It never really gets better, does it?

[NylaCAT]

I’ve realized that no matter how much better my external environment becomes, that won’t change the fact that I have depression. I have anxiety. It will always steer its little head at some point or another. It’s just the way my brain works. I’m not lazy; I’m not a bitch. I’m tired and drained from stress. And it’s never going to get better. This is just who I am.

[fauxartist]

It is the dark passenger to quote Dexter.... but the acceptance that this is part of who we are, and learning to understand it, and know that the sadness stuff comes on worse sometimes than others, and there doesn't have to really be a reason why, it just is that we feel sad...that's where finding tools to help you through it will help. There is no cure for depression, it is chemical, sometimes SSRI's will help, but it's only a little bit. Some of us with depression also have childhood trauma, or others issues that make our depression feel worse sometimes....but it doesn't have to define us.....I have to give myself permission to ride out the lows and be okay that it isn't because I did anything wrong, or I'm not doing something right...it just is what it is.

[NylaCAT in reply to fauxartist]

“I have to give myself permission to ride out the lows.” I love that.

[fauxartist in reply to NylaCAT]

Yeah....we do kinda.... no guilt or shame....because we have no control over a medical condition with no cure....so we cope the best we can and do what we need to do to get to the other side of a depressive episode. It takes courage and strength that we don't even realize we have to survive and move forward. It's part of who we are, a is what it is, and it does not have to define us.... we learn to live with it, not let it control how we live.

[mizzou7016]

I agree with the fact that it is part of who you are. I agree with the fact that it raises it's ugly head at the most inopportune times.....I disagree with the thought you have that it won't get better...I didn't think that my PTSD Anxiety and depression would get better....through self care and treatment....it has become a lot more manageable...it hasn't gone away....but it has definitely gotten better.....always here if ya need to talk

[NylaCAT]

I know that PTSD must difficult I'm glad your doing better.

[bethelbee]

My history of depression and anxiety stems from childhood trauma. I'm doing ok now, but have had periods where I was not. I always say it's a part of who I am but does not define me. Took meds for decades and became treatment resistant to them. Went another route for treatment and have been doing well.

[MonaBlue2024 in reply to bethelbee]

What other route did you go for treatment?

[bethelbee in reply to MonaBlue2024]

I had TMS. I had 3 rounds; the results of the first two each lasted about 6 months and the 3rd is still working after 2-1/2 years.

[MonaBlue2024 in reply to bethelbee]

What is TMS?

[bethelbee in reply to MonaBlue2024]

TMS is Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. It uses magnetic pulses targeting a part of the brain to reduce/eliminate symptoms of depression. It's a noninvasive treatment. You're awake and in a comfortable chair with the part of the machine against your skull. You feel and hear intermittent tapping. Treatment is typically 5x/wk for 6-7 weeks with each treatment about 20 minutes. After each treatment you can go about your day. It's a big commitment but so worth it if it works. Obviously as with any treatment results vary. I'm a big advocate for it. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask .

[MonaBlue2024]

I hear you. I experience life in much the same way. What is stress and anxiety inside finds it's way out in many instances. To top that off, I'm highly sensitive so even if situations aren't me meant to hurt me personally, they do. I find it really hard with many relationships. Mostly friends ( which is probably the reason I don't have any), and at work. All I can say is hang in there. Life to me, has always been about survival. So breathe deep and keep trying. Don't give up.