina7 in reply to davidlayte69]

These are almost the exact words my daughter said a bit more than a year ago. Exact. I am not going to tell you she was over it quickly, because that would be a lie. This person told her they would be together forever and that they were soulmates and she had never felt that way before. After the guy broke it off with her, she had to move home from university and stayed in her room for days on end, not even willing to shower or change clothes. I was at my wit's end when I took her in to see a professional psychiatrist. I was so afraid of what that would mean for her, but now I see it for what it truly was: a lifeline. For not only did he go through medical school, but has specialized training after that about mental health. He did prescribe her celexa, which was a life saver. As he said, it does not make you happy, it makes you brave enough to get through your depression. The quicker you get help, the shorter your depression can be. She just returned to university after a year off, and is happier than she has ever been. We know that one day she might have to face this feeling again, but now we know what to do, and KNOW that it can pass and joy can be had. She now tells me that him leaving her was the best thing that ever happened to her because he truly was cruel to her, and she realizes she deserves better. But for a long time she could not see it. Please talk to people. I think that men do not talk as much as women and talking and seeking help is going to make things soooo much better. You can talk to me. I have researched depression so thoroughly, I am no expert, but I can tell you the things that she did that helped, and also the ones that did not. What I find most helpful is telling the people who love you that this is happening to you, that you are not just "sad" that you are truly depressed. It is a marathon, but just like any marathon, it will end and you will be the victor!

[davidlayte69 in reply to regina7]

that must have been hard for you and your daughter that is how I have been I haven't moved hardly since Friday I saw a doctor today that helped a bit but I want the emotions to dissolve the pain to go away with time it will but I can't stop the crying lack of sleep I haven't been eating can't face food we were a great family at one time I worked hard to provide and all as gone but think I will occupy myself to strengthen myself and mental wellbeing again soon real soon I am really happy your daughter got where she needed to be that felt really good to know she strived

[davidlayte69 in reply to kaslje1150]

s anybody there I can't sleep

[Hidden]

Hi I believe that everyone has more than 1 soul mate in life and that you will find love again one day. It's incredibly painful going through a break up and in many ways it's like a bereavement isn't it? Try to get on with your life as much as possible and keep as busy as you can is often a good way to starting to move on a bit.

I am so pleased you posted in here especially as men are often so reluctant to seek help because it makes them feel weak. I think it's an ego thing.

Depression can come on through life's events like this and it is very good you have recognised it and are seeking help. Thinking of or trying suicide is a red flag that you need urgent help so please have a word with your doctor. There is help out there and you just have to access it. x

[CapitalT]

To break up is tough and can set us on paths best not followed.

As has been said, seeing your GP is a good step, medication can help take the edge off until you come to terms with your new position, often counselling/therapy can help, perhaps with your local MIND if not available promptly via the NHS.

Many here are happy to chat, staring stories and tips.

Hang in there, I'm sure things will improve.

[davidlayte69 in reply to CapitalT]

I don't want to be alone tho

[CapitalT in reply to davidlayte69]

Me neither, though it happens and is tough, I'm finding it so.

[regina7 in reply to davidlayte69]

Honestly, the best thing that has ever happened to me is the time i have spent without a partner. I have learned to love myself and to pamper myself and just do whatever I truly want to. Soon enough, you will fall in love again, and do all the things again that couples do. But take this time to take care of yourself, to read an amazing book, to take up exercise if you don't already. I know that you are down, but look around and see what you can do to help other people. It opens something in your heart and takes you outside of yourself.

[Pbennett2613 in reply to regina7]

I so completely agree.

[peedint03]

Hello David, I know things may be tough right now but I would like to encourage you to be patient and have faith and they will get better. I have always heard when one door closes another one will open. Based on my past experiences I certainly believe that this is true. I also like the saying that goes something like this, if you love someone let them go and if they return then it was meant to be. Not sure that is exactly how that goes but I am sure you get the meaning behind it. Please just try to think positive and look for the small things that you are grateful for. I heard you mention your parents. It sounds like they could be a good source of support for you. I do not think you should be embarrassed to tell your parents how you are feeling at all. As I said they may be a great source of support for you. Reach out to them and let them be there fore you. I do agree that reaching out to your doctor would be helpful. It may also be beneficial to see a therapist to talk about your situation. Keeping your feelings bottled up is not good. I also think that writing your feeling and thoughts down could also be helpful but again try to think positive!

[davidlayte69 in reply to peedint03]

I really do want to get help my partner or ex now finally gave in yesterday and left me for the last time I don't feel like that same person anymore I just feel lost to be honest but I am sorry to sound stupid but I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak I can't talk to my parents much about things my partner she was my everything but I didn't show her enough so now I have pushed her away I feel like I am lost now I wish I could have seen this coming but I'm too stupid to notice things story of my life

[kris2017 in reply to davidlayte69]

Hi david i had a break up few years ago and i felt the same way that u r describing. I felt lk my world was dark. And on top of that i was pregnant and i found out he had someone elae pregnant asweel.My partner was everything to me too. I couldnt eat,sleep, focus at work, even cleaning the house foe months...felt into a deep drepression bc it was so hard on me and was unable to talk to friends+ professional which was big mistake. I felt lk no one cared or new what i was going throw. But u will b suprised once u open up to friends( in my case bc my.family not here) how much people care. Iam still dealing with that but much better now:). Try to open up to ur parents bc they will b there for u no matter what and u will feel much better. Find things that u like to do and focus on that. Try one each day and keep urself busy. Also if u have good friends do things with them. Do not beat urself up if things dint work out. If it meant to b it will if not theres someone else that i will shine ur life. Do not isolate urself bc that make it worse and plz note Iam no doc just sharing my experience. time will heel but u hv to be patient. I know its easy said then done but u will get there. Good luck hope this helps

[davidlayte69 in reply to kris2017]

Kris 2017 that must have been very hard to go through sorry to hear about that I am just going to seek professional help I think

[cb934586]

Matbe try and get another job

You could make friends there.

[Pbennett2613]

I have been there. I am currently in crisis too. I cannot even meet my daily needs, but I can reach out to someone in need. First of all. I promise you - truly you will make it through this. Keep reaching out. Could there be more basic issues you may need to address? I tend to put the cart before the horse. This may take time to get through. If you become suicidal, please call someone. When I went through the same thing you are going through, I kept going day to day at first.

[davidlayte69]

thankyou for your advice it means a lot I am a mess I don't know where to start but something has got to give before I try to throw in the towel

[gogogirl in reply to davidlayte69]

Thankfully your parents are still alive. You might feel ashamed but why? Turning to them might be what you need now then the other pieces can slowly fit together.

[davidlayte69]

i keep waking up at stupid times and not getting back to sleep 😠

[Pbennett2613]

Same here. I would like to be there for you. That is my basic purpose in life, but I can't do it as I have been bedridden for a week. Maybe we can help each other. What can I say or do to help?

[davidlayte69]

I don't know I hope you get well soon I have just hit rock bottom I lost the love of my life she was amazing and I messed everything up I didn't listen to her I thought I knew better now I'm on my own gone she is now it's driving me mad thinking about it my head hurts I feel tired lost I don't want to even leave the house

[Pbennett2613 in reply to davidlayte69]

I will get through it. Do you have a counselor? This community may help with that. After I lost the love of my life and had my first suicide attempt, it was day by day. Eat, try to sleep. Keep talking to people. Then the next step. But for now focus on yourself. I feel you can learn a lot from this but you have to get through it first. Read, watch TV, try to distract yourself. Remember these are emotions. Just sit with them and nothing is forever - your crisis emotions will pass. But take care of your health.

[davidlayte69 in reply to Pbennett2613]

I am going to sort out something today because I don't want to keep feeling this pressure I am being tired irrational don't want to go out

[gogogirl in reply to davidlayte69]

Remember, I know this is very painful but perhaps this is what the universe is telling you what you need- some type of change.

[davidlayte69 in reply to gogogirl]

I am a bit younger I'm 29 and today I took another step and I spoke to a doctor poor man stook for about two hours while I couldn't stop talking but I have been offered counselling so I feel like I have achieved something to me anyway I have decided I'm going to put more time to helping others

[Gaylehh in reply to davidlayte69]

I am so glad you talked to your doctor and told someone who can help you. Very brave of you! Another option that has been mentioned is to find a local support group through NAMI. I find reading these chats very helpful since I know others share our feelings. Good luck to you and am so glad you have taken steps to help you.

[Pbennett2613]

Some path forward is the way out. If it doesn't work, try something else instead of giving up. Get good healthy help. You are making it.

[davidlayte69 in reply to Pbennett2613]

I will try to get there and feel a bit better I hope that you get there too and I hope you get your mobility back

[Pbennett2613]

Awesome. Each positive step we take will help, no matter how small, Good going.

[davidlayte69]

I'm finally feeling tired I'm gonna try sleep night take care

[laurie0]

David, my first suicide attempt was when I had just lost a person who I thought was "the one" and also then my job life slided in and imploded, too. Please consider trying to get some help and not doing this alone with just this community. Ruminating thoughts are hard to enough to manage on your own in a state of depression let alone add on grief over losing a loved one. The perspective that talk therapy gave me was priceless, as well as the medication the doctor gave me that allowed me to sleep at night so I didn't go round and round in my head. I didn't believe him when he told me that I would heal and I would find that someone who was right for me, but I kept on plowing ahead. I did heal and I did find someone who was right for me and we fell in love and got married. It was someone completely different from what I was looking for and I had to heal from that state of depression I was in first. (I am in another state of depression now, but that has come on after years of having it in "remission" and having children first.). I am proud of you for being brave enough to be open and honest about your feelings out here and say that you need help. Please look after yourself.

P.S. My trick to tiring out my brain? Play solitare on the computer until I am so tired I fall asleep... so boring that my brain will finally turn off and I'll fall asleep. Wake up? Repeat. Until you can see your doctor, to get you sleepy, take a couple Benadryl about an hour before you want to go to sleep. When you do see your doctor, ask your doctor for a prescription of Trazadone for sleep. It's not addictive like some sleeping pills and will give you a good heavy night of sleep (believe me... this comes from someone who deals with ruminating thoughts that interfere with my sleep and usually wake me up at least twice per night and sometimes more).

Please let me know if I can help you more. Thinking of you and knowing that If I of all people can make it through, then SO CAN YOU!

[davidlayte69]

I am overwhelmed by everyone and your effects of life and struggles I deeply feel for everyone else on here in extremely grateful for all of everyone's help

[gogogirl in reply to davidlayte69]

That is very nice. I hope you will find another job- maybe just looking for one once you get your head together can really help. What kind of work do you do? You sound bright.

[gogogirl]

Sorry that happened to you, and all at once. I have gone through job loss , and know that it very stressful. I know it can feel shameful to reach out to family and friends, but remember no one is a mind reader. Please let me know how else I can help.

[Vinnie77]

Hi David,I sad and sorry that you feel so hurt that you are wanting to end it all. I promise it will get better. Things shift and changes constantly. Years back the "love of my life " walked out on me. I thought I was going to die. My dreams and future with this person was over. Anyway,he wasn't the love of my life. I met my husband a year and a half later. I'm trying to tell you that your soul mate won't leave you,not on purpose. You'll get another home and life will be happy again. Please don't let these things defeat you. You are worth it! I do understand what you are feeling. Please don't try to hurt yourself again. You matter!

[Rox92]

Has anyone else felt very depressed whilst taking antidepressants? Even if they were prescribed it for anxiety?

[Deangirl34]

Please, please, please be safe. You've survived 100% of your bad days, and that is really something. You are in the valley, but you won't stay there. Borrow some hope from me. I have a lot. I, too, suffer from depression. A few years ago I lost who I thought was my soulmate and I thought the grief of the breakup would kill me. On the other side, and I know and understand things now that I could not have then. Give yourself grace and give yourself time to learn things you can't yet know. Give yourself time to live, learn, grieve, and, yes, heal. What you are going through is a LOT, and you can get tools to get through it. Please reach out to your local community mental health agency. Or a private counselor. Or a doctor. The very fact of your existence means the world needs you. Needing help yourself does not negate that. Please be kind to you. Take the next step. I'm sending you hope and lovingkindness.