I did it

[sad_watermelon]

You all told me to not text him. But I felt like this is the right thing to do. So I texted him. He replied. He was really nice and said there’s nothing negative between us. He updated me about his life and that was it. I felt great after it.

But a few days later I found out that our favourite musical is coming to our country for the first time ever and I couldn’t not send it to him. He thanked me. I just said « no problem » but he hasn’t seen the message. It’s been 2 days. But I don’t really care about that.

He stoped watching my stories though. He logs into the other account to see if I have posted a storie, but doesn’t see it. And I don’t know why, but this is driving me crazy.

I don’t regret texting him though.

[Hidden]

be careful with your mental health x

You need to be tougher x

Concentrate on mental health x

[Alpakka123]

It's not for any of us to tell you what to do. You followed you gut, and I am proud of you for that!👍👍👍

Did you make the right decision? I haven't the slightest clue. But that's not the point. The point is that you feel good about yourself and that you feel good about the decisions you make.

[Alpakka123]

Hi again,I just got back from church. I saw my abuser. I gave her one of my crocheted crosses that I'm making for our Christmas market. I also gave her a hug and asked her if she was okay. It felt good initially, but then guess what happened? I burst into tears right before I left the church. She won't apologize for hurting me. She doesn't think she did wrong. When I asked if she was okay, she asked the same of me. I didn't say "no stupid, you hurt me. How can I be okay?". Instead, I said I was fine. This stuck with me, festered in my brain to the point of thinking "well crap, she's not going to apologize", and I broke down. I'm hurting really badly now.

I'm currently at a cafe with tear ducts that feel like they've dried up. Why'd I do what I did? Because I'm nice, and it can be a curse. And maybe a bit subconsciously because I think she'll turn nice again. That I think things will go back to the way they were before she turned nasty. But she won't. She will never see the error of her ways because something is wrong with her. She's not playing with a full set of marbles. She made everything my fault because she's nasty (and, in her words, has actually said "I cannot be nice"). No one in their right mind says this. There is something seriously wrong with her.

I'm not sure why I was nice to her.

So, I understand you very well.

[EarthSitter1 in reply to Alpakka123]

You’ve tried, you’ve shown that you’re a good kind person. It sounds like she’s not worth hurting yourself over. I suffered from meeting a person like her who seemed nice until I heard the lies she told about other people and when she tried to involve me in her lies, I said no they’re good people I’m not interested she turned on me. I learned later it was a pattern of behaviour with her and she liked to create trouble wherever she went. It made my mental health bad for a while as she had told some terrible stories and some people are only too happy to believe bad things about other people. Now I just avoid her, everyone has worked out what she’s like as she is rapidly running out of victims. You need to put yourself first, and take care of your own health.

[Alpakka123 in reply to EarthSitter1]

Omg, I'm so sorry you went through that. I really appreciate your words, so thank you!!

[CLB1125 in reply to Alpakka123]

you did it because you are a good person. don't regret what you did. think of it as you did it for your own peace of mind. she will never see that she is not a nice person. In her mind she's perfect. I know my brother is married to someone just like her.

[Alpakka123 in reply to CLB1125]

Thanks, my dear. I really like your words of not regretting it, so thank you! I'm so sorry your brother is in a similar boat.

[EarthSitter1]

Take care. Only you know how much you can take. Your health needs to come first before anything else.

[LynnSalv]

Maybe he felt it too dry, or is unsure himself about your intentions with him. But you trusting your gut and texting him is very good, specially that you feel fine about it afterwards. Always priorize your mental health, but small victories like this one will make you stronger

[Midori]

Take care that you don't start becoming obsessed with him.

It's very easy to do when you won't make a clean break with somebody who is just being polite.

Cheers, Midori