Back in the pit

[Sleeplessme]

Hi guys. Not posted in a while, but I guess I should reintroduce myself as I'm back in the pit of despair.

A few years back I was suffering really badly. I didn't know or understand what was happening and I was terrified. I'd been like this off and on for a few years. Some of the amazing people here really helped me out, Agora, and for the last, what, 3 or 4 years now I've been ok. I say ok, because I don't really think I ever got back where I'd like to be.

I learned about anxiety and I started to understand it. I read loads, talked loads, and understanding is definitely a major key to winning. All that anxiety that doesn't seem to make sense can cripple you, but knowing where it comes from and how to get a grip on it is amazing.

Thing is, life is what drags us down. It's a lot harder to grab that anxiety and take control, when external forces keep battering you down.

I'm struggling at the moment with my ex and how she treats my daughter. Without the gory details, She's not evil, she's just odd... And my daughter cries and begs to be with me every time she has to leave me. On top of that there's work. Knowing about my anxiety issues, the way they treat me is disgusting. Laying on the pressure and literally laughing at the condition. Then there's living... I'm in a place I never dreamt I'd be, cheap rent because the UK is an unrealistic mess for people struggling now. Social services, citizens advice, the council... No one wants to help. I'm also single. Something I hate being, but who in earth would fall for someone in this mess?

I've been off sick for a few weeks now. SSP covers nothing and getting more help isn't easy. I'm about to run out of money, and then I'll be homeless. If it wasn't for my daughter I doubt I'd be here at all. I need to get back to work but I can't sleep. I go a night or two without then crash, and waste a day. I can't work like this. And the anxiety is as crippling as it ever was.

I don't feel like I can beat anxiety, if I can't beat what's causing it. And I don't think I have a cat in hell's chance of beating it.

[Agora1]

Hi my friend...you can beat it and you will when you are ready and the time is right.

Right now you have a situation both at home and work that seem unsolvable. When

we get into a situation where we feel we are not in control, unfortunately anxiety

slips in. We all want to solve our issues/problems..but it's not always that easy.

So we have two choices...One is to spin down into this spiral of anxiety and depression

or we can accept that this is the way it is for now. Acceptance of a situation can help

us get through the hard times. Getting back to Meditation and Breathing can help

balance the Mind & Body Connection. Giving yourself some "me time" is important.

You've beat this once before and you will do it again. You know the steps you need to

take going forward. I'm sorry you are struggling right now but hopefully things will

eventually lighten up for you. I'm glad you came back home to us where you will get

the support and care that you need. Agora1 xx

[Sleeplessme in reply to Agora1]

Thanks Agora, absolutely perfect response as always. It's a million times harder when you believe there is actually a reason for the anxiety and it's out of your control but I will keep fighting. Thank you for welcoming me back home, this is definitely a place I'll never leave forever.

[Agora1 in reply to Sleeplessme]

Sleeplessme, Life isn't easy that's for sure but we must make the best of it or we

become resilent in finding any joy in life. It's the little things that make you smile

that can lift you up. Sending a Smile your way. Life can be good xx

[Sleeplessme in reply to Agora1]

Well I've had more than 10 years of crap now.y daughter is literally the only thing that keeps me going. I really need my luck to change. One large battle to come regards work and its either gonna make it break me.

Sorry, hard not to be negative at the moment.

[zeezou]

Sending so much love your way, you will be okay. Slowly but eventually. Try not to lose hope even though I know it is easier said than done.

[Enduring-it-all]

First I'm sorry you have came to find yourself in a rough place in your life again and feeling overwhelmed in anxiety.I'm not sure what was working prior and what has changed. But possibly look into your past ways of dealing with difficult situations and re- incorporate them into your present situations.

I had a lost anxiety feeling when I was younger a fear of what if I break down in my car or something happens when I'm by myself in an unknown area. The lost anxiety I got over by realizing I could call someone if I was to get stranded somehow or my car broke down. But I had to figure out the root cause why I was having anxiety to begin with., which was realizing I was scared of being lost. I had to break it down by literally asking myself why am I feeling scared when I went to a mall out of town. First Scared came to mind, then ask myself why was I scared, what am I scared of? Which brought me to lost, why was I scared of being lost? That I never truly figured out, but the thought of being surrounded by no one there I knew personally and surrounded by strangers, which caused my anxiety. To solve my anxiety at the time there wasn't any cell phones or I didn't know of them there were only telephone booths this was the in the 80's. I thought ok, you will go use a telephone and call someone you knew to come help you. It sounded so simple after I realized I was so riddled with anxiety but the solution was easy., it's weird how anxiety is so overwhelming until you start breaking it down.

I've also developed anxiety again myself these last 4 years because I've became disabled and lost the rental lived in for 27 years my safe place.

I've been majorly depressed and started doing letting go as my go to. But my take is not so much letting go but surrendering it until the situation is at my face so to speak. If it's not happening right now then surrender the thoughts that are causing worry ( anxiety)., because I imagine the future instead of waiting for it to happen, my anxiety flares with what if this happens, I over analyze and conjure up problems and worries before they might or could happen and it's of course it's not happening right now. So surrender my worries is my current processing.

I hope one of these might help you with your processing of dealing with anxiety.

Another old way I dealt with anxiety was asking myself what's the worse that can happen? Then ok, I find the worst scenario and deal with it by analyzing my solution.

Worry=Anxiety=Racing thoughts=No sleep

Solution= Naming Fear/Worry usually scared but why are you scared usually a scenario you conjured up in your mind as reality ( mine what if I get lost)then thinking it's unresolvable or something you can't handle but once you realize that other people have resolved these things you can to. The worst is? Living on the streets or being homeless? How do you solve it or how would you solve it? Or right now how to stop it from happening? I think you should find a new job possibly or consider it unless you can decide to overcome your worry about how they treat you. Why or what is the pressure your feeling? Why or what is it they don't understand about your anxiety?

Struggle is in the eye of the beholder always, some one else might love to live where you are that's homeless right now, someone else might love to have that job you have that doesn't have a job right now

even if the people there aren't understanding. It's again your view of the world.

Don't get me wrong I have major issues to and sometimes forget that others might be happy to be in my shoes. To me it's the worst... Me I'm alone, 60 yrs old, disabled, home bound 95% of my last 4 years and still looking at this being permanent til I die but have an income from disability and soon a studio apartment to call my own.

Struggle everyday in my mind with taking care of myself, barely able to get out of bed from pain and can't stand more then 5 minutes without having to have something to lean or hold onto can't walk without a walker and only 15 minutes in a store, don't drive anymore. I could go on but someone paralyzed would probably love my life, or someone who's in a nursing home. But it's hard to think this way when we're depressed or having anxiety.

Wishing you the best and sorry your enduring so much anxiety and worry and stressors right now.