Don't know what to do anymore

[Nowan]

I'm 34, struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I can't look at a single section of my life as good, growing up was miserable, constant fighting and abuse from people who are supposed to be there for you. I always feel like everyone around me barely tolerates me. Every med I've tried makes me feel like a zombie and I'd rather go with natural meds anyway. Don't have enough money tyo pay for counseling, never had a good counselor that I could trust anyway. Anyone know any tricks or tips to just get through the day? And I don't care is marijuana is legal, I'm not using it.

[Hidden]

Hi it's not easy trying to cope. I have 5 genetic mental health issues. Whatever is troubling you perhaps you can offload with me.

[Nowan in reply to Hidden]

I appreciate it. I just have a hard time dealing with all of this sometimes. Get sh** on work then same thing at home. I just feel like the only reason people put up with me is because of the things I do for them, but I get so tired always giving and giving. I work 12+ hours a day at work then come home, have to cook, then dishes, then clean counters and table and everything else. I'm just so tired. The only thing I've ever wanted was to be loved. As a kid most people would dream of being a fireman or astronaut. Me? I dreamt of being loved. Part of me says I don't deserve any better, but part of me is screaming that I DO deserve to be loved.

[one-love]

I know your pain I have my good days and my bad days a lot of my anxiety attacks I thought were heart attacks in the beginning because of the physical symptoms I was always having (heart pounding, dizzy, impending doom feeling, breathing difficulty) but after years of having them and talking to doctors and therapists I realize now when I have them they are just anxiety attacks but they can be very scary for sure if you don't know what it is in the beginning. I hate taking RX meds too so it's a double edge sword, I feel like I trade one problem for another when I take the pills the doctors give me and all the side effects that come with them. To be honest I have been using medical marijuana for the last few years and I feel it really helps me and doesn't have near as many bad side effects. I know it might sound crazy but look into it and try a sativa strain it really helps with mood, anxiety and depression. But use a low does if you never tried it before I know you said your not interested in medical cannabis but it truly works if you are in that desperate need of relief it would be an option I would consider they make it in a pill form which works great for me. Good luck

[Nowan in reply to one-love]

Part of the reason I don't want to use medical marijuana is because of my work. I'm a medical driver so they have an extremely strict no drug policy.

[one-love in reply to Nowan]

Gotcha well hopefully in the mean time you can find the right medicine for you that works and eventually medical cannabis will be federally rescheduled and your job won't be able to stop you