My first attempt to connect with others:)

[MyLilKalEl]

Good morning, I joined healthunlocked a while back, looking for some sense of community that gets mental health struggles. I am 43 years old, married for 19 years with 7 kids, 5 are still home. We were a foster family for 9 years, and adopted 2 sets of sisters. I have lived with depression bi-polar, PTSD and anxiety all of my adolescent and adult life. It has increasingly gotten worse in the past 5 years as I have experienced emotional traumas that have changed me. I have been faced lately with the reality I have stopped living. I have been shut down for at least a year now and am scared to try to live again. I need to connect with others as much as I don’t want to at the same time. I do seek counsel and to be healthy, but depression is a battle that I have to work through everyday to begin my days. Anyhow, that’s a brief synapses of why I am taking this step to join this group. Thank you for reading. I hope I can stick with it. Megan 🙂

[saracar]

Good Morning. I think that is great. You might not be connecting with a lot of pet outside your home, but you certainly have a busy life. I myself am very isolated, so I can identify. Hope you are having a good day.

[MyLilKalEl in reply to saracar]

Thank you. My day has been decent. My evenings usually brings on anxiety and mood changes. Which is partly why I came on here. I would love to go for a walk once my mind transitions into my evening time. I appreciate you responsed to my post.

[robbylynnofnm]

Wow Megan you sound so like me! I too am married, 27 years, have two adopted sons and many aged out foster children. I was a foster parent for fifteen years and had over 50+ children. That can cause emotional trauma for anyone. Anyway I too suffer from mental illness. I am Bi-Polar 1 and have PTSD from childhood issues. I suffered a nervous breakdown in 2012. I had struggled for a year before that. It took me a year to recover after a brief one week hospitalization. I was so ashamed for "failing" my family. I think what brought it on was retiring from fostering in 2008 and losing my "identity" as a foster Mom. I had always been so busy helping children that I had forgotten myself. And to be honest my adopted sons were older siblings and one did not bond with us and we now have very very limited contact and it was becoming worse around the time of my nervous breakdown. It was acerbated by my illness of course. No blame either way I believe. It just was, you know? I did bond with the younger boy and he is the love of my life. We are so attached to one another and I have many grandchildren from him and the others who aged out of the system with me. It's been wonderful being a grandmother. That is the best role ever. Just wait until that happens. Believe me it's something to look forward too. I'm so excited to have met you in this group. I too am reaching out for a connection to help me deal with the ups and downs and can totally relate to the "shutting down". No one understands fostering and adopting unless you have been through it. It definitely takes a toll. Do you have biological children? I don't. I never tried to do anything about my infertility. I look back and wish I had but se la ve that's just too bad. Wasn't meant to be for me. Please know I am here and can chat with you anytime! I'll look for your posts.

[MyLilKalEl in reply to robbylynnofnm]

Hi! it is so nice to meet you. I do have 2 biological boys. They are 24 and 17. I totally get the identity part. I was recently just thinking the only time I felt like I was fulfilling my purpose in life, was when I was a foster parent . I have been on a " mission" the past year trying to find and live as "my true self" lol It's definitely not been as easy as I thought. One day at a time. thank you for your message. 🙂 I look forward to talking more

[Sprinkle1]

Hello I feel sorry for the situation you are in. I myself have been a sufferer of depression on/off all my life (now 78). I have found therapy so helpful, and I also rely on antidepressants to keep me functioning. Talk to your Dr. they may help you. Reach out for help, and feel you can talk to us, we offer support, love and big hugs.....Sprinkle 1.......

[MyLilKalEl in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you 🌷

[Blackdog1]

I'm here for a little community interaction as well.

I think every positive action we take for our mental health adds up, no matter how small.

Good luck to you here!

[MyLilKalEl in reply to Blackdog1]

Thank you 🙂

[HisChild4ever]

Dear Megan, I am sorry about how you feel! Mental illnesses can be so hard to deal with. I hope that you have a therapist. Therapists can help a lot. I hope that you can join a support group too, which can also be very helpful. I am glad you have found some people who can sympathize here. It's important not to isolate ourselves. We all need help in one way or another. I am glad you have done so much in your life. I suffer from depression too and it is very hard to accomplish things. Do not give up. You are a very important person.

[Sabio77]

thank you for sharing, nice to meet you. I am glad that you are trying to be positive and push thru the darkness. that is not easy to do. you can always reach out here to talk ….