Have any of you feel/experienced that... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Have any of you feel/experienced that...

sadwaffle profile image
13 Replies

Have any of you feel/experienced that you really really want to open up to your friends, to seek help and support but every time you go outside of your house and hang out with people you're like suddenly changing, like you're not yourself. Like you're happy and laughing as if nothing is wrong with you, and you got so used to being like that that you can't literally open up to people. I do feel like that. I sometimes took it as a good way of dealing with problems and depression, that yeah finally you can laugh again but once i get to my house i become this depressed, hopeless and lonely self again. It's a gift and a curse. I literally can't talk about my problems to my friends even if I wanted to. It is as if you're being held by something or someone that you can't speak up about it..

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sadwaffle profile image
sadwaffle
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13 Replies
Kittygoblue profile image
Kittygoblue

Oh yeah I get it. At work I am perfectly wonderful and professional. Being bipolar, I assume/know those people don't want to hear my crap. With friends I can act normal for awhile, but there are certain people who don't understand/know/believe in mental health issues. I've been depressed 3.5 years and my friends don't even make contact. Like I feel I shouldn't be alone all day, because my bad thoughts and anxiety take control. But most moods are temporary, so instead of calling everyone I know to PLEASE talk to me, I just bawl and wait to feel better. It's not all day, so one step up.

sadwaffle profile image
sadwaffle in reply to Kittygoblue

Yeah exactly, I feel that "I shouldn't be alone all day because something bad might happened". And like begging people to talk to you, I feel that, desperately wanting someone to talk to. I thought i was the only one who actually experience that, maybe I should wait to feel better like you said, thanks.

willaofthewoods profile image
willaofthewoods

That happens to me as well. For myself, I think it has to do with not wanting to be vulnerable. If I'm smiling and laughing, why bring up the anxiety and sadness I felt earlier that day? But I need to feel loved and supported to move forward. It helps a lot when one of my friends is the first to admit things aren't perfect in their lives, then it gives me the courage to do it too. So sometimes to get myself to open up I try to remember how much admiration I have for the people who can put their hearts out in the open. It helps me some. But it's still one of those things that doesn't come easily.

sadwaffle profile image
sadwaffle in reply to willaofthewoods

with sadness/depression/anxiety nothing comes off easily, But I'll try my best to open up to people and you should to, it's hard but I'm trying, thanks.

LilyAnnepuppy profile image
LilyAnnepuppy in reply to willaofthewoods

I agree wholeheartedly with not wanting to be vulnerable. If you haven’t heard of her already, Google Brené Brown. She has YouTube videos (TED Talks, Netflix Special). She has wonderful things to say about vulnerability and shame. AND she’s funny.

It’s hard to be honest about who I am, but the results have been worth the effort for me.

TrustnGod profile image
TrustnGod

Hello sadwaffle. I feel your pain! It’s so easy to just act like nothing is ok it’s almost ridiculous. I remember I was telling my coworker about my journey with my health (really health anxiety) this summer and she told me “oh not there’s no way that could be anxiety because you’re still so happy and able to function”. I almost cried after she said that.

Instead of bringing it up to a group of friends have you tried to bring it up to just one that you’re close with?

~Lia

sadwaffle profile image
sadwaffle in reply to TrustnGod

thanks for sharing your experience, and yes I think I did, but it didn't turn out well. She was depressed too(which i didn't know but I did thought about it before) and we ended up not comforting each other because i felt like it was a mistake and bad for me to open up to her and felt like a burden. She's my closest friend, and she told me i could always talk to her but when i finally decided to, it didn't end well, while having to deal with depression and loneliness that time I still check up on her and ask her how she feel every day so she won't feel the way i did you know, comfort her. I feel more lonely and sad while doing that and since then, i didn't try to do it again, to talk about what I'm going through

TrustnGod profile image
TrustnGod in reply to sadwaffle

Wow I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that. Having someone who you thought was going to be there through everything but isn’t is so incredibly difficult. It’s understandable that you’re having difficulties opening up to someone else. The only advice I have is to try again when you’re ready to. I’m in shock at some of the people who I’ve been able to open up to and what’s crazy is all of the people who I’ve opened up about my anxiety to aren’t my closest friends. But I think it’s that way for a reason. Is there anyone- like a therapist or something- you’re able to open up to?

sadwaffle profile image
sadwaffle in reply to TrustnGod

I've thought about seeking for help from professionals but I haven't really done it, maybe because I'm embarrassed, or don't feel like it, that close friends is a better option than coming to professionals, but thanks for the advice, I'll think about it, and yeah maybe I'll try again when I'm ready to, I'm gaining courage to do it, it may take a long while but I'm getting there, well hopefully, thanks for the advice and support it did helped me.

LilyAnnepuppy profile image
LilyAnnepuppy in reply to sadwaffle

The best thing I was able to do about my Depression/Anxiety Disorder was to admit and accept I had it and seek professional help. Yes, it was hard admitting I couldn’t fix myself and my pride told me I should be able to. But it was harder living alone with my problem.

in reply to TrustnGod

You are lucky because you can have a good laugh. As soon as you cross the line and want understanding the relationship changes as you are now seen as needy. Guess coming home to an empty home alone is the time you miss contact. Weekends must seem so long. Any chance of joining an evening class or a walking club to get some exercise and make new friends. As it has been deluging where I live am hogging the front row of the TV stalls with unfinished projects awaiting outside. Are you getting over a relationship and learning to adjust as this is a lonely time. Keep smiling and people will smile with you.

weloveraven profile image
weloveraven

I felt this.. I always listen to my friend's issues and give them advice but as soon as they ask me how I'm doing, without question I smile it off and say "I'm good." even if I just had a mental breakdown before I saw them

sadwaffle profile image
sadwaffle in reply to weloveraven

like you can't physically tell them you're not doing so well, and all you can do is lie to yourself and your friend, same

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