anxiety

[Aimonohs]

Hello I’m new here. I’ll tell a little bit about myself and what I struggle with. I suffered from childhood trauma. It wasn’t extreme. But I just remember it being really lonely. My father and mother weren’t there emotionally. I figured everything out on my own and internalized everything. That eventually led to depression and anxiety. I did recover from it. I got married recently and over the course of my relationship ( which has been going since Oct 2021) had already worked a lot on myself. But now Idk what exactly is wrong but I have all these expectations and I feel like my husband is not meeting them. Long distance is also playing its part I believe. But the weight of these expectations is heavy. And I get these outbursts of anger and I have become a lot to deal with at times and I feel left alone so idk I need support and help.

[Littlecook]

Hello Aimonohs Welcome to this friendly and helpful site ,you can speak out and get the help you want ,you are never alone so please don’t think that you are we all want to help in anyway, childhood trauma is something that I fully understand with my own experience. Look after your self .

[CanYouHearMe]

you are In The right place. Huge community that is helpful and understanding. Whatever your experiences or feelings, there is someone here who gets it.

Sending you extra positive vibes for feeling better!

[BeagleHeart]

This is something I struggle with as well. Both of my parents were emotionally neglectful and I had a much older sibling who was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. I moved out at 17 and married my high school sweetheart at 20. I thought I had a decent handle on these problems but came to realize in the past two years all I had done was heavily isolate. After both my parents passed within a year of each other I have bouts of uncontrollable anxiety. I've got maybe 8hrs of sleep in the last 48hrs and I can't seem to find any relief.

[Hidden]

We are all longing for the perfect relationship. Reality has a rude way of reminding us that we are all flawed.

Peace to you🪷

[HopeforMiami]

Welcome Aimonohs. I think your high expectations are a normal reaction to growing up with trauma and emotional abandonment. If you had no healthy blueprint for a marriage and a family, you had to create your own. So it's normal that you expect things to be the way you figured that they should be.The problem is that none of us can fill the expectations of anyone. We are all flawed and we need to be loved and accepted as we are, and not as someone expects us to be.

You survived a bad childhood and figured things out on your own and healed yourself! That's an amazing accomplishment. And you have the self awareness you need to deal with this too.

Maybe your expectations are part of what got you through a lot of this. And maybe now you can try to leave them aside and try to take things one at a time.

Maybe you have high expectations for yourself too and you want your husband to have them too.

But you already have so much to be thankful for! Try to be patient with yourself and enjoy all you've accomplished.