Birthday Musings

[Bibliophile4]

I realize I’m new here, and a trauma dump on my first day is as stressful to me as it likely is to everyone else. But I’m in a funk and just need to speak the hurt into the universe so that I might breathe ever so slightly easier.

Don’t worry though. I’ll keep it short.

I’m a child of trauma. An adult of PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 5 years ago. So things have not been easy, but I’ve always tackled them. With a smile. And an ease that belies the difficulty, or so I’ve been told.

Today is my 43rd birthday. Most of my friends and my family wished me well and then moved on. And I’m devastated. I don’t know why. I’ve faced far harder things but this has thrown me. I’ve tried to be grateful for what I have, which is a blessed life and a beautiful family. But today my heart is breaking. And I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so alone. Again, ridiculous feelings considering the blessings I have and the hardships I’ve faced. But I can’t shake the emotion and seems to only grow stronger as the day progresses.

I’m sorry for such a sad introduction to myself. But I couldn’t sit and not give voice to the pain any longer.

[kenster1]

Welcome aboard and happy birthday.

[Jonathanpait]

I get it. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason why things throw us. I am feeling pretty down right now as well, but in the past, it has gotten better in the morning. I am trying to just accept my feelings and not fight them, which is challenging. I really hope you feel better.

[CLB1125]

Happy Birthday. Glad you are here.

[gajh]

Happy Birthday. Welcome.

[MaggieSylvie]

Hi Bibliophile4, welcome to the forum, and happy birthday. Today, being Monday, I expect most of your friends and family are busy at work, or even preparing for Christmas. In your case, just getting over the demands of Thanksgiving. So I wouldn't jump to conclusions about why you haven't had any kind of "hug". You are so lucky not to have a Christmas birthday. I feel your hurt every year, when half the time, even my partner doesn't remember it, and it's all about Christmas if you go out. Even friends invited to dinner say "Oh I didn't know it was your birthday!" Because people don't have birthdays on Christmas Eve - or worse - Christmas Day, do we? Just wait - the evening may bring something good.

[DJB74]

Hello there. I am 50 and not just due to age but the overwhelming " darkness" from the world really shadows a lot of people with altering existential questions, such as, Why do I exist? What's the point of life, etc. For me an exploration into existentialism and developing a genuine passion helps. If you have Audible check out a podcast or some books on Existentialism and investigate for yourself. Meanwhile I'd be very welcomed to listening or sharing ideas that have benefited me in the past. Happy Birthday.