Feeling lost and don't know how to help myself.

[blueandsad]

I am about 12 years out of retirement (RPh for 37 years). I had post-retirement depression due to a loss of identity and boredom. About 5 years into that, I joined a local art studio with other artists around my age. It was a blast! I had community. Then the personality of the group began to change when a loud, selfish, domineering person joined. At the same time, there were a number of deaths among the artists. Eventually, the environment was not comfortable to me so I quit. Since then I have been without a real community. I visited six or seven local churches but the services were mostly contemporary with loud music and dark auditoriums. That was not comfortable for me.

I am stuck now with no idea how to find new community or new friends. The resulting depression has caused some physical decline over the past 3 years. I am currently dealing with insomnia and chronic anemia of an unknown cause. The depression, boredom, insomnia and illness have created a very uncomfortable situation for me. I have tried counseling a number of times with no help.

My life feels empty of meaning and I don't feel valuable. I take care of 5 rescued animals (it used to be a compulsion to rescue but now it is exhausting). I have a wonderful husband, but he still works full time and so I spend my days alone.

I used to paint, sew, crochet, knit, etc. but can't seem to force myself to take any of it back up.

I would love to hear from someone else who has been through this feeling of being lost as to what to do with yourself. Nothing appeals to me anymore.

[Tabby-5]

Hi, I can relate to so many things you said. I want to thank you for the 5 animals you rescued. I work at an animal shelter and it's people like you that can give an animal a better life from where they came from and certainly being in a shelter that causes much stress. If it is too much for you ask for help someone like you that loves animals. I am currently working with a hypnotherapist, and I do also have a wonderful therapist. Keep trying, and I think you will know when the right place for you is follow the feeling in your gut. Hope this helps,

[Midori]

Hello, and welcome to the community! We are all on similar pathways here, some of us further along than others, and we are a warm and welcoming bunch of folks. I'm 76 as well, so not the oldest, there are a few older than me, I also crochet, although arthritis is getting at my hands and making things hard!

Pull up a chair get a coffee or something and get chatting. Oh, and please you will get more replies if you lock your posts. there is a tickbox which is set to 'everyone', Change it to 'Community only'. This helps to ensure security. if you have trouble, Admin can help.

Cheers, Midori

[Lancslass66]

Hi im 71 and I went through and to a degree am still going through the same as you. I retired 6 years ago and we moved to the country all in 6 months two major life changes. I have had therapy but it doesn't really help. I try and get out and about and see friends even though I don't want to go. It's called languishing apparently the opposite of flourishing I feel it's hit the nail on the head. I just think it's a symptom of getting older. I know my felt is of absolutely no use to you but I know how you feel xx

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear that - I wonder if depression set in when you lost you support/friendship group. I find it's harder to fit in and find friends, the older you get. I wonder if there's physical changes to yourself that the stress might bring on. Wish I had the answer, but writing here quite often feels like a kind of friendship and support. For myself, group counseling was great, but I don't know if they still have that, due to the pandemic. I'll try & look into it.....

[Redtennis128]

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I can relate to what you're going through since I have had a similar experience. I got relief with the aid of an excellent psychiatrist and outstanding counselor. I found it is very important for the counselor to be a strong CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). The combination is very effective. However, as you probably have found out finding the right counselor is so very difficult. I had to try several before finding someone i could relate to.

I understand that many people have had great success with Natural Psychedelic Substances give by an expert provider. I do not have any personnel experience but my counselor said the trials have been very promising.

I wish you the very best and hope you find relief soon!