You can’t completely prevent cognitive dissonance in your life. However, it’s possible to reduce cognitive dissonance by changing your thoughts, changing your behaviors, or finding other ways to cope.
You can also seek out professional help if you find that the psychological discomfort is affecting your overall mental health and well-being.
Tip 1: Develop self-awareness
Developing a better understanding of your priorities can help you identify and correct internal conflicts. The more important a particular value or belief is to you, the more likely you are to experience discomfort when you go against it.
Journal to cultivate self-awareness. One helpful journaling exercise simply involves identifying and clarifying your beliefs and values. What matters most to you? And why?
Is healthy eating a high priority for you because some sort of health condition—such as diabetes or high blood pressure—runs in your family?
Do you have strong opinions on animal cruelty or environmental justice?
What about religious or spiritual beliefs?
This exercise may make it easier to determine where strong dissonance is coming from and how to reduce it.
Know how dissonance commonly shows up for you. The signs of cognitive dissonance often differ from person to person.
You might experience waves of guilt and shame.
Or maybe you spend a lot of time internally questioning and rationalizing your decision-making.
You might even feel queasy or tense.
Whenever you feel uncomfortable with your own choices and behavior, check in with yourself and look for signs that you’ve strayed from your core values and beliefs.
Tip 2: Adjust your beliefs or perspective
If conflicting beliefs are driving your dissonance, you can take steps to change your perspective. Cognitive restructuring, which is often used to address negative thinking patterns, may be useful here. This approach involves catching, checking, and changing thoughts.
Catch the conflicting beliefs. The first step is to notice and acknowledge when you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance. If you’re feeling an emotion like guilt, stress, or frustration, try to trace that emotion to a particular internal conflict. You might be frustrated because you feel obligated to do a favor for someone who treats you poorly. Or you may feel shame for being on a diet but indulging in ice cream from time to time.
Challenge your belief or attitude. Ask yourself, “Why do I feel obligated to help this person?” Or, “Is a small serving of ice cream really that bad?”
Replace the thought. Try, “I’m not obligated to help this person.” Or you can aim to rationalize the thought. “I can help them, as long as I assert clear boundaries in the future.” Or: “As long I eat well and exercise, a small amount of ice cream is not fatal to my diet or health.”
Seek out supportive information that reinforces your beliefs. Turn to friends who reassure you that you don’t have to do favors for people who treat you poorly. Or research some of the benefits of eating a little ice cream (it’s a good source of calcium and vitamins A and D).
Tip 3: Change your behaviors
Another approach is to adjust behaviors that conflict with your values. As your actions begin to align more closely with your beliefs, the discomfort you feel should decrease.
Aim to replace a behavior with a new one rather than simply drop an action. For example, you believe you need to save money, but you’re also a compulsive spender. The dissonance stresses you out. You can develop a habit of putting a certain amount of money in a savings account after payday. Make sure the goal you set is realistic.
Make it easy to perform the new behavior. For example, you want to build a habit of exercising as soon as you leave work, so you keep gym clothes in your car as a reminder. Or you ask a coworker to join you as an accountability buddy.
Be patient. It can take months for a new behavior to evolve into a habit. Consider tracking your progress to stay motivated. For example, you might keep an eye on how your savings account is growing, or keep a record of how often the exercise after work.
[Read: How to Break Bad Habits]
Tip 4: Practice mindfulness
Research from 2020 found that mindfulness could potentially help you cope with dissonance. This could be because mindfulness involves accepting things as they are without judgment. So, it can help you accept dissonance without labeling it as “bad” or something that needs to be acted upon.
Visualize the flow of thoughts and feelings. One mindfulness exercise is to imagine your thoughts and feelings as items moving along a conveyor belt. As you stand in front of the passing items, you can choose to pick them up and label them “good” or “bad.” Or you can simply observe them with a nonjudgmental attitude, accepting them as they are.
Rely on your senses. In addition to learning to notice and accept your internal states, it might be helpful to do the same with external experiences. Take a moment to tune into a single sight, sound, smell, taste, or sensation. It could be the sound of traffic outside your window, or the smell and taste of a hot cup of tea. Allow it to take up your full attention and set aside the urge to label it.
Try out guided meditation practices. Meditation can help you be more aware of your thoughts, actions, and points of internal conflict. It can also help you practice self-compassion, relax, and accept dissonance through mindfulness.
Tip 5: Manage overall anxiety levels
People experience cognitive dissonance as unwanted stress. A little stress in your daily life is expected, but if it goes on too long, it can start affecting your mind and body. It’s important to take steps to manage your anxiety and stress before it progresses to burnout.
Exercise regularly. Physical activity helps release tension and can offer a much-needed mood boost when you’re feeling stressed and anxious. Try to build an exercise routine that you genuinely enjoy so you’re more likely to stick with it.
Cut back on habits that spike anxiety. For example, drinking too much coffee or using nicotine can make you feel more anxious than usual. Poor sleep hygiene can also elevate stress levels and make it harder to regulate your emotions.
Have a list of go-to relaxation techniques. Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, breathing practices, and visualization can all help you find a sense of inner calm. Experiment with different relaxation techniques and take note of which ones work best for you.
Tip 6: Boost your self-esteem
A psychological concept known as “self-affirmation theory” offers another possible answer to managing dissonance.
According to this theory, if you have high self-esteem, you’re less likely to struggle with cognitive dissonance. As long as your overall view of yourself is positive, you’re able to move past perceived flaws and inconsistencies in your thoughts and behaviors. Use these steps to boost your self-esteem and build a healthier self-image.
Adjust your self-talk. Whether you notice it or not, your internal monologue can affect how you feel about yourself. Aim to be more attentive to that little voice in your head. Are you being kind and fair to yourself? Or overly critical? Try to reframe negative self-talk, such as “I’m a terrible cook,” to something more positive or neutral, such as “I can always learn new skills in the kitchen.”
Focus on your best traits. Create a list of things you really like about yourself. Maybe you see yourself as a resilient person or a hard worker. You can also include specific skills and talents. Perhaps you have an eye for design or are very athletic.
Revisit compliments. Sometimes, it’s easy to downplay the kindest words people have offered you. Write down some of the most memorable compliments you’ve received. You can take this a step further and write down some awards or accolades that have meant a lot to you.
Tip 7: Know when to seek professional help
Most of us experience cognitive dissonance from time to time. However, if the dissonance is consistently affecting your mental health or leading to behavioral issues, it’s wise to seek professional help. Here are a few reasons you might turn to a therapist for help:
You avoid decision-making or excessively worry about a decision after you’ve already made it.
You feel embarrassed or ashamed over something you said or did and try to hide it from others.
You often feel intense guilt or regret about your actions.
You feel “off” but do not know why or how you can fix it.
You often give into peer pressure because you don’t want to disappoint others, even when it goes against your beliefs or values.
You spend a lot of time rationalizing your behaviors to yourself or others.
Whether you seek therapy in-person or via an online therapy platform, a professional can guide you through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, such as adjusting your conflicting beliefs and attitudes. They can also help you come up with an action plan to align your behaviors and values, build self-esteem, and cultivate acceptance.