Jokes ! !

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

Why did the farmer bury his money on the field?

He wanted to make his soil rich

or

what is scarecrows favourite fruit

straw-berries

or

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

a neigh-bour

[Alpakka123]

Good ones!😂

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to Alpakka123]

💚💙🩶🤎❤️🌈💫🌟✳️

[Bazzak]

My mate’s Daschund swallowed a huge rubber ball and has run away. The vet says his dog might be poorly for a while but will soon bounce back.

.

.John Lennon International Airport has gone into a full lockdown and all passengers and staff are in quarantine. Imagine ... all the people

.

A guy bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay. Swede car online.

.

.just saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbit’s feet. I thought: “Well he’s pushing his luck.”

.Breaking news

Nelly the elephant has just tested positive for covid. When asked where she got it from, she replied; "Trump, Trump, Trump" !

.

.Fun fact: Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs. It’s also their biggest import.

.

My wife tells me I have two major faults, I don’t listen - and something else.

.

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Just had a text from my mate. It said: “My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.”

.

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My mate’s wife knows absolutely nothing about football. He asked her if she rated George Best and she said she preferred Zippy and Bungle..

.

My mate always used to say: “Never be too quick to find faults.” Lovely bloke, terrible geologist.

.

A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts. I can’t believe it’s not butter..

.

Give a man a shirt, and he’ll wear it once. Tell a man he looks good in it, and he’ll wear it for a lifetime.

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to Bazzak]

the last one was the funniest !!! 😆😆😜😀✨🌈💫💟

[MadBunny in reply to Bazzak]

Re the shirt- speaking from experience are you ? 🐰

[Alpakka123 in reply to Bazzak]

Speaking of shirts...I just found one of my husband's dirty ones laying on the couch. When I asked what it was doing there he said it was watching TV...

[Adlon57]

What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with the Titantic?

Halfway.

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to Adlon57]

LOL 😆

[Adlon57]

If there are any idiots in the room will they please stand up," said the lecturer. After a long silence one fresher rose to his feet. "Now then, lad, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the lecturer.

"Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I just hate seeing you standing up all by yourself."

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to Adlon57]

🤣🤣🤣❤️💟👍

[Agora1]

Thanks dear lol xx

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to Agora1]

🌺❤️🌈✨🫂🌟

[RS1974]

Ha ha ha lol 😆

[CatsandCheese]

Love all the jokes!

How about a math joke....

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Gee, I'm a tree!

[LazyXrayEyes2255 in reply to CatsandCheese]

😂🤣🫂💟😉🤩😀