Poverty and depression/anxiety

[No_Longer_Human]

This morning i was woken up by my bell. I thought it was the giftcard i won and i pressed the button to open the door or my block but when they came to my appartment, they were not one but two of these old ladies that check the water used and the water bill. They gasped how much water is used and started talking in cubic litres or something like that. I don't understand. I just panicked. They were like "tsts 2464 cubes" and i was staying there, regretting being born. I asked what this means and they said 5bgn per litre or something. Imagine paying 2,5$ for a litre of water. No wonder they can afford to send two people to check. And why even sending people? They saw my toilet is leaking and said this is making the bill. (I felt brief relief because i worried my hot showers were to blame but i have anxiety and loneliness and belly ache and i needed them. I feel so guilty). They said "call your dad, brother or a male neighbour to fix it". I was staying there like"my dad left me, I don't have a brother and i pray i don't do, a baby won't be much useful in fixing the toilet and my neighbours betrayed me, they hurt me and to the other neighbours i owe for the block management". But they didn't hear these things, they were already gone to get a manicure with the prices for liquid gold. The water isn't even drinkable. I always have a stomach bug. I tried to boil some because i didn't want to buy and it tastes terrible and is dirty. Also it comes cold so we have to use electricity to warm it. My ex was dutch and he said there water came drinkable and warm and they didn't have to buy bottled water nor buy boilers and pay for electricity to warm water and wait for them to warm the water. Meanwhile Bulgaria is the second country (after Iceland) with the most hot mineral springs. Bulgaria is bathing in electricity and water but it's still unaffordable while these things are nessesities. I fell asleep but i had nightmares about my mom jumping off the balcony because we're bad kids. I feel like a bad kid because i showered. It's been hours and i can't breathe. But i can't call the ER because they don't care and because i don't have insurance. The modern slavery

[Wildchipmunk]

You're not a bad kid, sweetie. You needed that shower. You are a wonderful human being who is going through some not-so-great times. One day at a time. One minute at a time if need be. All you can do is just try to do the best you can do. Wish I could give you a hug. One of my therapists said she always told herself (when going through a difficult time ) was, " at least nothing has eaten me yet!"! Yes, I suppose one could always be grateful for that...! Just keep going as best you can and know that better days are ahead.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Wildchipmunk]

I need this hug so bad 😭

[Wildchipmunk in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Just checking in on you. I wonder if those two old women were the ones who should fix your pipes. Don't let them intimidate you. One does the best one can do in life and leave it at that. Do you think the police would know of someone who could help you? If they don't maybe they might know some resources you could try. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I wish I could help you. I'm here if you ever need to talk. Sending you love all the way from Maryland (USA). And sending you another hug! 💓

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Wildchipmunk]

I really need hugs😭. Without job and with my family being toxic, im all alone all day. And they would kill me if i get the police involved. Also i will be left without financial support. Rn im depending on a giftcard and Christmas money and trying for a pension so mom doesn't give me for food but i still need her for bills. Also the police here isn't this helpful

[CLB1125]

do you have a landlord that you pay rent to? They should be the ones to fix pipes.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to CLB1125]

I don't