According to Scientific America, it’s natural for humans to care what other people think of them. But if you’re caring too much and you’re adjusting your life according to other people’s expectations, you will live a life of suffering. Whenever you are self-conscious, you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. When you are self-conscious, you are in trouble that shows symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.
First, a person who has a strong need to identify with something because they haven’t looked inside. They don’t know themselves, who they are, and therefore they cling on to external factors in order to define themselves. Without external identification, they would be lost. The problem is that any disturbance in the external world can cause internal turmoil. Second, if you have a strong sense of “I am this”, your ego will get hurt in case somebody tells you otherwise. Why on earth would you get offended or have negative emotions when somebody says that you are stupid? It is the ego, believing that it is in fact not stupid and desperately wanting everyone else to recognize that. Similarly, if your ego believes that you are a failure and somebody compliments you, you will get defensive. If there was no ego, if you managed to get rid of it, you would have no emotional reaction to any of this. That doesn’t mean being arrogant. If somebody tells you that you are stupid — who knows, maybe they’re right! Maybe you have really done something silly. It is alright to consciously and rationally engage with that idea, think about it. But there is no need to get identified or get hurt. Third, it is the worst consequence of ego if your ego has a sense of who you are, you might actually identify with it so much that you become exactly that. All identifications are useless, but the negative ones are perhaps the most harmful. If you believe that you are a failure, you will eventually behave in your everyday life as if you really were a failure. You will react to situations in a certain manner, you will not seek out opportunities, you will be anxious, you will radiate a certain energy around you. Eventually, even if nobody in their core can be a failure, you will create such environment where your illusion will be indistinguishable from reality.
To drop your ego fully, you need to stop dropping it and that the ultimate method to drop the ego completely is non-doing. Even if you’re on the spiritual path, if you work on yourself and you manage to dissolve a large part of your identifications, there is a good chance that through all these actions you’re still feeding your ego. You cannot actively get rid of your ego because whatever you do will establish a sense of identity, however noble or spiritual that identity is. The only way to become established in yourself is through the practise of yoga, through enhancing your awareness and meditation.An egoless state is a state where you are emotionally indifferent, where praise doesn’t excite joy and criticism doesn’t hurt you. The initial stage of dissolving your ego is to turn in and destroy your identifications with any external factors and characteristics. But in order to get rid of your ego completely, you will need to go a step further — you need to surrender.❤️