Does it get better

[uniquediamond]

I catch myself everyday looking in the mirror and the vision of myself is slowly fading, I don’t know who I am anymore. The things I used to love doing is becoming a fogged memory and feels out of my reach. I used to love make up and doing my hair or others hair, and I catch myself not wanting to even do that, I love going fishing and camping but my anxiety says “ no let’s stay home” and my depression tells me “ you don’t like doing anything anymore” I have like 3 different voices in my head and the positive and upbeat voice is becoming a faded whisper as the others are getting louder and scaring me more and more. I don’t understand! I never understood anything about depression or anxiety and I didn’t know they were voices in our head that control our wellbeing and outlook on how we see things or how we look at ourselves, these thoughts and the physical damage it’s doing to me emotionally and physically are excuse my language “pissing me off” I don’t want my kids to see me like this anymore, it’s even effecting my dogs too, I’m good at putting on a fake mask so they don’t see, but kids are smarter then we think. I just want them to have their mom back and I miss myself too. 💔

[Hidden]

I get where you are coming from...those voices in our head, we must not pay attention to them, I know big challenge, huh? We must focus on the positives, like your kids, I'm sure they bring you joy! It really sucks to feel like this but we have to hang in there...I believe better days are on the way for us all!!! Love & Peace!!! XXX

[uniquediamond in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! And that’s what I try and tell myself every morning.

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

My pleasure I try very hard to do the same thing, sometimes it works, sometimes sadly not! I've had a very trying week so far, it's going to pass yet to feel like this just simply STINKS!!! Here's some joy just for you, because you are special! Love & Hugs!!! XXX

[uniquediamond in reply to Hidden]

You definitely put a smile on my face thank you! And I pray for lots of blessing to come your way! ❤️ I hope it gets better for all of us!

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

Well I'm glad I was able to do that for you!!! Just look at the name you go by, just beautiful!!! I'm here for you, wishing you joy & peace of mind!!!! Love & Hugs!!! XXX

[uniquediamond in reply to Hidden]

Your to sweet!! ❤️❤️🤗🤗 that means a lot thank you so much!

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

Now that depends on who you ask, hahaha!!!! Love & Peace just for you...because you are special!!! XXX

[uniquediamond in reply to Hidden]

Lol! Same statement goes for me also 😂

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

Ya know I could do this with you all day long, haha!!! XXX

[uniquediamond in reply to Hidden]

😂🤣 I could send emojis all day long haha

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

I only have a computer, maybe the only one in this world that doesn't.Just have no interest in it, my family thinks I should!! So sadly no emojis for me to do!!! XXX

[uniquediamond in reply to Hidden]

I think using emojis are cute and it helps to hide behind the pain we’re really facing inside, I’ve always been the type to try and spread positive and funny vibes towards people even when I’m crying inside.. does that make sense? Haha I hope so

[Hidden in reply to uniquediamond]

Oh it sure does, let's just laugh all day, one of my favorite things to do!!! I try to find the funny in all kinds of things, even me, hahaha!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

OOPs meant have a cell phone, sorry!!!

[Sillysausage234 in reply to uniquediamond]

Good to see a laugh....🌞😂

[Lyn842]

Hello there. So sad where you are. The usual questions....are you seeing a Dr for meds? Are you seeing a therapist? That being said, you can improve but you need help and it takes work. I have been where you are. I'm am a senior and I have dealt with depression since I was a child. I've gotten better for a time and then found myself in the black hole again. As hard as it is I have to remember I have come out of the hole each time. This may be the only time in your life you get this low. This can and will pass. Hug those children. They love you unconditionally. Keep posting.

[uniquediamond in reply to Lyn842]

No meds I would like to try a few natural ways before I go that route. And thank you for that message you have no idea how much it helps when people going through the same thing comment on my post! It’s a breath of fresh air for sure! I’m hoping this will pass because I can’t afford to sit around and battle this anymore, and I’m sure I speak for you and 1000 more people. ❤️

[Callie1518 in reply to Lyn842]

I too have fallen into the black hole again. Any words on how you pulled yourself out those other times?

[Callie1518 in reply to Callie1518]

I try to replace the voices with positive affirmations even Scripture verses if you are so inclined. Sometimes I listen on my phone for several hours. It gives me a break from the old, dark thoughts. I too am hoping to get better and am here to help support others to get better and not to think we are just stuck this way.

[uniquediamond in reply to Callie1518]

This time it feels worse then the last hole I fell in 12 years ago, I did things like drowning myself with my phone or watching movies, listening to music all the time, seeing my doctor every week to try and get him to listen for once that I wasn’t doing good, and he still didn’t listen, so I reached out to a counselor. Now I’m joining this group and reaching out, I’m taking it one day at a time and doing more research about all of it.

[Lyn842 in reply to Callie1518]

Hi Callie, its not one particular thing. I have sought help, sometimes reluctantly, meaning my husband has encouraged me. I have gone for counseling several times. I have been hospitalized where there was group therapy and a med change. I have attended outpatient group therapy after leaving the hospital. I have gone thru DBT training which taught coping skills. In one particular episode I even tried ECT. That was a desperate situation, a last resort type thing cause I wasn't improving. So all this boils down to each and every time I have sought help. I also believe my God has directed me each time. That's in hindsight after the episode is passing and I'm feeling a bit better. I have a wonderful hosp that I always have for backup. It gives me comfort that I know I can turn to if an episode is not passing. So many people suffer in silence but there is help. Sometimes trying to fix yourself by yourself just doesn't work. That's my story Callie. I encourage you to reach out if you need it.

[uniquediamond in reply to Lyn842]

I am blessed to have a beautiful family that helps me in my time of need, sometimes I feel that talking about it helps me through my hard times, and this site has definitely opened my eyes to see that I’m not alone and I’m not the only one going through this in my life. I pray about it often and ask for healing if not for me for my children, because those 3 are the most important people in my life and they need their mom, I sometimes feel like I shut them out so they don’t see the true battle I’m facing and that’s just the depression part of it and the anxiety keeps me awake off and on all time so that feeds into almost everything that I battle throughout the day. I hope and pray we all overcome this obstacle we face.

[Lyn842 in reply to uniquediamond]

I hope you get better for your 3 children And for yourself. Glad you have family to reach out to also. I don't know where I'd be if not for my husband. He's seen me at my worse and still loves me. Been married 50 yrs!

[uniquediamond in reply to Lyn842]

50 years!? That’s amazing! Hopefully one day I’ll have that kinda love story! ❤️❤️ Thank you for the messages you definitely have helped me see something