After 6 months of waiting I had my psych appointment today. I researched them last night, finding several negative reviews with solid concerns. I had no other choice so I went anyway.
The first thing she asked me was what brought me in, I explained my depression and anxiety. Then she asked if I wanted medicine. A pretty wild question considering she's a psychiatric nurse, it's a psychiatric office full of psychiatrists and psychiatric nurses. She doesn't have qualifications to be a therapist, so why on earth would I be there for anything else?
I told her about my last attempt and she gave me a five minute lecture telling me how painful and dangerous it is. It wasn't received well considering this is the first time we've met and she's trying to scare me out of suicidal thoughts. I made it clear that the thoughts were intrusive and not active but she went on about describing methods and describing pain to me. No compassion or empathy for why I might be driven to think of that.
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CroutonBehavior
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I had 1 of those. My first time with a therapist and I was 12yrs old. She seemed nice. Asked my mom and me what brought us in to see her. Which wasn't helpful because my mom was in denial about what was exactly wrong with me. And I didn't know what was wrong with me either only that I was afraid to leave the house. And sometimes at school I get so nervous about being in the cafeteria that I threw up. She diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder and put me on Zoloft. First it was 10mg and each visit I go upgraded to a higher dosage until I didn't feel anything. I remember thinking about my grandpa who had passed and I missed him. Usually that makes me misty eyed and I realized "ooh wow I can't even cry." But I had to stop taking Zoloft because I started getting lumps like cysts on my body. And then it came up for blood work and urine samples. I went to a different place for that and I remember seeing the tubes didn't had a label and he set them in a tray with other tubes that were labeled. I didn't think much of it until I got a call from the office. The psychiatrist wanted to talked to us about the results. First she met with me in private which was the first. She told me the results say I'm pregnant at least by a week. I said that's impossible because I can't even think about boys when Im too afraid to even leave the house or speak to someone I don't know. Plus I didn't like any boys at my school. She said she believed me. And then asked to speak to my mom in private. She told my mom the results and my mom said that must be a mistake. To which the doc said well we all know that sometimes children lie. It's possible she could have snuck off to see some boy. My mom said I doubt it. We live in a tiny house and again she has this unhealthy attachment issue with the house. So to satisfy the doc I had to make an appointment with my general doctor and we told her what happened and she's like 1. That's impossible to know your pregnant by 1 week. But we'll settle this once and for all. She told me to go pee in a cup and bring it back. She broke out a pregnancy test and dunk it and we waited. She's like I think they fudge the results or have someone else's. And then she leaned over and said you're not pregnant. I said can I get that in writing and she goes yeah. So my doctor sent it over to my psychiatrist and the psychiatrist was satisfied but never apologized. She was terrible. Luckily for me my insurance changed and I started seeing this psychiatrist I have been since and he is such a sweet man. He understood I was a child and didn't know what was going on and that it would be difficult to get to the root of the problem if my mom was in the room answering for me. Which is what the other psychiatrist did.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Doesn't make yourself feel very good.
Argh, sounds like a robot. I am sorry that you had to go through that CroutonBehavior. Did you get a prescription in the end? I hope you can get a small boost to turn into some positive momentum. Also, if I have not said this yet, I rather like your username. ☮️
Are you going to give it a shot? I do think that we can make it without meds, but sometimes I think they can be a useful tool to help us get to a spot where we can make some changes to our thinking and alleviate some pain. I find that they all dull emotions and feeling to some degree, but sometimes I think that is okay for a year or even two or even your whole life if it makes you have peace. I am a fan of trying everything once. ☮️
For me personally it's not possible to live without medication. I've had suicidal thoughts and depression since I was 9, I'm almost 22 now. It went untreated until I was 19 and started seeking my own health care. It won't work out because I forgot to mention that I'm on birth control for pre menstrual dysphoric disorder. She prescribed lamictal which would interact with the birth control and both of them would lose efficiency.
I've taken lamictal before and it made me itch within a week of taking it. For reasons outside of that I stopped taking the medication. She said itching without rash isn't usually a thing. But looking back it could've been an allergic reaction. I have eczema and allergies but I know my body. What I experienced was a full body itch with redness and no bumps. So I probably won't be trying it again.
its really smart that you did research.... I got lucky and have a good psychiatrist, but even then there have been times where he's suggested something and ive flat out said no and told him what I was thinking in terms of my treatment (ok, im also 40 and ive been on the medication train since I was 19 as well)
Also-- Look up "Stevens Johnson's Syndrome"-- Im on Lamictal (Bipolar I w/ mixed features), and its a potential fatal reaction that's most notable symptom is a rash (which is prob why they made that comment)--
You may not have a rash but you had an adverse reaction. You know your body better than them- Im assuming there's a long list since you waited 6 months but honestly, it doesn't hurt trying to see if they can switch psychiatrists (may not be any better)--- and it may help your case if you mention the whole they prescribed a drug after you told them you had a reaction to it that doesn't exactly fit textbook Steven Johnsons, but most people air on the side of caution and wouldn't prescribe something that could cause a severe reaction (medical malpractice...?????)
unfortunately that’s the norm. It’s a business. Drugs coming from them “Doctors” aren’t any better than buying weed from your neighbor. Be careful because these meds will are 1) physically dependent. So if you quit taking them you will be extremely ill. So to avoid the terrible withdrawals you have to spend hundreds of dollars just for a prescription! If psychiatrists and therapists did their jobs and made us better than they would lose their jobs. Don’t look for help from people that are using you so they can live in expensive homes and go on expensive vacations trips while you become financially drained. I know this because I’ve been in the game 14 years of my adult life. They put me on drugs when I was a kid too. Funny every adult today thinks they have adhd now. I was told I had ADHD as a kid. When I became an adult it was cyclothymia, then it became insomnia then it just became general anxiety. Honestly you may have a dodged a bullet unlike me. I quit taking the meds and quit talking to the “doctors” my quality of life is still the same. I’m just not on legal drugs anymore
sorry to here you’re fears and anxiety sometimes our reflection relativity, takes a dive not on the high road as expected the middle road. which are our core values which need to be appreciated the need to lighten our burdens working to elevate those positive habits and lessen our self conception , of how we move forward reevaluate negative emotive clarity and focus in strength and appreciation of self esteem. what we would like to see what it would be like from past experiences and reasons that uplift aspire too hope you find the values that align with you’re inspirations
It can be so hard, I've attempted twice. People talk about how selfish suicide is, so it makes it harder.
Don't feel bad looking for more/different Drs. You're paying them to help you. One of mine recommended a relationship after a lot of abuse. Another asked me what meds I wanted, and I needed help figuring it out... Another I had to leave after years.. Finally things are going a little better.
If your next one goes well, fantastic! If not, please don't give up!!!
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Anxious though,i hope it's just anxious though lt
Psychiatrist 
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