Helpp

[No_Longer_Human]

Mom got upset that i got upset when she told me she wants to marry me off to an old prince with children prince so i never work and when i got upset (as if there are princes out there waiting for me), she said it's because i haven't worked, it's so tough to have work and children sick at home as if i don't know her complaints she does every night. And it all started with "there are triplets born today, imagine you have triplets". I was like shh karma is listening, grandma wanted to get married to an alcoholic and then mom started with her bullshit. I'm not a golddiger that would tolerate some old pimp with whores around just for the money. I'm mentally ill because of her, that's why i can't work, and because she scares the shit out of me for work. I'm aware of the workhours and breaks and so, im searching for a job, but she doesn't realise it

[hypercat54]

Develop a sense of humour and just laugh and tell your mum she is just being daft. Why do you take those kind of silly remarks seriously?

Can she force you to marry a mythical prince or something? Its too silly for words. Lighten up a bit.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to hypercat54]

I will try. Just it felt offensive and as if she's shaming me for not working without realising my mental illness' damage and giving birth ti 5 kids wouldn't be easier that work. Also it messed with my ideals of feminism and freedom. Messed with my health issues. Messed with my ideology. Also she thinks im not going out in purpose where i can meet people. She's now lecturing me on how a music i hate and pitying herself

[hypercat54 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I know its not easy but I am glad you are trying. This is an improvement over your usual attitude so well done.

You have to get a job of some kind-it doesn't really matter what as you have to start bringing some money into the house, mental illness or not.

If not then nothing will change and you will just have to put up with the foibles of your mother who is keeping you and continuing to complain about her.

I know it isn't easy thinking about working with mental health conditions but having some money of your own and your pride will, I believe, help you.

After all it couldn't be worse than what you are going through now could it?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you. I have decided it. I will go work in any clothes store in the mall near dad's appartment and get out of here alive. Mom's abusing me till pain. The thing is that i was planning to visit my friend this weekend to escape but mom wants me to visit him the next weekend so i keep an eye on sis. It will postpone my moving out and i hope the jobs are still there. The perfume one is already gone. I'm having really bad auras rn. I need to get out of here. This friend is ghosting me. But i really need to take some action instead of complaining and going crazy. Thank you for saying i can still work with my mental. My head is spinning

[hypercat54 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I worked all my life with depression...still don't know how I managed it lol

[Shnookie in reply to hypercat54]

U were able to do this because it was mind over. U have a survivor gene. Believe me when my beloved mommy had stage 4 metastatic Pancreatic cancer and I was her sole caregiver I went into automatic pilot mode. I did whatever I could to give her some comfort. After she died, I became very sick for a few weeks Then when I recovered, I went to a bereavement group and went on with my life again.

[Alpakka123 in reply to Shnookie]

Hi Shnookie,Isn't there a book somewhere called Mind Over Matter?

(Don't mind me. Your comment just reminded me of it, that's all. I hope you're well)

[Shnookie in reply to Alpakka123]

I’m not sure if there is a book with this name. I just know with some of the experiences in my life, that is how I survived. I fell on my head at work and have started physical therapy. I’m a bit sore. But I’m able to work. So this is a good thing.

[Alpakka123]

Hi,Please stop blaming others for you not working. If you don't work you don't work, but that's not your mom's (,or anyone else's) fault. It is this point that I'm trying to get at.

Are you going to use her (or other outside stimuli) as an excuse for your situation your entire life? I hope not. You're not doing yourself any favors by doing so. You're keeping yourself stuck.

She has go's at you for not working, right? And you (understandably) don't like it when she does this, right? You can do something about this.

(This isn't meant to be rude at all; I'm just trying to get you to see how some of what you write sounds to me at least (that you are keeping yourself stuck by blaming others for your situation). You alone have the power to change your predicament).

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Alpakka123]

Thank you. She's always complaining how hard working is and got me scared

[Alpakka123 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Hi, hon. You're welcome. Why does her complaining about work scare you? Jobs are so vastly different. Just because she might not like what she's doing, that doesn't mean that you won't like it either.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Alpakka123]

She's mentally ill, I'm like her, might go mental like her and fired

[hypercat54 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

You are not your mother!!

[No_Longer_Human in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you. She's really drunk and forcing sis to eat faster to go to bed even though it's 9pm and im so scared. My head hurts so much

[Alpakka123 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I'm sorry your mom is scaring you. She's interacting with your sister and not you. That interaction is between your mom and your sister. Not you. Easier said than done I know, but try not to take it in.(This reminds me of something my pastor told me. She said that there's a lot of terminally ill people in the parish, but then she said "I don't want you to take it in").

Try to separate the situations.

[Alpakka123 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

You are not your mother. Somehow you need to see yourself as separate from her.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Alpakka123]

Thank you Alpakka. I woke up and started crying

[Alpakka123 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Oh, dear. I hope they were good tears.

[hypercat54 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Look at the positives as well though. You will be earning money, you can get out from home more, you can meet others, maybe even make friends. There are a lot of plusses too.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to hypercat54]

I will miss mom and sis tho

[PeaceNeed]

When you get a job think of it as a way to get away from her.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to PeaceNeed]

I do but every time im close to getting a job i just collapse